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I want to job of Cock Washer: The job search help thread.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kubla Kahn, Oct 14, 2016.

  1. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    I recently got downsized at my company and am in the job hunt. Since this comes up frequently enough I figured we could use a help thread devoted to job seekers. It is a stressful ever changing mess finding new work and we have some very helpful and insightful posters on here. This will be moved to the permanent section once we have get going.

    I have two questions first:


    As far as linkedin, which seems the standard resume delivery system these days, Ive seen people eliminate their college years/graduation I guess to avoid agism. In the same vain, if you lost your job would it be a similar tactic not to change your status of employement until you find new work? Sort of retroactively adjust it? Too deceiving?

    The big one, salary negotiations and expectations. Honestly Ive changed marketing fields enough Im not really sure what the average pay is for someone with my experience. I think I tend to shoot low so that if Im not qualified they don't have salary as a reason to ax me before I can show value to the company. Unfortunatly I couldn't find a glassdoor salary quote today for the same position and company I had an interview for. I quoted a semi low figure as to not scare them off. Anyone work in HR and get give the low down on salary/wages in terms of interviews?
     
  2. Juice

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    1) Downsizing/Resource Actions are a common occurrence, so unless you got out-right fired for something you seriously fucked up or did wrong, theres no reason to lie or be deceitful about it. No one worth working for is going think less of you for being laid off. It happens.

    2) Salary negotiation tactics are industry dependent. I would shoot high and meet them in the middle. If you low ball yourself, then you'll be undervalued. Unfortunately, trying to find a job while unemployed doesnt give you much room for negotiation as they will know you need them more than they need you. I would market your skills and your value honestly, and give yourself a 10% bump on your previous salary when you discuss it with them. Unless its a completely absurd number, if you're a good fit they will either accept or counter-offer.
     
  3. zzr

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    If I saw a resume without a graduation date I would almost certainly skip that person. I would assume that they're hiding something. I'm an engineering manager though, so I want to know as many facts as possible before I moved forward. It may not make a difference either way; I just want to know.

    Also, be sure to spellcheck your resume and anything you send to someone. Have someone knowledgeable proofread it if possible. I wouldn't disqualify someone for a typo, but all other things being roughly equal, I'm going to take the person who made no errors in their correspondence over anyone else.
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    See I did keep my graduation date on the resume I send out. On linkedin Ive removed it along with my HS graduation date. A lot of big companies, around me at least, seem to want to hire extremely young, part of wanting to seem like a young up and coming company. A lot of entry and mid level jobs will be filled with people 22-30. Ive not put together a solid work history of continual advancement and don't want to be looked over for roles that could be below me at least age wise.
     
  5. Kubla Kahn

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    So on cover letters if you don't know the job posters name how would you address it to the hr department? Is taking a guess based on LinkedIn profiles, say a small company or head of hr based locally a good idea over addressing it to the entire department?
     
  6. Juice

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    "To Whom It May Concern"
     
  7. bewildered

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    I used to put "Dear hiring manager"

    Is that bad?
     
  8. Nettdata

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    Better than "Deer-hiring manager..."
     
  9. Kubla Kahn

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    I feel like this is an opener to a passive aggressive note you leave in an apartment complex laundry room. Anything more professional sounding?

    Please advise.
     
  10. Nettdata

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    I've always been taught that this is the proper, respectful, "business" opener to use in such cases.

    Fuck the laundry room idiots.
     
  11. Revengeofthenerds

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    I just got finished calling on about two dozen applications. Why in the world would anyone decide to be rude to the person calling to setup an interview? You really can't hold back the "eat shit and die" attitude for a five minute conversation?

    Sometimes I am amazed at the stupidity I see (and hear). For the love of god, please don't misspell your own name.

    ... Oh, and in regard to cover letters, a simple "To Whom it May Concern" works very well. Same thing with "Sincerely" and "Regards" when ending it. I can't say it as a blanked statement for everyone who hires, but I don't put too much weight into cover letters. They're a nice introduction, but the only time I care about them is if they give me extra info (or if they are clearly a form letter; try to make that not obvious please). The way you talk with me over the phone means a hell of a lot more, how knowledgeable you are, your sense of humor, if you're friendly and bubbly. Please don't say "I'm sorry I applied a lot of places what type of position is this again?"

    I swear people have just lost the ability to simply communicate. To hold a basic conversation. Please no politics during the interview. Please no religion. Please do not show up to the first day of orientation wearing an "I Can't Breathe" t-shirt. I wish I was joking. Common sense isn't very common these days unfortunately.
     
  12. Rush-O-Matic

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    +1
     
  13. Trakiel

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    On the other hand, I never paid attention to graduation dates. More important to me were certification dates since I was in IT; if your cert was over 6 years old I'd want to know that you kept your skills up to date. I think you should keep the graduation date in any case because someone like me who didn't care about it naturally didn't care that lots of people kept it. The most important thing is to keep stuff like whether or not you're going to include dates consistent. The worst thing is to include some dates but not others because it makes your resume look haphazard and unprofessional.

    This is very important. Having a resume with spelling and grammatical errors makes you look like you don't care. And if you don't care about wanting the job, then I don't care about considering you for it.
     
  14. Nettdata

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    And send it it a global format. I always send it in PDF.

    Do not assume that everyone can read your Microsoft Word document... I know for a long time I was running Mac and Linux and specifically asked for an RTF or PDF version of resumes, and people would still send me a Word doc.

    Never even opened the file... if you can't follow that kind of easy direction, I'm making the assumption that you have shit attention to detail and therefore are not going to be a good fit for my team.
     
  15. Trakiel

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    I second this and want to add that you should do this even if the company you're applying to requires you to complete an online application/resume. Some of the software that's used for this is so fucking god-awful that the reviewer will want to refer to your resume anyway because the online application is completely illegible.
     
  16. Tim

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    I don't remember where I got this but I was taught to use "Dear Sir or Madam:" and not To Whom It May Concern.
     
  17. Nettdata

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    DID YOU JUST ASSUME THEIR GENDER!?!?!?
     
  18. Tim

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    Yes, just put "Dear Sir" because if it's a woman you don't want the job.

    No, you literally put "Dear Sir or Madam." If you don't know, you don't know but you're still trying to be respectful.
     
  19. MobyDuk

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    "On linkedin Ive (sic) removed . . . my HS graduation date."

    If you graduated college, nobody cares about your high school glory days.


    "if you lost your job would it be a similar tactic not to change your status of employement (sic) until you find new work? Sort of retroactively adjust it? Too deceiving?"

    Never, ever, lie on your resume (or in an interview.) At the least, you will be fired when, not if, you are found out. In these days of the intarweb (sic intended), almost anything can be found out.


    Also, please see the advice above re spell check and/or someone to edit your resume.

    Good hunting!
     
  20. toytoy88

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