If 1,170,000 People Join, My Girlfriend Will Marry Me!

Today, I checked my facebook and got an invite to this group.

From the description (I spoilered it because it wouldn't let me put it in quotes for some odd reason. Mods, if you can fix it, awesome--if not, it still works.):

Focus 1: Discuss the spectacular failure that this marriage will be. I'll marry you if you can get a million people in a Facebook group for it? Talk about all the right reasons...

Focus 2: What is the craziest thing you have ever done or seen done for love?

 

I imagined it going down like this:

Him: Marry me!
Her: Uh...no.
Him: Pretty please! I love you!
Her: Yeah, maybe if you can get a million people to back you up.
Him: A million people you say? How about 1,170,000 people since January 17th is our anniversary? That'll just show you how much I love you!
Her: Yeah, like that'll happen. Go for it.

 

I think this one can be tucked away safely in this thread as well.

If 1m people join, girlfriend will let me turn our house into a pirate ship

If 1m people join, girlfriend will let me turn our house into a pirate ship
Category:
Just for Fun - Facebook Classics
Description:
I've always wanted to be a pirate, and the onlyway I can truely do this is to live aboard a pirate ship, as I am tied into a house and a mortgage with this house, and I dont live anywhere near the sea, the only thing I can do is to turn my house into a massive pirate ship.

I already have enough money to buy some wooden slats from B&Q, I just need to get my girlfriend to agree to remortgage the house so that I can afford decking, and masts, and eventually sails.

If 1 million people joined this group it would help her understand that this isnt such a bad idea, and lots of people would do it as well, and it would help my dream come true.

If you can leave a piratty message on the wall, it would also help.




The guy is looking for a sponsorship to begin work on his house.

 

I stopped by his nonsensical page to perhaps lend a few kind words of support to his cause, only to find he had posted this:

Way to ruin the party Brett. I hope she DOES marry you. Dumbass.

I'm curious about the mentality of the 1,058,822 people who joined the group! Are these all silly teenage girls with stars in their eyes, romance novel fantasies and notions of vampire/human love? I doubt it. It's the *adults I weep for. The little girlies will likely grow out of it, while these adult fails are already doomed.

*I use the term adult loosely

 

Without trying to be too mean, I mean come on, this guy's face screams desparation and clinginess (is that even a word).

 

Lloyd was so much smoother than this chief.

 

Spoiler Tags due to Image sizes

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how bad is this marriage going to be?

Apparently it will be fine after the one true god brainwashes her into saying yes instead of holding out in this douchebag who keeps drooling all over her while some dude is putting it in her ass on the side.

 

Pretty good chance most of the people who joined joined as a joke, or just said "Yes" to whatever group invitation somebody else sent without thinking. Doomsayers relax.

 

While I recognize your point, a group can't grow to over a million members just by people clicking "Yes." A hell of a lot of people have to also decide to invite all their friends to the group. Which, as I can tell you from the experience of creating a fan page for my blog, takes a fair amount of time and effort.

(Unless there is a quickie way to "invite all" with your friend list. But I'm almost 100% positive this was removed a long time ago.)

 

Anybody who is in the military has a hundred of these stories. There's something about going to boot camp/getting deployed or what have you, and being surrounded by people of your same sex that makes people go insane. I'm talking marriages within a month of dating insane. God help me if I ever do that shit.

 

Reminds me of the old Dr. Pepper commercial, "I will do anything for love." Highlights include such old standbys as buying her the proper equipment to ride the cotton pony and looking like a gay with a penchant for murses while she tries on clothes that you will probably end up paying for.

 

I wish Facebook had a "Join this group because you want too mock and humiliate everyone who's join it, except the people who've click this button for the exact same reasons" button. That way, I can join a group, relentlessly make fun of and troll everyone who deserves their comeuppance. Instead, all I get is a fucking "Join group" and then advertise that I've joined the Chemtrail Conspiracy group too everyone*.


*This isn't a huge issue but my friends fall into the categories of people with similar senses of humor and completely gullible. One party will mock me as I would them and the other would send me messages like "Awww, that's so romantic" - I need some new friends.

 

Yeah. When I was in C school, I was friends with this girl who was engaged to some guy. I found her on facebook a few months later and started talking to her. Apparently she's married to a DIFFERENT guy now. Christ.

 

Sorry for the double post, but..

 

Does that mean we won't be getting the "If 2,000,000 people join this group, I can go out with the guys!" group?

 

These losers deserve each other. If this marriage doesn't end the same way Phil Hartman's does I will be in awe.

 

Does anybody believe this is actually real? That a girl would reject a guy three times, and then give him an ultimatum that 1.17 million people need to "back up" his proposal?

What is she, a real-life World of Warcraft quest-giver? When he was walking around, was there a big yellow exclamation point above her head?

"Hey, do you want to get married?"
"Sure. But first, I need you to go out and slay four Eldritch Ghosts, eight Skeleton Warriors, and six Snow Moose."
"OK, I did that."
"Great. Here is six gold, eight silver, 43 copper, and your choice of Mail Gauntlets or Cloth Gloves."
"I'll take the gloves."
OK, now go into the Cave of the Jhonka and return the Crystal of Enik to the Crystal Table in Snow Junction!"

What the fuck? More like "Hey if 1.17 million people join I'm going to be able to sell the list of all your personal information to my friend Spammy 'The Identity Theft King' McSpammerson over here."

This is why it's good that I don't run Facebook. If there was any chance this was real, I would put some code in such that the count of group members would approach, but never reach, the target number, no matter how many people joined. I'd call it ZenosParadox.php or something.

Goddamn I hate people sometimes.

 

I invited everyone to this group just so I can reaffirm my belief that she's still going to reject him for being such a fag.