I'm not a big fan of reality TV. Sure when Survivor first hit I watched but I lost interest pretty early on. The only reality TV show I watch on a regular basis is Deadliest Catch. From Tuckers blog: Now as much as I love the show there is no way in fucking pig flying, froze over hell I would get on one of those boats. Like I said in the shows thread I do think it's cool he gets to meet them and hang out though. FOCUS:If you could step into any reality show and take over as one of the people in the show which show would you choose? Who would you choose to step in as? And why? Also like I said in the shows thread, leave the Tucker bashing out of it. It's been over a year folks, move on.
I would definitely be The Chick That Everyone Wants To Get With on The Real World. Really, who wouldn't? You get to spend 6 months living on TV, hooking up with whoever you want, and being wasted from 10AM to 2AM every single day. Afterwards, you can cash out by going on a public speaking tour of colleges to talk about something you really don't know that much about, like gender identity. Failing that, I'd be the fifth dude on The Buried Life. If I went around asking people to spend time, money, and effort to help me accomplish my most self-indulgent dreams just because I said so, they'd laugh their asses off at me. But apparently if I get a few other dudes to do the same thing, drive around in a huge bus, and have a hair & makeup crew following me around, it could work.
Rick from Pawn Stars. It's amazing how much he knows about so many different things. And he's charismatic enough that even when he royally screws someone out of a bunch of money they walk away smiling.
I'd have to second this. This is the only reality show I can think of that I've watched, and I got to agree with the above poster.
Fastball, right down the middle. I'd be Super Nanny, so I could punch every single one of those stupid, spoiled, snot-nosed brats right in the fucking nose.
Dr. Drew on Celebrity rehab without a doubt. Oh, the why. I think it would be interesting to talk to people who have made their living being a personality and finding out what makes them tick. Also, I'm thinking of getting into substance abuse counseling and think it would be educational.
Real Chance at Love. Like anyone would actually pick one where they didn't either win a lot of cash or bang every fame clinger on the show. LIARS! Well at least itd be a step up in quality from the usual ghetto trash ho's I be bangin.
Do we get be ourseves again after? Because after being Bret Michaels on The Rock of Love and banging every stripper on the show 3 at a time, I'd like to lose the herpes.
One of the teenagers on Luke's Parental Advisory. O, to start over with a famous, funny-ass dad, piles of family cash, and porn lying around everywhere.
Adam Richman on Man vs Food. I know Im stretching the definition of "reality show", but why not? The guy gets to go around to all the best food places, make a couple of corny one-liners, and fucking pig out and get paid for it. Sounds like a pretty nice gig to me. that or: The camera guy on COPS. The awesomeness of this one is self-evident.
Bourdains gig would be better. World food/travel > US pig outs. Focus: Any dude on the Real World. Frylock mentioned he'd want to be the chick who everyone wants. Why? Any dude on that show pulls just as much ass on the show and after, plus you don't have to deal with womanly things and you'll still be good at sports. Any person on Wipeout. That would be fun as hell to do.
Some of the good ones have already mentioned and my favorite would definitely be the Man vs. Food guy. I love nothing more than trying new foods and getting paid to go all over and eat interesting food would be amazing. The food challenges not so much though. Aside from those though, I think it would be a blast to be one of the psychiatrists they use on Intervention. Watching junkies and their insane responses to things would be so much fun. Plus, as the man in charge, you have carte blanche to talk down to people and yell at them. I would bring whatever they are addicted to to the intervention, put it at the end of some sort of obstacle, and mock their addiction mercilessly until they break down and accept treatment. Also, I wish I could have seen this firsthand:
Adam Richman eats and eats and eats. How many times do you think he's puked or had the shits as a result of what, and how much, he eats? See the episode with the hot wings? The one that the cook had a fucking mask on while preparing them? He just sniffed them and his eyes started to water. No fucking thank you. Not to mention being semi-premenatly glued to a shitter. Anthony B has to eat weird shit all the time. Half of which he does not even recognize and has to be identified my his travel host. Again, no thanks. I'll stay away from the steamed lamb brain. Oh what's that? There's a sauce. Thank God. Too bad the base is boiled chicken feet and cow balls. Ick. I'd do Guys gig with Diner, Drive-ins and Dives. He gets to drive cool cars, meet cool people and eat all kinds of good food. The only bad thing I've seen him try to eat (other than eggs because he doesn't like them) is a boiled pigs ear burger with mustard and nothing else. *shiver* The look on his face was classic though, as the large black lady that was the cook practically shoved it in his mouth once he had it close enough. I might watch too much Food&Travel Channel. Shut up.
I was thinking the same thing as long as I could have Adam's personality instead of Guy's... so basically it would be man v food without the challenges. Wait, he doesn't like EGGS? He hosts a show where the first word is diners and he doesn't like fucking eggs? I never knew that about him and I've seen more of that show than I probably should.
That's my answer, but for different reasons. I'd take Guy Fieri's place so I could get away with being an obnoxious shithead on TV. I'd also enjoy getting paid entirely too much to walk around with sunglasses on the back of my goddamn head.
Call me old fashioned, but I rather enjoy a good session on the ol' throne. Now if it comes out something akin to water through a loose nozzle on a garden hose, then I understand. But still, if thats the worst part of your job is the occasional runs, sign me up. Yeah, not a big fan of Bourdain, but that food he eats is nothing on what Andrew Zimmer throws down. As long as I dont have to bleach my hair and grow a chin strap, this gig wouldnt be bad. And you can never watch too much Travel Channel or Food Channel.
Futureweapons, hands down. "What's that? Oh, we're going to be shooting 500,000 rounds out of a minigun from a helicopter today? Well, let me finish up testing this new laser-guided silent rpg and we'll get right on that. Maybe later I'll burst some watermelons from a mile away with a $15,000 sniper rifle. I hear it shoots a bullet that searches for its target's soul."
I can change just one thing about your post. I'd be Bruce Jenner, so I could punch every single one of those stupid, spoiled, snot-nosed brats right in the fucking nose.