Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

I want to job of Cock Washer: The job search help thread.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kubla Kahn, Oct 14, 2016.

  1. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    How much do y'all take into consideration online reviews of employers through Glassdoor, etc.? Suppose you're seeing a lot of poor reviews and one star ratings coming in recently for the corporate culture of a prospective employer when there's overall positive reviews for others- is this much of a red flag or blown out of proportion with selective bias?
     
    #41 katokoch, Mar 17, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
  2. downndirty

    downndirty
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    481
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,386
    I would take Glassdoor reviews seriously, especially if they mention details.

    My last company got positively wrecked on the reviews because they deserved it and fucked over new employees like it was "casting couch".

    That said, if the review looks like it was written by a teenage troll...
     
  3. bebop007

    bebop007
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    57
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
    Messages:
    690
    Location:
    Chicago
    I definitely check out reviews on Glassdoor, if possible. What can be challenging is trying to find reviews related to a particular field/group within a company. If I can only find marketing department/finance department reviews, that may indicate what the overall company atmosphere is like, but maybe not how things are in the accounting group, let's say. I applied for a job at a company one of my good friends works at. She loves the company and raves about it constantly, but when I mentioned applying for an accounting gig she was encouraging but dropped plenty of caveats about the stress level of that group and how frantic it could be. I would love to find a situation where I could bring up Glassdoor reviews in an interview just to see what the HR Folks/Department Heads say in response, though. I don't think it would prevent me from interviewing, at the very least, but definitely good ammunition for the "Do you have any questions" part of the interview.

    Typically, though, whenever I read reviews I'll stick to reading the 2, 3, 4 star reviews since those tend to be a little more thought out. I figure the 5 star ones are liars/morons/shills and the 1 star reviews are morons/disgruntled.
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    711
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,298
    Funny as my last job was taken over by the same company that owns Glassdoor. We had to sign an agreement, to receive severance, to not to talk trash about the company or otherwise dissuade anyone from joining the company in the future. I took it to mean no posting on Glassdoor.

    You can usually tell when it's someone bitter or of it's just hard truth. A lot of places will push fake glowing reviews which always set off my radar. Fairly useful site but it is a judgement call and people do tend to only remember the negatives. I usually try to figure out if the place is a meat grinder with high turn over more than anything else.
     
    #44 Kubla Kahn, Mar 17, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
  5. AFHokie

    AFHokie
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    282
    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2010
    Messages:
    1,447
    Location:
    Manassas, VA
    That doesn't surprise me when it's part of an improv class's description:

    Does "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" make you laugh? More importantly, does it look like something you'd like to try? Not only is improvisational comedy fun to watch, it's fun and easy to do. And improv isn't just for actors: anyone -- from teachers to corporate trainers to anyone wanting to build stronger teams -- can benefit from the collaborative art of improv comedy. All it takes is an understanding of the basics of improv. This is the course where you'll learn them. You'll also learn a number of games you can play just about anywhere, learn how to develop scenes and create characters within seconds, and learn exercises to help create "group mind" to better work and act together.
     
  6. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    711
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,298
    I mean if the resume is light, would adding a hobby like that really be a negative?
     
  7. downndirty

    downndirty
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    481
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,386
    Fuck it, I'll try it.

    I'm done with my current job. I'm in sales for a start-up, been in grad school for the last two years. I am finished with my MBA this weekend, and ready to move on from my current company/boss.

    I've been in business development, account management, sales and partnerships for a pair of software companies the past two years one medium sized ($40m) and one tiny start up at maybe $1m/year (currently). My issue with my current gig is I'm in sales, and there is no pricing strategy. Why do we charge one company $75k/year and one company $24k/year? No answer. Also, I'm an introvert and my boss needs someone that can gladhand and work a room (NOT IT). Every deal I've brought in is bigger than the last, and now that size deal is the expectation. Ok, and I'm doing my best, but I'd like to bring in a more diverse set of deals and span a market instead of only chasing boom-or-bust enterprise deals. Basically, I'm sick of no direction and shitty benefits.

