I'd be living in a trailer park

Living in buttfuck Texas probably in a doublewide, driving a relatively new Chevy, with four kids, missing two teeth and probably have a busted front one, and never have left the TX/LA/AR area.

Gross.

 

I would have to say, my prospects would pretty much be the same. The girl I lost my virginity to wasn't exactly a paragon of class or virtue. Since I went into the Air Force after high school, I probably would've married her and I'm sure would have a couple of kids by now. Because I was sort of pursuing a relationship with her sister at the time, I'm sure family dynamics would be entertaining, to say the least.

 

The girl I lost my virginity to flunked out of high school (that's hard) and left the country to go back to the US about 10months later and immediately got pregnant. If my hook up with her was any indication the child was the product of jack daniels and too drunk to find my keys for a condom run. Naturally, her insanely alcoholic family was also deeply religious so abortions were out of the question. Hmmm.. so where would I be? Probably with about 7 children by now, each one of them too damaged by fetal alcohol syndrome to ever learn how to spell their own names.

 

So of the five of us who've posted so far, four of us it seems lost our virginity to a trainwreck. I wonder if that says something about us.

 

Aye.

I was a trainwreck til about 28. Unfortunately, the collateral damage of that was two marriages, and impending second divorce, and my kids. I was selfish, short sighted, somewhat useless, and though I'd been in the military I hadn't actually "done" anything. ExH2's addiction and alcoholism forced a rapid growing up and centering of my 'self' and my energies.
I started coaching when I was 30, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself in my LIFE.


In hindsight I undervalued certain parts of myself. I can't say I regret that necessarily, but I can and do acknowledge it.

 

She already had three kids from two fathers but she'd had her tubes tied. To this day the only woman I haven't worn a condom with. To the best of my knowledge anyway. She was meth skinny, Cleveland Brown or butter face, which ever you prefer. Her body back in the day was bangin. I miss that. We agreed that we should just have sex and not actually date, I think that was her insecurity letting me pull that one. We had some fun and hooked up periodically over the next ten years.

Honestly for all her faults she probably would have been pretty supportive when she wasn't having legal issues. For some reason she can't hold on to a license. She actually reached out this year and we talked a bit about the past. I'm pretty sure I would have had some serious legal issues and a crack addiction if we had stayed together. In some ways I think I would have improved her live but It really wasn't enough of a connection for me to get serious.

 

I lost my virginity to an extremely average sorority girl. Life would probably be about the same, although I think she'd be relying on me a lot more to pay the bills.

Honestly, I don't know enough about her to say anything insightful. She definitely wasn't a trainwreck, but she wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree.

 

I would probably be living in a small town somewhere upstate because the city is for materialistic bougie assholes. We'd be super broke because he refuses to work for The Man and gets his income from sporadically giving music lessons, odd jobs, and selling weed. He'd be really supportive of me writing novels or essays, but he'd be super dismissive and critical if I tried writing for magazines or websites unless it was about politics. So maybe I'd be writing for a local newspaper. I'd spend my summers on a commune in Tennessee. I would've probably never stopped being a pothead but he would think it would be really weak of me if I ever got drunk. I might've started getting into other drugs. I'd probably end up having to be a vegetarian just to make things easier. We'd be perfectly happy when we were doing various kinds of art together and being out in the mountains but I'd feel stifled and uneasy and like I wasn't allowed to be myself.

 

Realistically, not that much would change. We'd probably have to be long distance for a few years (yay contracts!), but other than that, uh, not much. She makes more than me. That's a nice bonus. Oh, and she still lives with her parents. Not sure how that'd work out.

 

She was fifteen, and necking moonshine out of a bottle when we met, and dropped out of highschool to work as a cleaner before she turned sixteen - she had an abortion and a kid before she turned 18 - so I'm guessing I'd be a doctor or a banker or something and happy with my life...

 

I'd probably be attending dinner parties with wealthy Liberal Arts graduates sipping on red wine and earnestly talking about the role of post-modernism in the art of Damien Hirst. They'd talk on about how busy they are with all their volunteer work and casually spend huge sums of their parent's money on clothes and art. I'd probably be living in a nice house bought for us by her property developer father. She'd be insisting on kids now (I'm 25).

On paper, it'd be a pretty good life, but in practice it would be really boring and stifling.

 

I'd be married to a counselor with 2.2 kids, an Audi wagon and a somewhat cushy lifestyle as opposed to the current suicide by tv dinner I'm currently living.

So, her bad decisions equal my good decisions? Win?

 

If I married the guy I lost my virginity to, we would be living in a house that his parents bought for him while he spends the day smoking weed and playing video games while collecting disability for ADD and occasionally working as a lifeguard. I probably would have still gotten my Masters degree, but it would have taken me a lot longer because I would have to work a series of dead-end jobs to afford basic living expenses. I would have probably made him talk to his doctor about the fact that ADD medication makes him unable to get aroused and we might have a kid or two by now. We would get into a lot of fights about the fact that he does nothing all day while I go to work. I would have stopped smoking weed regularly because of the kids and I would secretly resent him because he still smokes. I would never want to get a divorce because, as the one who makes money, I would have to support him whether we were married or not and I would prefer to just stay in the house his parents bought. He would never get divorced from me because he would have to have supervised visitation with the kids. We would eventually get separate bedrooms and I would take a lot of vacations back home with the kids. All this time would give me a chance to write and I would go on book tours where we would spend even more time apart.

He would a nice guy, though. Just a huge mooch and immature.

 

I'd probably be living in the same place with the same career, but I would have never joined the military or took time to see the world. I'd be married to a controlling, insecure woman who whines like a child when she doesn't get her way. I wouldn't have many friends left because she would see them as a threat and compete with them for time spent with me. I'd have a mother in law who sees me as a threat and competes with me for time with her, which wouldn't bother me, because by now I'd hate her so bad that any time spent away from her would be a vacation. She would have stunted my growth as a person, and I'd still have all the same insecurities and hang-ups that I had in high school. I would constantly think about what my life would be like if I had never met her.

 

Fuck should I know? That was 25 years ago.

 

I'd be living in Tulsa, OK married to a PA. We'd have a house, a dog and 2 kids. It would be boring but pleasant.

 

I would be living in a town in Texas of less than 4,000 people. I would live in an average house, with an average wife, with average kids, and live an average life. Every day I would be closer to death by monotony.