Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

I twisted my ankle, but at least I killed a shark

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kratos, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. Kratos

    Kratos
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    812
    Location:
    St. Paul, MN
    From this article.

    Dragan Stevic of Serbia is the new Egyptian hero who killed a large shark which had previously terrorized numerous tourists (injured 4 and killed 1) at the famous Egyptian resort Sarm El Sheikh.

    The Serbian hero was too drunk to remember what had happened, though one of his friends who witnessed the incident explained it all for the Belgrade based media.
    Dragan Stevic was dubbed by the Egyptian media as "Shark El Sheikh" and thanked him for saving their tourist season.

    Milovan Ubirapa, one of Stevic’s friend who witnessed the incident explained that Dragan had decided to go to the beach for a swim after a long night of drinking. As Dragan and his friends approached the beach, he saw a fairly high positioned jumping board utilized earlier in the day by divers.

    “Dragan climbed on the jumping board, told me to hold his beer and simply ran to jump. There was no time for me to react or to try to stop him, he just went for it” says Milovan.
    “Dragan jumped high and plunged down to the sea, but didn’t make as much splash as we thought he would”, explained Milovan.

    The reason could be because Dragan Stevic ended up jumping straight on the shark which was lurking near the beach, probably looking for its next victim. Dragan had nailed it right in the head, killing it instantly. The Egyptian police found the shark washed out on the beach that morning (pictured above).

    Dragan was able to swim to the shore and told his friends he had twisted his ankle, telling them the water was not that soft.
    The water is soft buddy, you just landed on a shark. At the moment, the fearless hero is in a hospital recovering from alcohol poisoning. After Dragan gets well, he will get a chance to have some more drinks as the resort had awarded the Serb tourist with a free vacation for his heroic deed. // Pero Stamatovski


    FOCUS: What badass things have you done completely on accident (drunk = bonus points)? Did you find a remedy for a hangover by pounding a bottle of maple syrup? Tell us your unusual successes that would normally result in total failure.
     
  2. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
    Expand Collapse
    The White

    Reputation:
    23
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,574
    I don't have much, but occasionally my brother will go to Vegas, get blackout drunk, and wake up in a hotel (sometimes his) the next morning up several hundred dollars. I can't win sober.
     
  3. Solaris

    Solaris
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2010
    Messages:
    409
    Location:
    Belfast, Ireland
    Sadly the article was posted on Reddit and quickly found to be fake, still, awesome story.
     
  4. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    324
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,690
    Location:
    Minnesota
    And to think how believable it was that a 15 foot shark would be killed by jumping on its head...

    There was an uncle who wrestled a shark to shore though (granted only a 7 footer) after it bit off his nephew's arm. That was pretty badass.
     
  5. Diablo

    Diablo
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    5
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,608
    Location:
    Armpit, NC
    True: http://articles.cnn.com/2001-07-19/...ospital-jessie-arbogast-shark-attack?_s=PM:US

    Man wrestled a shark off his nephew, dragged it by its tail to shore, then him and a Ranger pried it's mouth open, then ultimately shot it in the head. The kid's arm got bitten off, but reattached later. Badass Mofo.
     
  6. Volo

    Volo
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    41
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2009
    Messages:
    725
    That kid is going to get laid a lot with a story like that. Either that, or he'll be so traumatized that he'll end up a shut-in.

    http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/10/24/1066631598678.html

    Another shark story, wholly unbelievable, but entertaining nonetheless.

    FOCUS: Used to go cliff-jumping all the time at a kick ass lake in Northern Manitoba. Real deep water, and some really excellent jumps. Well, I was psyching myself up to make a high jump, and I slipped, tumbling right off the cliff and falling over 50 feet to the water. According to the group watching from below at the fire pit, it was a double somersault that looked really cool. Got lucky that the cliff was an overhang. Got a lot of cheers when I got back to the surface.
     
  7. Lasersailor

    Lasersailor
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    225
    Not to be Debby Downer, but that kid lost so much blood that he should have died. Instead he lives with a barely functioning brain and the has trouble performing basic human functions. ( <a class="postlink" href="http://m.pnj.com/news.jsp?key=210678&p=3" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://m.pnj.com/news.jsp?key=210678&p=3</a> )
     
  8. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    132
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    1,926
    Location:
    In a flyover state hoping your plane crashes
     
    #8 Danger Boy, Dec 20, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. BrotherNumberOne

    BrotherNumberOne
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    104
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    John C Reilley once wrestled a giraffe to the ground with his bare hands...
     
    #9 BrotherNumberOne, Dec 21, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. benny lava

    benny lava
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    65
    Shifting focus a little bit, but...

    Hugh Glass
    Near the forks of the Grand River in present-day Perkins County, in August 1823, while scouting alone for game for the expedition's larder, Glass surprised a grizzly bear mother with her two cubs. Before he could fire his rifle, the bear charged, picked him up, and threw him to the ground. Glass got up, grappled for his knife, and fought back, stabbing the animal repeatedly as the grizzly raked him time and again with her claws.

    Glass managed to kill the bear with help from his trapping partners, Fitzgerald and Bridger, but was left badly mauled and unable to walk. When Glass lost consciousness, Henry became convinced the man would not survive his injuries.

    Henry asked for two volunteers to stay with Glass until he died, and then bury him. Bridger (then 17 years old) and Fitzgerald stepped forward, and as the rest of the party moved on, began digging his grave. Later claiming that they were interrupted in the task by an attack by "Arikaree" Indians, the pair grabbed Glass's rifle, knife, and other equipment, and took flight.

    Bridger and Fitzgerald incorrectly reported to Henry that Glass had died.

    Despite his injuries, Glass regained consciousness. He did so only to find himself abandoned, without weapons or equipment, suffering from a broken leg, the cuts on his back exposing bare ribs, and all his wounds festering. Glass lay mutilated and alone, more than 200 mi (320 km) from the nearest settlement at Fort Kiowa on the Missouri.

    In one of the more remarkable treks known to history, Glass set his own leg, wrapped himself in the bear hide his companions had placed over him as a shroud, and began crawling. To prevent gangrene, Glass laid his wounded back on a rotting log and let the maggots eat the dead flesh.

    Deciding that following the Grand River would be too dangerous because of hostile Native Americans, Glass crawled overland south toward the Cheyenne River. It took him six weeks to reach it.

    Glass survived mostly on wild berries and roots. On one occasion he was able to drive two wolves from a downed bison calf, and feast on the meat. Reaching the Cheyenne, he fashioned a crude raft and floated down the river, navigating using the prominent Thunder Butte landmark. Aided by friendly natives who sewed a bear hide to his back to cover the exposed wounds, Glass eventually reached the safety of Fort Kiowa.

    After a long recuperation, Glass set out to track down and avenge himself against Bridger and Fitzgerald. When he found Bridger, on the Yellowstone near the mouth of the Bighorn River, Glass spared him, purportedly because of Bridger's youth. When he found Fitzgerald, and discovered that Fitzgerald had joined the United States Army, Glass purportedly restrained himself because the consequence of killing a U.S. soldier was death. However, he did recover his lost rifle.