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I Would Hatefuck You Into A Fine Powder

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Oct 17, 2012.

  1. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    And then I'd sprinkle it into your mother's tea.

    Based on a discussion in this week's WDT.

    Focus: Who would you hate-fuck and why? Describe it real good.

    Anti-focus: Stories of hate-fucking.
     
  2. Juice

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    Focus: I would hate fuck Nancy Pelosi until her bug eyes stayed that way. I'd probably also go at Lindsay Lohan.

    Alt Focus: I hate-fucked my ex girlfriend's ugly best friend. Why? Because if I'm going to get cheated on, I'm getting my revenge AND fucking up a friendship in the process.

    Scorched Earth, motherfuckers.
     
  3. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Ann Coulter. Personally I'm not really into anal but I'd definitely be making an exception for her. And I'd purposely knock her up just for the entertainment value of listening to the whore-logic she'd use to justify why it'd be ok for her to get an abortion, unlike every other woman in the world.
     
  4. scotchcrotch

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    Elizabeth Hasselback and Sarah Palin in an urban housing development. A train would have to follow on Palin for the amount of disgust I have for that woman.
     
  5. dixiebandit69

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    Focus: Realistically, I would hate-fuck my ex-wife. Why? Because even though I can't stand her most of the time, I still find her sexy, and she's amazing in bed.

    Alt. Focus: My ex-wife. After we split up, there would be times where we would have vicious arguments, and afterwards literally say "So... Wanna have sex?" After going at it like animals, we'd go back to hating each other.
    Yup, nothing dysfunctional about that.
     
  6. Binary

    Binary
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    <a class="postlink" href="http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com</a>
     
  7. Pinkcup

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    Karl Rove.

    I'd take my top off and rub my titties all over his balding head, making sure to smear his stupid little glasses with my underboob sweat. Then I'd "erotically" choke the fuck out of him with his stupid little tie for a while, making sure that fat prick was truly breathless and ready for the fucking I'd give him. So...that's foreplay.

    Then, I'd make us both fully disrobe and I'd let him watch me play with myself. But if he even attempted to touch the pathetic little cock that hides under his massive gut, I'd tie his hands behind him and smack him squarely in the face a few times for being a naughty, evil strategist. Then, I'd ride him bareback. Hard. I think I would actually put a lot of effort into this, because I want him to be genuinely into it. Hair flipping, back arching, moaning, sucking in my stomach, rubbing my hands all over his chest and looking admiringly at his nonexistent pecs, lots of unnecessary bobbing up and down to make my tits bounce in an attractive manner, etc.

    I'd seductively beg him to cum, promising that I'm on birth control and moaning that all I want is to feel his load inside me. Naturally, a smart man like him wouldn't believe a word of that, so I'd pretend to agree that finishing him off in my mouth is the best plan. I'd give him a fairly decent blowjob, too...making sure to get both his balls in my mouth at some point, doing the hand twisty thing, deepthroating, the works. As soon as he was about 2.5 seconds from cumming, I would roughly shove three fingers into his asshole sans warning and push hard on his perineum. I'm going for anal fissures here. Hopefully, this would ruin his orgasm (although I'm undoubtedly really wet at this point). If not, though, I'd spit his semen all over his glasses OR into his ears. Not sure yet.

    Then, since he's still tied up, I'd invite Rahm Emmanuel to turn off the video camera from his position in the conveniently-located closet nearby and come fuck me. Rove would then watch as I let Rahm get it any way he wants. After Rahm blows his load inside me, I'll sit on Rove's face and rub my clit on his stupid piggy nose until I cum and subsequently blow Rahm's load out of my vagina and into Rove's gasping, waiting mouth.

    The videotape blackmailing process would undoubtedly give me a second orgasm, so this seems like a win-win for me.


    EDIT: Oops, forgot about the "why" portion of the focus. But isn't it obvious? He mobilized the most ignorant voting block in America to date. He gave actual idiots a platform and a megaphone. He is the reason political discourse is peppered with headaches for most intelligent voters/policy wonks today. Also, he just plain sucks.
     
  8. AlmostGaunt

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    And why am I so turned on?
     

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  9. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Elizabeth Hasselback. She is quite possibly the stupidest woman on TV and I hate her entirely. Just lasso her hair and scream YOU WERE A FUCKING SURVIVOR CONTESTANT, BITCH! TAKE THIS DICK AND CONTINUE BEING NOBODY LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO!!!!
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    Well if this is the place to vent our political frustrations without penalty. I'd knock the dust off Dianne Feinstein's hypocritical gun grabbing septuagenarian snatch. Probably lube up with some Hoppe's #9. It might sting a bit if she still has feeling in that extremity. Also, Rachel Maddow's dyke ass would be in the corner going ass to ass with Arianna "I thieve writers' work and have the most annoying accent ever" Huffington with a 30 round banana clip with a ball gags in their smug annoying mouths. CUNTS.


    Am I doing it right?


    In less political and more realistic terms. I'd hate fuck the shit out of the porn star Jesse Jane. I mean can that women even try and NOT look like she's a fucking bitch? She always has a look on her face like she's doing you a huge favor by fucking you and you better believe you aren't pleasuring her. Probably just pound away and scream at her that her god damn nipples are WEIRD and and to wipe that fucking look off her face you god damned busted egg yolk nippled bitch.
     
