<a class="postlink" href="http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-your-new-years-resolutions-going-to-fail/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-y ... g-to-fail/</a> New Year's resolutions. Let's have them. Good, bad, funny or sad. Alt Focus: How do you make them stick? How have you made a resolution last until March?
My resolutions are to have more fun with my kids, don't think about work unless I am there, and to manage my time better for completing school assignments. Simple enough.
Agreed. I also resolve to be more positive, learn enough about how my car works that I don't feel like a useless twat when I go to the mechanic, and successfully make a croquembouche.
I'm moving to Colorado in a week, so I resolve to learn how to ski, hunt and fish. And to not become an Avalanche or Broncos fan.
I resolve to do well at school, because if I somehow don't next year I resolve to run into a knife. I resolve to mercilessly mock anybody that turns a serious thought towards to upcoming so-called armageddon. When is this shit happening again? Will it fuck with my summer? Is God in the Pacific time zone? And yeah, try to quit smoking but I don't think I can because smoking is cool.
I'm going to find out why the fuck people give a shit about the end of a mayan calendar. And why they think that the end of a calendar means the end of the world. The end of the Gregorian calendar happens every year in December, and we just survived it, a fucking gain. And seriously, even if the Mayan calendar does have some magical power apart from being easy for over-fed, new age idiots to misunderstand - when was the last time anyone saw an on time Mexican? It'll be at least 2015 before shit goes down. I don't do New Years resolutions. They're set up to fail. Nobody ever sticks to the fucking things and nobody really expects too. I am trying to get to the gym more in the next couple of months. It's not a resolution - and nothing to do with the new year - just in the next week or so - schedule should get more convenient to find time for the gym. And that shit needs to happen.
Resolutions don't really interest me except in that people seem to make them, and then want to pay me money for helping them keep them.
I'm trading in "analog" cigarettes for an e-cigarette and going from smoking to vaping. Yes, I'm still getting the nicotine, but not the smoke. In all my attempts to quit, the biggest challenge I had was the hand-to-mouth deal. Stop at a red light, light up. Answer the phone, light one up, pour a cup of coffee, light one up, blink my eyes, light one up. I've talked to a few people who went the same route and they all raved about it (and they all bought the same brand e-cig). And since it's vapor and not smoke, I can use it anywhere and dial down the nicotine progressively. So, that is my birthday present, and my New Year's decision. It should arrive in a few days and will go into operation on 1/14, after comps are over. Also, for the next 10 days, I'm keeping a journal of everything I eat. Then, I'm going to calculate my caloric intake by food choice and determine what adjustments I need to make and where. I find when I put something in writing, it's more concrete and real and I have an easier time taking ownership of it. I'm gonna get healthy if it kills me.
I'm gonna agree with scootah and say that New Years resolutions are complete shit and stupid. Why do you have to wait for a new year to better yourself. I need to start working out and eating better again. The weight I lost this past summer is back on and I'm way out of shape.
I never do classic New Year's resolutions, but there are a couple things I'm working on that are rather conveniently timed. 1) Not being such a fucking slacker on my volunteer commitments. Not only do I hate being the do-nothing loser in any group, but if I want to get into leadership roles slacking is not going to get me there. Looking good, I just did a couple solid hours of work on this today. 2) Actually getting this little business I've had in my head planned out and started. The major obstacle to this will be BFF, who will be an excellent partner but who has a much crazier schedule than I do. On the plus side, she hates her job and doesn't need a steady income because her husband owns two tech companies (We live in the SF Bay? How did you guess?), but on the minus side, they're trying to have a kid. We'll see. I'm actually going to wait until March to start getting back into yoga. Have to let all the resolution folks give up and clear out some space in the studio dontcha know! And I'm not in pressing need, the bassador is getting a 2-mile speed walk on our lovely SF hills at least once a day from me so I'm not a total lazy sack of crap like I was 2 years ago at this time.
Actually, for the first time in years, I decided to make a 'goal list.' If you want to call it a resolution list, that's fine, but I sat down, went through my life, and decided what I wanted to accomplish with this year. Some things I came up with: Guitar: better my technique, practice with a metronome, increase speed by 20% by March, 40% by June. I took my baselines yesterday, then mapped out where I needed to be by what time to hit my goals. I know the 40% in June may be problematic, because I'm not sure my fingers will ever move that fast, but it's something to shoot for. Lifting: again, better my technique, increase my weights by 20% by March, and 40% by June (I restarted lifting in August, and I started fairly light, so I don't think 40% on most things (except my legs) will actually be impossible or improbable). I also want to increase cardio to three days a week, as I was down to one or two days a week. Quit smoking. Jesus, I'm too old for this shit. Start eating breakfast (yogurt and fruit) three times a week. I did this the summer before last, and holy shit, it made a major difference in how I felt during the morning. I also have a 'focus' one: i.e. be where I am at, and if I'm mentally wandering, either leave where I'm at physically, or return to where I am currently mentally. This is a tough one for me. I am also going to keep a journal to log my progress, and re-evaluate my goals for the year as I go along. I'm actually pretty optimistic about it.
I resolve to: Lose weight Quit smoking Go to bed earlier Drink less Stop saying "I wonder what the poor people are doing today?" Be a better humanitarian Eat healthier Finish my degree Stop at red lights Donate more money to charity Go to church Take a shower daily Walk the dog every day Stop putting porn movies in the video case when I return them to the video store Stop global warming House the homeless Feed the hungry Be nice Fish more Cure cancer Stop yelling at hippies Stop killing shooting the neihbor's cat with a bb gun Be nice to old people Stop putting poop on random Prius's in the WalMart parking lot Shop locally, think globally That about covers it.
Toughest thing I ever resolved to do. My wife and I had a conversation about this recently, because her sister turned down a job in her old field (it wasn't law - but it made her miserable). Me: 'Hey, hon, maybe she just doesn't want to get stuck doing something she hates and not having time to find what makes her happy.' Wife: "But it's more money than she ever made before.' Me: "I hear you, but sometimes being happy doesn't necessarily equate to making lots of money." Wife: "Yeah, I know, but if you got an offer to practice law full time for a great salary, I'd expect you'd take it.' Me: 'You'd expect wrong. I'd tell you about it, but if it wasn't something I liked, no, I probably wouldn't take it, I'd rather be happy.' What followed is probably one of the better conversations my wife and i have ever had. I think it's real easy to get stuck on the whole 'make more money, buy more things, get more money, buy more things' rinse and repeat train. I think the biggest reason is because most people are scared at the prospect of having to examine their lives, get honest about it, and try to find out what makes them truly happy. Since I've been doing it, I have real low days, thinking that 'man, I'm never going to find anything that makes me happy job-wise.' It can be deflating. But when I think about going back to the typical practice of law job? Yeah, my life is ten times better, even though I make significantly less. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'd like to make a lot of money, but I don't want to hate my days doing it.
Not Die. I stole it from Norm MacDonald but I think it is the best resolution one can have. It is certainly better than long running resolution to not make New Years resolutions.
Fuck BMW, I don't need a car to tell everyone I'm an asshole. Stop buying frivolous shit, realize time is the most important asset, and invest accordingly.