My mother, uncle and I have eaten peanut butter and pickle sandwiches since I was little. It was a staple in my diet, I don't even look at it as weird haha.
Bacon Crabburgers are the shit. They are simply the greatest invention known to mankind since sex. If fact, if someone invented a way to package sex and put it straight into your mouth, it would taste a lot like a bacon cheeseburger. And I don't want to oversell it here, but did you know that a Bacon Crabburger could have prevented the holocaust? Berlin, 1939 Hitler and his best friend Goebbels sat at the kitchen table, discussing how they were going to take over the world and make everyone speak in a language that requires them to spit through their teeth at least once every three syllables. All of this is called to a premature halt when Adolf feels the first faint twangs of hunger gnawing at his belly. "Goebbels, look in ze kitchen cupboard. Zere should be a can of macaroni chiz in zere. Heat zis can up, zen bring it to me zo I may eat it. Schnell!" Goebbels jumps up, scouring the cupboards for his beloved leader's favorite meal. But alas, the cupboards are bare. There is absolutely fuck all in there. "Mein Fuhrer, zere is no macaroni chiz! You must hoff eaten it yesterday!" "Blast Und Fucken! Look in zat cupboard zere - if it iz empty, I vill sett fire to every Jew in ze Vurld!" "Zere is fuck all in zere, Mein Fuhrer." "Bastardz! Look in zat cupboard at ze end, if it is empty, I vill gaz every gypsy in ze Vurld!" "Zere is nussink in zis von eizer, Mein Fuhrer!" "Mein Gott! Check ze fridge, you fucken imbezile! If zere is nussink in zere, I vill shoot every homo in ze Vurld!" "Vonce again, you are schitt out of luck, Mein Fuhrer!" Just then, the two Germans hear the screeching of brakes right outside Hitler's modest four-room flat. Goebbels rushes to the window to investigate. "Mein Fuhrer, ve are saved! Zere iz a fucken Food Van outzide!" Hitler and Goebbels rush out of the front door, and make their way up to the van. The vender opens the hatch on the side, and asks the two evil Nazis for their order. "I vill have nussink, but mein Fuhrer vill have.... vot vill you have, mein Fuhrer?" "Ein Bacon Crabburger mit Onions. No Ketchuppen." "Ja, ein Bacon Crabburger mit Onions. Halten zie Ketchuppen." The vender hands the two Germans their food. "That'll be two Deutsch marks." "Pay ze mann, Goebbels." Goebbels hands over the money, muttering under his breath. As they go in to scoff their lunch, the vender fires up the van and speeds off. The Germans, meanwhile, finish their meal. Goebbels watches while Hitler wipes grease off his face with his sleeve, and picks the final breadcrumbs out of his toothbrush moustache. Goebbels then turns his attention once again to business. "So, how are ve going to do zis zen, Mein Fuhrer? I was zinking zat ve could build zese huge camps..." "Vot ze fucken are you talking about, Goebbels?" "Killing ze Jews, und ze gypsies, und ze homos." "Aaah, zat. Forget I said anyzing. I just get a little kranky ven I am hongry. Let's go ice-zkating inzted." "Vhoopeee!" And so, by the timely delivery of a bacon baconburger with onions (no ketchup), the greatest food ever known to man managed to avert the course of history and save over six million people from their untimely deaths in concentration camps, prevent one of the world's most destructive wars, and ensured that the term 'LOL JEWS' can now be used in polite conversation.
My girlfriend glared at me for a few minutes when I told her that I like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches..
Today I made this sandwich: buttered and toasted rye seared peppercorn crusted turkey baby swiss cheese sauerkraut special sauce consisting of mayo, garlic, olive oil, fire-roasted red bell pepper, crushed bacon and variety of other spices. I was going to take a picture, but couldn't keep from immediately eating it, and then making another.
Shit. I still love ketchup on my eggs. Ketchup and tons of fresh ground pepper. FOCUS: The weirdest food thing I've seen was in my dorm last year when I walked into the kitchen on my floor and a bunch of guys from the dorm were all sitting there cooking this maple smoked bacon and wrapping the freshly cooked bacon around these gummy welch's fruit snacks.
All this PB and pickles talk has me curious. What kind of pickles should I be using to maximize my experience?
One should always use these pickles. To think that other pickles even exist is blasphemous. Seriously though, Claussen pickles are the most amazing food ever. I could eat just a whole jar of these all alone.
Man if you are going to steal someones story word for word (http://turdston.blogspot.com) at least give credit. Or at the very least remember to change the bacon baconburger to be the crab burger you are talking about. Apologies if that is actually your own blog.