  11. jordan_paul

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    Anti-Focus: I hate fucked my girlfriend once. I had a bad week at work so I went over to her place on Saturday night and not but a minute in the door I grabbed her arm, led her to her bedroom, ripped her pants down and threw her on the bed with her ass up as I was taking mine off. As soon as I was in her I fucked her like a mad man thinking of how I want to kill some of my coworkers for a solid 15 minutes. That was also 15 minutes of my balls swinging down and slapping against her vagina. Close to the end of that 15 minutes the pain got so bad that I had to stop having sex. She got off and I didn't which is kind of ironic. My balls were bruised the next day and it was kind of hard to walk.

    So words of advice: hate fucking isn't all it's cracked up to be.
     
  12. bewildered

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    Hard fucking isn't the same as hate fucking.
     
  13. Nom Chompsky

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    Note: When I started this thread, I was clearly asking for it (rimshot (wait what)), but let's keep the blatant politico mongering to a minimum, please.

    Obviously, some of it's going to bleed in (wut), but let's stick to attacking assholes (hi) for being assholes and not for their political parties.
     
  14. Rush-O-Matic

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    Yeah, that would show him. Um, I don't suppose you hate me, do you?

    I think I'm too old and cynical to hate fuck anybody anymore. I did hate fuck my ex-girlfriend's roommate in college, similar to IWSJ's scenario. Although, she wasn't ugly. Lousy kisser, but not ugly.
     
  15. lust4life

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    I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bunny.
     
  16. Parker

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    I'd hate fuck my old boss at the Onion. I worked my ass off at the job, mostly for the sake it was 100% commission and I liked to do a few fancy things like pay my rent and eat 3 meals a day. She constantly gave me attitude and talked to me like I was a complete idiot. Even my victories weren't good enough for her. Since she was sexy as shit, all the old blue-collared bar owners would respond differently to her than me and she'd take that as me not trying. I was on the verge of saying SORRY I DON'T HAVE ASS AND TITTIES YOU STUPID CUNT.

    She was from Denver and loved to ski, so I would hate fuck her on top of a snowmobile in surrounded by snow. I'd have her butt ass naked as it snowing hard. Every time she's complain about the temperature I'd spank her with the office phone cord and say "Is the phone ringing enough for you? Am I calling enough people you dirty bitch?" And if she was about to come, I'd pull out, throw her out in the snow and say "Sorry, they canceled the meeting, no ad sales today" and start over again. Every thrust would be me spanking her with the latest edition of the Onion while choking her from behind and if she said anything about not breathing I'd blame the fact she smoked a pack a day. She literally smoked a pack a day, but fuck if I went out to get a coffee, oh lord. I'd then come in her ear, hair, and eyes then drive off leaving her in the middle of a blizzard and driver her beautiful silver stick Audi into a caribou.
     
  17. JWags

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    You might end up dead, but I think it would probably be worth it for 5 min or so.

    FOCUS: Sammi from Jersey Shore. She's a miserable whiny bitch who derailed entire seasons with petty bullshit. Yes yes, she would do nicely. If only to shut her the fuck up for awhile...

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Misanthropic

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    Ms. Lupinski, my 8th grade geometry teacher. She was a sharp-tongued bitch in a hair net, but man, she could shake those hips as she strode the classroom in her orthopedic shoes and sexy cardigan sweaters.

    I'd cram an apple in her mouth, then bend her over her desk, lift that ankle-length skirt up to her waist, and give her the 'ole Archimedes screw from behind, while I tickled her ass with a protractor, screaming "Square this hypotenuse, bitch!", and "I've got your right circular cylinder right here!". Fuck, yeah.
     
  19. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Focus: I would hatefuck one of my old professors. I had him for the American Lit course everyone in my major was required to take and I hate the type of stuff we read in that class but as soon as I walked through the door on the first day I was relived because at least I would have the hottest professor I had ever seen. Turned out the guy was an asshole. He was one of those professors that looked down at us with disdain because, even though we were Freshmen we weren't as smart as him with his two Master's degrees. He belittled us all the time and would write the most scathing comments on our essays. Whenever he'd sit there lecturing he'd have that douchey half-smirk guys get when they're just so fucking pleased with their brilliance as they're speaking. I think he was only in his late twenties/early thirties, but according to gossip, he still hung out in the bars in the college kid neighborhood and I just know exactly the type of girls he was there looking to pick up and exactly how he did it. He drove me crazy. But, oh god, would I still love to bang him on a desk. Or in the library. He wouldn't get head, though. I just can't bring myself to give guys like that head.

    Alt-Focus: I've hate fucked my ex boyfriend multiple times, but I don't think he realized what was happening. I think he thought it was just extra passionate/good. Although, there had to have been a few times when it was obvious because it was basically this:



    without weapons.
     
    #19 audreymonroe, Oct 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. madamsquirrel

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    I had this type of relationship with my ex-husband even before the split.

    **Bad side effect: In my second marriage, every time we got in a fight I would get horny and want sex. My husband, not so much.