I would take the soul mate. Financial stress is awful, but it can be overcome. Having someone who supports you, always has your back and will love you through anything is irreplaceable and next to impossible to find. At the end of the day, and at the end of my life, is my 40ft yacht really going to hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay?
Honestly not quite sure how to respond to this, but I'll take a stab at it anyway. First of all, you're 27, so you're old and experienced enough (more experienced than me too) to know what financial hardship is. Also, it sounds like you ARE feeding your child, big step up from the type of poverty I was addressing earlier where rent needs to get knocked out so you have a roof before your kid can eat. Not sure how to read this, are you saying you're stuffing aside $50/month on top of paying rent and bills? Because if so as a single father you're way ahead of the game. This again goes back to my qualifier. The opinion of a 27 year old father who has faced financial hardship and still chooses love over money has far more weight in my mind than a 20 year old single college student with that mindset. I probably didn't clarify well enough earlier, but I would choose love and basic financial security over riches and loneliness. But if it came down to poverty and love vs financial security and loneliness, I'll take the latter.
Well, for a while I was having a hard time making ends meet and at one point there was a $2000 loan that was taken out just to pay rent (which fucked me even more in the long run). If it truly came down to it, my boy would never go hungry. That's why I've got my 22 rifle in the closet and some fishing poles in the garage. He'll either eat pidgeons or local fish before he starves. Right now I'm only setting aside about $120 a month or so and putting that into my 401K for a total of like $1800 in the account right now. I can't touch any of it since none of it is vested, so this money for all intents and purposes is nonexistent. I wouldn't really consider myself ahead of the game, moreso just preparing for the future. I'm doing a few other things on the side too which nets me some money later on (getting my job to pay for my school), but aside from that I don't really save. Contrary to what a lot of people would believe around me and despite by cynicism I've always been a hopeless romantic.
This. I love my wife. However, sometimes I get so angry about the amount of (non-dischargeable, with you for life) money we owe or will owe based on my wife's desired life-style that I can't sleep at all-- as in, it's 4:00 a.m., I'm still not asleep, so I just roll out of bed and take a shower. And by all standards, we are well-off, and haven't ever had problems putting food on the table or getting the bills paid. Getting slightly off topic-- I can't imagine that I'm that different from anyone else my own age (late 30's, kids, mortgage, car). If this economy stays like this (decreasing income, increasing costs, no new jobs, no chance for lateral movement) for the next five to ten years, there are going to be some real, real problems.
I hate to deviate from the focus here, but there was an architect once, I believe, Louis I. Kahn, who said something which really struck me, something along the lines of: Your work is the only thing you can really count on in life, ahead of all relationships and money, etc. (Not quoting directly, could not find source) From what I know, he died poor and alone at the end of a long but productive career. If I could add a third dimension to the question, I would say the ability to pursue one's true passion, uninhibited by significant financial stress or relationship issues, would be the best choice. After all, a solid career is something that wont go running out the door on you. To answer the question as is, I'd choose money. The other alternative seems to imply that people are floating around as random rigid puzzle pieces, waiting to snap to the best match, and that "your" perfect match will be fished from the game. I think people in the mental/personality realm are capable of quite a bit of change over time, and that a "soul mate" relationship ought to begin as lukewarm, but then heat up as the puzzle pieces form a tighter fit.
Hard to say. Even soulmates/true loves break up: Michael Jackson and Lisa-Marie Presley proved it. Nobody saw that bombshell coming. Unlike what idiots have said countless times, money CAN buy happiness and if you don't believe me just ask Hugh Hefner then apologize to me later.
The person that fits you. And will continue to fit you for the next 25 - 60 years. Even when you hate each other.
I would take the money. I've been broke and I've been in love. The suckiness of being broke hurts more than the awesome of being in love can overcome.
Love is abstract, money is not. That being said though, I'd choose love. Money's great, but nearly all of my best experiences in life had nothing to do with cash flow.
We bought our home in 2008. Two weeks after we bought the place, I lost my job. I haven't found steady work since. We've been living paycheck to paycheck ever since that fateful day. So, I've got the love part but not the money part. Being broke is shitty, but at the end of the day, I've got someone to lean on when I need the support. That's worth more to me. I'd never refuse a winning lottery ticket. But if it was between the money and my husband, the husband would win hands down. And would always win.
I grew up at least upper middle class. My parents were always able to afford the things they wanted/needed within reason. They still pay my room and board and whatever tuition isn't covered by scholarships. Even though I keep jobs during the summer there is no way I would be able to afford school without that money. Not being poor really is as good as everyone says it is. I would choose the money without thinking twice. Lots of hot girls and wealth? Count me in. If that means I'm shallow or lack maturity, so be it.
I would take the money. I'm 25 now, never bothered with a long or serious relationship. I can literally go days without talking to anyone and not feel lonely. Two winters ago when I was laid off, completely broke and hadn't started school yet I would do just that. I've never felt the need or had the desire or dreams to grow old with the same person. With a pile of money though, I could arrange whatever kind of relationship I'd want with women.