... No, not really. But you'd better watch yourself, effers. Nothing big this weekend, just Fathers Day and stuff. In other words, its the friggin' BEST WEEKEND EVER for the grand opening of the new local Academy Sports. I've already put 7 Robo-ducks on lay-a-way... just 'cause. The Wife doesn't know how much trouble she's in, I'm telling you. And if they have little Guy Harvey onesies for the baby, then I'm never going to have friggin' money again, and I'm not even sad about that. I bought three bottles of wine and a handle of Old Charter to play with this weekend while I sit around the house and play Mario Party 8 with The Wife. If my TV makes it through the weekend without me falling into it, then I will officially declare a success!
I am having an oral surgery later today, also this will be my first time under general anesthesia, and my husband is out of town at the US Open. Never let it be said that I am not a good wife.
Just keep the TV away from your porch and things should be golden. Mya, have somebody driving you home after? They put me under when I had my wisdom teeth out and I was on another damn planet for at least two hours after I woke up.
Tonight I'll be seeing the Go-go's and the B-52's at an outdoor venue that allows you to bring in your own food and booze. Hell yeah!
After my last sim of flight school today, I'm going to drive 6 hours with three girls to six flags for the weekend. I dare not say what could go wrong, because Murphey will no doubtedly stick his fucking head out somewhere. Otherwise, enjoy your weekend Idiots, I will be riding roller coasters and getting drunk in Atlanta!!
I took my friend to get his wisdom teeth out when I was in college. He was so fucked up when he came out of it. one of the funniest thing I had ever seen. Aaron- "Frebis, gimmmmme a smmoke. I don't wannnnt to waste this buzzzzz" Frebis- "The nurse told me you aren't supposed to smoke" Aaron- "Dammmmnnnn it give me one" I finally give him one. He holds it up to somewhere near his eye and tries to light it. "It won't stay lit". It took him another 5 minutes to find his mouth. Then he hit on the lady at the pharmacy when he picked up his Rx. "You good lookin' and can get my Vicadin. I think I like you" I wish I had gotten mine out later in life, so I could have enjoyed the buzz. I got mine out when I was in 9th grade, and just remember feeling sick.
This weekend is my family reunion. We do it every year the day before Father's Day in memory of my great-grandmother. The little kids play games and try to catch crayfish in the stream. There's an egg toss with prizes, a baseball game that lasts for four or five hours, and a lot of alcohol. This year, I'm bringing the blender and we're going to make margaritas. The night usually ends with my sister and I going out to some bars with all our out-of-town cousins. My uncle has one of those vans that families with 19 children use, so he's the designated driver.
Jesus. I Nearly forgot it was father's day this weekend. I get to feel like a big big man for a day. Maybe I'll get all cocktailed up and go pick fights at the pop warner football fields
I have 8 coronas in the fridge. One exam, one shift at work, and then I'm cracking into my beer supply. To be honest, I actually prefer dark beers; coronas are too light. I might go buy a couple limes to spice up my relationship with the Coronas. We shall see!
My best friend's 9 year old kid just broke his arm a few days ago. As in SERIOUSLY broke his arm; bones sticking through the skin kind of broken. My buddy had a hard time not throwing up while saying "you'll be fine son, but let's go to the hospital". The kid was a trooper... didn't whine or snivel, just said "yeah, Dad, it's all kind of fucked up though, isn't it?" "Yes, son, it is. It surely is all kinds of fucked up." They got to the hospital and they had to put him under to set it, but they used some weird anaesthetic where they don't put him right under, he's still up and experiencing it, but just doesn't remember it later. I guess one of the side effects is that the kid's speech filter got shut off, and my buddy became incredibly embarrassed by what his kid was saying to the nurse and doctor who was working on him. He would call the nurse a vile cunt, only to say "sorry, didn't mean to call you that", only to say it to her again. According to my friend, his kid has quite the vocabulary. Like father, like son. He said there was nothing like being in the emergency waiting room hearing his kid scream outrageously vulgar insults at the top of his lungs to everyone around. Yep, that was a very proud moment for him. As he tried to hide behind the magazine he was reading.
I'm surprised that the kid didn't simply pass out. My dad broke both of his ankles like that (bones out of the skin, completely fractured) just before I was born, and as the story goes, he simply passed out from the pain. That kid is a trooper.
No kidding. My friend was incredibly proud over the fact that the kid didn't play the victim, was incredibly stoic about the whole thing, and was even polite enough to apologize to the medical staff for the things he said to them. Meanwhile, he said he had a hard enough time not throwing up that they kicked him out of the room while working on his kid. "My kid isn't a pussy." He was quite proud of that.
Had a meeting today with a new client. She had a picture of her baby on her desk, I said it was cute. She said her baby had died 2 years earlier. *Silence* Upon closer inspection, the baby was not sleeping in a crib, but laying in a baby coffin. What. The. Fuck.
Is "My Nicaraguan housekeeper showed up late and is messing with my daughter's nap schedule" one of those First World, white people, I don't want to do my own laundry kind of problems, about which I shouldn't complain?
Going to the Reds - Jays game tonight. My girlfriend grew up in an Ontario suburb before moving to Ohio and is a big fan of Joey Votto ("Can we get seats near first base? Votto has a cute butt."). I guess this game is a no-brainer.