I'll have the nachos & cheese

Not really fast food, but this summer I went to a sub place called Martone's in Essex Vermont, the town I attended middle school. Now anyone who's spent some time in that area and doesn't have their head up their ass knows that Martone's is the best fucking sub shop in the world, all Boar's Head meat and cheese, the most delicious fresh baked bread ever and they fucking load these things. No joke I think they use about a pound of meat and 6-8 slices of cheese, eating their sub is truly a religious experience.

Anyway, I hadn't had a sub from Martone's since Columbus day of 2008 (my last trip to VT) and needless to say I was excited to experience this beauty once again. My GF and I order subs to go, she gets roast beef with mayo and I get Turkey with oil and vinegar, she asks if I want to trade bites when we get back and I politely refuse since I cannot eat anything once it's been touched with mayo, but offer her a bite of mine. We drive back to Charlotte and hop the ferry back to Willsboro, NY where we were staying. During the entire ferry ride I am literally shaking with excitement and refuse to stop talking about how great it is to be eating Martone's again.

We get back to the place and sit down to eat. I take the paper off the sub like a kid on Christmas morning opening up the box he knows has his PS3 in it, I couldn't be more excited. I look at the sub in all its majesty, high quality turkey, cheese and vegetables as far as the eye can see, I pick up and hold the sub, it's just like I remember it, I can feel the perfect mixture of a hard exterior and a soft inside of the bread. I can also see some of the whi... WAIT IS THAT FUCKING MAYO ON MY SUB? I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR OIL AND VINEGAR, THERE'S NO WAY THAT BITCH DIDN'T HEAR ME, I WOULD NEVER ASK FOR MAYO. TWO FUCKING YEARS SINCE I'VE HAD A SUB FROM THERE AND I CAN'T EVEN EAT IT BECAUSE THEY FUCKED UP THE ORDER.

My heart was broken, it totally ruined my afternoon. If I walked in on my best friend fucking my girlfriend that would only have been the second worst thing to happen to me that day. Needless to say I will never ever not check a takeout order before leaving the shop again.

To add insult to injury I had to watch one of my friends who likes mayo eat the sub. He knows how much I love that place and being a good friend (read: total dick) wasn't even remotely bashful about proclaiming how delicious the sub was and how much greatness I was missing out on.

Wait, are you telling us that for $6 they just put Doritos on a plate and handed them to you? They didn't put nacho cheese on them first? Just straight up Doritos from the bag on the plate? I've heard of some shady shit before, but that takes the cake.

 

A friend of mine went to a diner one night and he ordered nachos and cheese and I ordered cheese fries. He got Doritos (although in restrospect it may have been a shitty generic brand of Doritos) but at least they put some cheese whiz on them. My wonderful cheese fries were a plate of fries that someone threw a slice of American cheese over.

 

Wait.. how did you not take a shit on their bathroom floor or cause some other sort of mayhem? They seriously charged you $6 for a plate of Doritos?

Focus: I can't believe Arby's and Wendy's are run by the same company. I am a die-hard Wendy's fan, but I will NEVER go to Arby's again. This happened when I was in high school. I never particularly liked Arby's, but my dad really wanted to go there.

We walked in, and gave our orders to the friendly mexican with meth-mouth at the counter. After repeating them a few times to make sure he understood, we sat down at our table. The atmosphere of the restaurant was amazing. A large section of insulation stuck out from the ceiling, and yellow water dripped from it into a bucket on the floor. Our food was about as good as Arby's usually is, and I went to the counter to get some ranch dressing for my chicken. Instead of giving me a packet of ranch, as one would expect, the mexican gave me a small plastic cup covered in saran wrap. I decided not to eat the ranch, and instead tossed it on the floor under my table.

Unsurprisingly, my dad and I both ended up getting very sick from our lunch at Arby's. I wish they'd bulldoze that place.

 

I was once in a Friendly's in Northern Virginia with my dad after a long day of fishing, so we were hungry, and we were also the only people in the place.

The uninterested waitress sauntered over, took our orders, brought us our drinks. And that was it. We waited for our food for a while, which shouldn't be too hard at a place that pretty much just reheats their food (we go for the ice cream, but get a meal to not feel unhealthy. Their fucking peanut butter cup sundae rocks my world)

So we wait, and I notice that my dad (who has Aspergers, if any of you remember the thread from the old board) is staring at something behind me. He then says matter of factly: "Our food has been sitting under the heater on the counter for 10 minutes now"

So he tries to get the waitress' attention, but she is on the phone, probably with her boyfriend back home in the trailer, and she more or less ignores him.

So my dad stands up, walks into the kitchen/serving area, grabs our plates, and starts walking back to the table with them. The waitress comes over and asks my dad: "What he thinks he is doing"

My dad replies: "I thought you guys must have had a new policy where the customer gets their own food from the kitchen."

My dad was annoyed enough that we ate our meal, left exact change and I didn't get my ice cream.

 

Speaking of Friendly's, I once went there with my boyfriend and ordered a banana split. The waitress brought us the dish of ice cream and sundae toppings, but it was missing one thing - the banana. Upon informing the waitress of this, you'd imagine she would take the dish back and make us a proper banana split. Nope. She went back into the kitchen and got an unpeeled banana and dropped it off at our table. Thanks.

 

You still ate there? Fuck dude, restaurants are like fucking cockroaches unless you're in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, and even then there's usually at least two to choose from. You kinda sealed the deal for yourself here.

FOCUS: I ate at a Denny's while in Regina setting up a restaurant for a friend. I went in at 2am after I finished up that day, pulled out a book and ordered some sort of chicken and tomato sandwich. It's not great, but it's alright, and I move on to a piece of apple pie afterwards. The piece I was served was moldy. It wasn't just a small quarter inch spot either, it was like looking at a tabby cat. A dull green tabby cat. I wasn't looking up when it was dropped off and I didn't see it at first, but I quickly called the waitress over and got a new one. No worries I figured, at least until I got the bill. She charged me for two pieces.

I left my cash on the table, no tip, minus the cost of the two pieces of pie. Happily enough, that's one of my worst experiences. I get treated like gold at places, and I don't eat at shitholes.

 

I don't understand why people constantly put up with this kind of shit. If you didn't put the sour cream on the side, OK. That's no big deal. But if someone had given me a bag of Doritos when I ordered Nachos and Cheese or a banana split with a missing banana I would walk out the door. No paying for the meal. Much less, no eating the meal. People seem to feel like they have this obligation to pay once the food is already made. But guess what, you're still ordering a service from a business. It's that simple. If they provide shitty service you have no obligation to pay them. Fuck them.

 

There's a chain of ice cream parlor/ restaurants in the midwest called Bridgemans. Their ice cream is good so I ordered food at this one joint in a really small town. I got some fried chicken, mashed potatoes 'n gravy, and some corn. The chicken was deep fried to a hard crisp and was pretty much hollow with no meat, the potatoes had that familiar "leftovers" reheated potatoes taste to them and the corn tasted burned. I took about a bite of each and after realizing it was terrible I told them and I refused to pay. They tried to tell me that it was all fresh and stuff and insisted I paid or they would call the cops. I walked out anyways and never was stopped or anything.

I always hate getting food and having the order wrong. I don't like onions, pickles, tomatoes and stuff and I'll always tell them 2-3 times to hopefully get it right. I know some people won't complain but I worked for 3 years as a cook and I actually tried to get it right and if it wasn't I'd get it back and have to start over so I figure todays entry level workers need to learn to get it right.