Celebrity culture in the U.S. is baffling. The amount of famous people that are famous for nothing other than being famous is astounding. But let's face it, there's a part of us that would love to famous. The women (or men), the cars, the houses, the exclusive clubs, the adulation. I would love to be a rock star. Don't get me wrong, there's downsides to be sure, but I'm sure I'd love to give it a try. However, there are famous people that I look at and think 'Jesus, I don't care about all your money and fame, I wouldn't want to be you.' Focus: What celebrity wouldn't you trade places with and why? Anti Focus: If you could be famous as yourself, what would you want it to be for? What would you do with your newfound fame and money?
I dont think I would trade places with any major celebrity. It just doesn't seem that great. I dont think I would want to temper my actions or what I say every time I leave the house because it could affect my marketability. That must be utterly exhausting. In order to keep with the focus though, if I have to pick one I would say Bill Cosby. Who would want to trade places with that situation? As for the anti-focus, I never really found fame appealing but I was chasing prestige for the longest time, which is a bit different. I had a chip on my shoulder about it for a while because the people around me seemed so much more successful. If tomorrow I woke up famous I would like to think Id use it for good and take up humanitarian causes, but I would be kidding myself. I would probably turn into a huge asshole to every one around me and generally treat people like shit. I know I have that quality in me and I fight it off constantly. I dont think fame would change me for the better.
anti-focus: I would love to get off my ass and write a novel, and have it published. The shallow part of me would love if it made a lot of money and the icing would be for it to be made into a movie. focus: I would not want to be a writer as famous as JK Rowling. That's just too much fame and too many expectations. The HP series, especially, I can't even imagine the pressure she was under with each new book And then once it is out there to be forever judged or obsessively adored. With her new series, it isn't as fraught because the story isn't building on itself - it's just a typical mystery series. I don't think I could even pull off a mystery series because people are always waiting for the next one. I would rather do one stand alone book and if the muse never strikes again it wouldn't matter - I could be a one-hit wonder.
Focus: I wouldn't change places with Jason Biggs. Yeah the guy is famous and has plenty of money, but he's also the butt of a ton of jokes, and apparently kind of a dick head. I'm way to insecure to handle all that. I'd probably turn into a complete asshole, or have a breakdown. Either way it sounds miserable. Anti-Focus: If I got famous I'd want it to be for two big movie roles. One that broke me out as a star, and the second for the big payday. Then I'd drop off the fucking map. You'd be suprised how far that money could get you. I'd buy a cabin in a mountain town somewhere and just enjoy myself skiing,hiking etc. I might pop up every once in a while to do quest starring or interesting roles for the fun of it, but I'd mostly just drop out of it all.
Steve Bartman interfered with a foul ball in the NLCS and is blamed for preventing the Cubs from getting to the World Series. The guy had to go into hiding because Cubs fans want to cut him. there is a also a ESPN documentary called 'Catching Hell' that explores his infamous misery
Focus: I would never want to be any caught using steroids or other enhancements athlete. That becomes such a smear on your life it's not worth it to my mind. Also wouldn't want to be a 'shitty author'. I'm looking at you, modern-day James Patterson. Anti-Focus: I think it would be cool to be known for a popular book series or a movie director, not sure I'd ever want to be an actor unless it was like a walk-on job from being known for the first two by a producer friend or whatever.
Focus: Axl Rose. Why? Well, at one time he was the biggest rock star on the planet with more money than a lottery winner and enough pussy to make Caligula jealous, but he lost all of that due to his primadonna antics. And those same fans who used to adore him now hate him. Oh sure, he still owns the rights to the name "Guns 'N Roses," but nobody cares (have you heard Chinese Democracy? That sucked shit straight out of a dog's ass.). And you know what the worst part is? He's so deluded that he doesn't get it. He still thinks he's awesome. Man, that must be hard. Alt. Focus: While I would love to be a rock star, I have no musical talent whatsoever. Since nobody gets famous for being a mechanic (my profession in real life), I think my only other option would be getting famous for being an adults-only comedian, like the next George Carlin or Bill Hicks. Getting paid to tell people what I have on my mind? Yes, please.
I would never want to be a child star. Those poor bastards are doomed to turn into a meth addict, porn star or, if they're lucky, the not-so-cute adult that peaked at age 8. No, thanks. I don't think I would handle celebrity well. Once, I was recognized in an elevator wearing workout clothes, no makeup and my hair shitty. Just me alone with a dude who recognized me from performances alone in a closed space. It freaked me the fuck out. I felt super paranoid and for a split second wondered if he was stalking me. I can't even imagine that x1000. I would last about 2 weeks. Anti-Focus: There's really nothing about me that would be notable enough to be famous unless I stumbled upon some amazing invention or discovery. Honestly, the most likely reason to be famous is for dying doing something stupid.
Focus: I would not like to trade places with Josh Hamilton, I do not think I could handle being a world class athlete who makes that much money and has that many demons chasing him everyday and having that many people that are disappointed when you fuck up and then having to keep saying sorry. Every single day cocaine and booze are calling his name. No thanks.
I couldn't deal with being famous. Period. I enjoyed my time playing music and performing, but there is no way I could deal with folks I don't know knowing my name and thinking they know me well enough to just walk up and talk to me. I don't like the general populace , let alone them thinking they can just walk up and invade my dinner, If I somehow became famous, I'd go the Marlon Brando route: Buy a fucking island and tell the world to go to hell.
My picture was once prominent enough in a news story that people I knew e-mailed me to tell me they saw me. Well, okay, my mom did. So did my ex-girlfriend, though, and I'd rather not have heard from her at the time. There was another time where the goings-on in my life were explained by linking to a CBC article. In a very small and indirect way I was once criticized on The National. It was not a good feeling. I suppose the benefits of being a celebrity can be really amazing, but the downsides are awful and numerous and you can never really escape from it.