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I wish Wally Cleaver was my brother when I was growing up.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ec88, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    My sister used to pinch using only the tips of her fingernails. While it was pretty easy to get away in the middle of a fight, it was almost impossible to guess when she would randomly decide to pinch you for no reason. At close range, it hurts like hell.

    To get back at her, I would wait until she had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, then I would stand right outside the door and stand stock-still right in her range of vision. I got her on the way into the bathroom one night, and she actually peed her pants. It was pretty amazing.
     
  2. JoshP

    JoshP
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    I have 3 brothers, 2 older and 1 younger.

    -One time my oldest brother was putting a shirt on, I slapped him in the chest, as i was running away and getting to my room he kicked me in the small of the back and i face planted into my door frame. It hurt, but i didn’t break anything.

    -I lifted my younger brother out of the pool by his board shorts.

    -Countless amounts of wrestling matches where shit would get broken, I wish i had a digital camera for one of them. One time all 4 of us were wrestling and i shoved my older brother down, he tripped and put a hole the size of his back in the wall. What did we do? We hung a poster to cover it, it was not centered, on a blank wall, and about 4 feet from the ground. That lasted about 3 mins before my dad looked behind it. To this day we said our youngest brother attacked us with a rolling pin and the hole was a result of us trying to subdue him.

    -One Halloween my 2 older brothers and I egged the shit out of our youngest brother and his friends. Using a 3 person water balloon launcher we hit my brother right in the dick with an egg. Our response while he was writhing in pain, "man up pussy, it's not like it was hard boiled."

    -One spring break in Cancun, my oldest brother threw me into a mini palm tree, ripping my shirt, and slicing my chest open (not deep just shallow lacerations) It looked like I tried to fight a jaguar.

    I had 3 fucking brothers, I could write a whole thread on this. These are just the first ones that come to mind.
    I think that is what I loved about the movie Just Friends, was the brother to brother interaction, because that's how my house was.
     
  3. eric

    eric
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    I'm the oldest of the family, 4 years older than my sister and 10 older than my brother. My sister took the brunt of my pranks and general douchebaggery. Much of it was just scaring the crap out of her at every opportunity, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom and screaming in her ear.

    A few things do stand out in my mind, however. On one occasion, I took an Oreo cookie and gently pried it apart. Using my finger, I made a small depression in the icing which I then filled with Tabasco sauce. I reassembled the cookie and then promptly went to my sister to give her my gift. She naively accepted it and took one big bite. The change in her facial expression was classic.

    Once, she fell asleep in a chair in our family room. I thought it would be funny to cover her up so I went and got just about every blanket in the house and layered blanket on top of blanket. When I was done there was this mound of blankets, with only her face being visible at the end of this hole. Within about 15 minutes her face became beet red and drops of perspiration started trickling down her face. By the time she woke up and dug herself out, her clothes were sticking to her.

    Finally, my sister was deeply traumatized by the movie Gremlins. Nightmares, the whole bit. Shortly after she had seen the movie my mother, sister and myself were heading to go somewhere. We were in the car in the garage and about to leave when my mother realized she had forgotten something in the house. She leaves us in the car. So we're waiting and waiting until the garage door opener light automatically shuts off, and it is dark. I realize what's going on but my sister didn't and she asks "What happened?". I see my opportunity and start in with "I don't know. Don't gremlins make things like that happen? What's that? Did you see that?!? Right there, next to the car!!!! OH MY GOD ITS A GREMLIN!!!!! LOCK YOUR DOOR! LOCK YOUR DOOR!"

    By the time my mom comes back out, my sister is in complete hysterics in the back seat. All I kept saying was "I didn't touch her".
     
  4. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    I'm an only child, and after reading this thread I'm only more grateful for it.

    I do, however, have four cousins that were born the same year as I was. We're the oldest batch of kids within our generation, which meant that whenever I was staying at one of their houses we were the 'older siblings.'

    My favourite cousin, whom I'll call Matt, has a younger sister who I'll call Kim. Kim was a spoiled little shit. She was her mother's favourite and could do NO WRONG in my aunt's eyes. To this day Kim gets all of the attention and the bulk of the funds within her family. Had a kid out of wedlock? No problem - Mom and Dad will shoulder that burden. Dropped out of high school? That's fine...we'll use your college fund to buy you a house. And so on.

    The best times growing up were when Matt and I would exact some kind of revenge on Kim. It worked well, especially when she was young and stupid. My favourite thing to do was to climb into the loft of their barn (with Matt), and Kim made sure to follow because she refused to leave us alone. Matt and I would hide on either side of the loft door and wait for her to get up the ladder and start wandering around the loft to see where we were. Then, we'd slide down the ladder and pull it away from the door. Instant freedom from the little snot for however many hours we felt like being left alone.
     
  5. Maltob14

    Maltob14
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    I'll second the toe/knuckle cracking. I do that to my brother all the time. But my favourite thing used to be waiting till my parents were asleep and then beating my brother. I told him that if he made the slightest peep then my parents would wake up, hate him and disown him for being such an inconsiderate and terrible child. I'd beat the little fucker for a good 15 minutes and he would sit there without making a sound. The kid was a trooper, he'd take a two handed nipple twist without even flinching.
     
  6. Harry Coolahan

    Harry Coolahan
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    Anti-Focus: This doesn't seem to be the norm, but my sister and I have gotten along great all our lives (she is younger by 3.5 years). I've been trying to think of a funny example of when either of us would fuck with the other, and there have of course been instances but nothing that really jumps to mind.

    I never had a strong father figure when I was growing up, so I decided early on that it was my responsibility to help raise her. I think I made that decision when I was around 10 years old, and since then I've done everything I could to support her. It's gotten to the point where my parents come to me to help reason with her, since she is a lot likelier to listen to what I have to say. I gave her her first laptop, iPod, camera, etc, taught her to drive, and told my parents that I'll take care of paying for her college tuition. I've basically tried to do everything for her that our parents don't do for us (i.e., didn't do for me at her age). She's one of the only people I trust and I would literally kill for her. God help any guy who treats her poorly.

    And it's all paying off, because this year she started playing wingman for me and hooking me up with her hot 18-year old friends.