    Questions:
    1. Any of you Idiots care to proof a resume for me?
    2. How do you explain you're willing to relocate (because, seriously....fuck Baltimore) without sounding desperate or ignorant?
    3. What's a good mid-step between sales and an actual job?
    4. I was told to get a PMP cert, as well as learning to code Python, and looking at a Six Sigma black belt. Any other qualifications I should consider to make myself stand out?
    5. If I'm learning to code, should I start with Python or is there a better language to look at initially?
     
  8. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,391
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,434
    Location:
    Boston
    Sure - feel free to PM me your resume. I know a few others here that would be good to take a peek also.

    2) You dont have to explain anything about relocating. If youre applying in another city and you tell them you're from Baltimore, they'll do the math. If they ask you, just say "yes," and if they ask "why?" then just make up some bullshit that you like where the company is or you have family near there or something.

    3) You could do market research or do business development that doesnt involve the sales aspect. Reviewing/responding to RFPs, doing the finances of how margin/realization is understood, etc.

    4) PMP cert couldnt hurt, but like your MBA, what do you want to do with it? PMP isnt easy and you should have a direction before bothering to do it. Similar question with Six Sigma. Plus if you want to do something like BD or pseudo-sales, you dont really need a Six Sigma unless specifically required. But again, you have your MBA and even if its from a just "ok" school, it should help to rebrand you. The certs you should get depends on what you want to do and if you qualify, a lot of time they required field experience. For instance, you cant just go get a Series 7 or a CFA if you want one.

    5) Ill let the more dev-centric people here answer this one intelligently, but who knows, maybe start with C++ or Java in code academy?
     
  9. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    711
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,298
    So whats the protocol when you have a friend working at the company, in the same overall department, that is currently interviewing you? There is a pretty clear bonus reward for the referral program for him, which he technically didn't, I found it on my own but I'd be willing to list him since I know the guy pretty well. This is for a fairly decent paying white collar job for one of the biggest corporations on earth. He's only texted me some generalities about the job and having a meeting with the guy Id be working under sometime in the next week or so. He hasn't responded to any suggestions of me sending him my resume or taking a phone calls to talk about it in more detail than text provides. Im not sure if he's being cautious because huge corporations are covering their ass lawsuit wise? I mean all you ever hear is "network network network" and "it's not what you know it's who you know." What would be the best approach to get my friend to help me get a foot in the door?
     
  10. Improper

    Improper
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    129
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    470
    Kubla, I think that you take him for a coffee or a beer asap, and you reconnect. No amount of texting will top that personal connection.
     
  11. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,391
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,434
    Location:
    Boston
    Suck his dick then throw up on it. That'll loosen him up.
     
  12. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    711
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,298
    I mean his wife is really hot, kind of always wanted him to be a cuck into letting dudes bone her. None of that fun stuff happens here in the midwest.

    Ill see what I can do about a personal meet up with him. His going out had dropped off near totally when he had his first kid and they just had their second like a week ago.
     
  13. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,870
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    25,796
    An internal personal recommendation is worth everything. Huge differentiator for the potential pile of paper they're sorting through.
     
  14. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,870
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    25,796
    The only downside is if you're a fuckhead and he doesn't want to recommend you and ruin his reputation.

    I know I've refused to recommemd or hire people for that reason.
     
  15. Tim

    Tim
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    56
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    310
    I would be cautious if he hasn't volunteered to do this of his own volition. But perhaps asking him for a meeting might get him to explain his position. Just don't try to force it.
     
  16. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    711
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,298
    Welp, too late. Had an interview with some people in Budapest this morning. Already got my rejection letter for this job. My guess is he wasn't invovled enough with the department I was interviewing for to be super comfortable reccomending anyone or was waiting to recommend me once I got to the round of interviews at his offices.

    Back to the drawling board as Ive had 16+ interviews since Ive been laid off. My resume gets through various job type filters, I dazzle the first HR contact, then get turned down for candidates that "better fit the skillset needed" when I interview with anyone with knowledge of the job skillset needed for the position. I still really don't know what I want to even do in continued education or job paths. Ughhhh...
     
    #56 Kubla Kahn, Aug 2, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2017
  17. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,309
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,148
    Maybe they're looking for somebody with better spelling and punctuation skills.