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I Love You, But Please Stop Farting In Bed!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    5 Horrifying Things You’ll Learn When Moving In With A Guy

    During my last year of college, I ended up living with my girlfriend at the time due to some extenuating circumstances (Hurricane Rita is a dick). Needless to say, it was an eye-opening experience for us both.

    I'm not going to say I regret living with her... Yeah nevermind, I regret living with her that soon in our relationship. What kind of person scoffs at watching Lonesome Dove any time there is nothing good on TV? Nobody I would date, that's who.

    Focus
    Have you ever lived with a significant other before you were married, and what effect, if any, did it have on the relationship? What were some of the things that you noticed about that person that you had never considered before that stage of the relationship? Were you able to overcome those strange nuances and end up together in the end?

    Focus#2
    What are some of your habits that you have that, no matter what, will never change despite the presence of your significant other?
     
  2. Chellie

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    I moved in with a guy after about 10 months of dating, and discovered he shits with the door open, blows his nose through his fingers in the shower (while i was in it with him) and gets screaming, vein-bulging angry if the towels were folded incorrectly. It definitely affected the level of attraction.

    P.S: What IS IT with guys always having to be the remote control holder?
     
  3. Gloria

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    Yeah, that towel thing...what is that? I even collected the ruined towels and put them aside for him to use if he ever need to wipe up motor oil again. That didn't work either. My girlfriends all wonder why I never have any clean towels anymore.

    I moved in with my husband about six months after meeting him. That was ten years ago. I love living with him. Sure, I fantasize about what it would be like to live alone (and have pretty towels) but I wouldn't want to live with anyone else. I'm counting on him dying before me anyway.

    Seriously though, living together didn't hurt us. He still married me. Even though I can watch eight straight hours of America's Next Top Model. And I still married him. Even though he does make a lot of disgusting noises.
     
  4. MoreCowbell

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    After getting undressed, clothing goes in a pile, on the floor. It will be picked up at a point in time to be determined later. And no, this does not mean I won't put the same clothes back on later.

    Yes, I see the laundry hamper five feet away that you're pointing at. And?

    Yup. And may even do so w/ the sink. What? I'm gonna wash it right after. Geez.
     
  5. JGold

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    I agree with all of the points made in the original article, except the towel thing. Really? I've had the same two towels for about two years, alternating them for two weeks of use apiece. Sometimes this stretches into a month. There were times in college where I sacrificed towels to clean up major beer spills or to put a keg on, but for the most part, I stick with my towels. Probably for a lot longer than I should; one of mine looks like it belongs around a homeless person's shoulders.

    Also, peeing in the shower is the best thing ever.

    Focus #2: I have to read and/or watch TV in bed for about 30 minutes before I can fall asleep. If I try to just get in bed and turn off the lights, I roll around until 2 a.m. I better find a girl with the same habit, or who can sleep with the lights on or Adult Swim blaring, or I'm destined to die alone.
     
  6. kuhjäger

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    Because there are a lot of buttons, and it is cute as women try and figure out what each one of them does, but us men know what they do, and can get it done faster.

    Focus:

    Jägerette and I have lived together in sin for 15 months now in a studio apartment. If you can survive that long in a studio and still look forward to seeing the person at the end of the day.

    It works well, as I am a neat person, and vacuum several times a week, and keep it clean, and Jägerette does the dishes.

    However she does a fucking terrible job of it. But I would rather have bout of dysentery than do the dishes.

    The only thing I can't stand is she destroys beds. I love to have a well made bed, which for me usually amounts to fixing the comforters and pillows, as the sheets don't get messed up too much. One time she even had pulled off the fitted sheet and wrapped it around her. However as she somehow rips up everything on a nightly basis meaning it would take too long to make the bed.

    I think it is time for her to start sleeping on the floor.
     
  7. ClaireV

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    Living with my boyfriend was an interesting eight months. He would NOT fart in front of me. Not that I'm asking for it to happen, I just found it very strange. It came to a point where I felt like i had to leave the room to burp because it might offend him. Fuck that.
     
  8. Frebis

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    How far into those 15 months did you make it before Jagerette figured out you were gay?

    Focus:

    I lived with a girl once for a very short time. I quickly learned if I ever get married, me and the wife will have to have separate rooms in the house. As I am everything a woman is not. I would just rather have my own space where I can make a mess, and let my laundry pile up rather than deal with the fights that would happen when I did it in her space.
     
  9. LindseyBluth

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    I lived with my husband 3 months after we started dating. He moved in with me into my tiny ass college apartment with my 3 other crazy ass roommates. We shared a twin bed. I honestly don't know how we made it work when I look back on it. I guess the effect it had on our relationship was that if we could love each other under those circumstances then we knew it could last.

    He was (and is) a total slob and I'm a neat freak. That was our major battle. He will still take his clothes off as he walks through the house when he gets home (dress shirt in the kitchen, socks on the couch, pants in the bathroom, boxers next to the laundry basket but not in it).

    Another major discrepancy is sleeping with the TV on. I'm a really light sleeper, so I have to have it pitch black with no noise, and he has to have the TV on in order to fall asleep. We used to trade nights (one night with TV and one night without), but now he usually falls asleep on the couch and comes to bed in the middle of the night. Works for me.

    We've been together for 6 years and married for 4 years, and we're still happy to be together.
     
  10. Blue Dog

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    I make my bed every single morning. I enjoy keeping my house neat (not necessarily clean- I hate dusting), and a well made bed goes a long way towards this goal.

    Plus, Getting into a well made bed every night is so awesome I don't give a crap if someone thinks its gay.

    I can only think of one time that I ever farted in front of my ex. I was laying on the couch after dinner, and she came and jumped on me. I farted so loud I think I scared her. I just don't do it for some reason, and I'm one of those people who thinks that random flatulence around your buddies is one of the funniest things ever.
     
  11. Currer Bell

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    When I saw my first husband blow his nose in the shower, I thought that was the most brilliant idea and have done it ever since.

    Focus: when we first got married, we had gotten as wedding gifts a nice set of plates and cloth placemats. His method of sawing his meat like a frickin lumberjack meant that for the rest of our marriage, there were ugly dark marks on those plates. The placemats, I don't think they stayed stain free more than a month. I eventually threw them away and realized that cloth placemats are a stupid concept and have never bought any since.
     
  12. MooseKnuckle

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    I love yanking out my nose hairs. It really helps pass the commercial time. My ex thought it was gross and bought me a nose trimmer but i didnt like the prickly feeling it left. And I would much rather yank out a huge hair. So any future wife will have to deal with that. And also the fact that I use more toilet paper than taco johns. Not that I wipe with an excessive amount, but I'm on the toilet 3 or 4 times a day. My body is very efficient at getting rid of all the waste I guess.
     
  13. ConorLarkin

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    I've been with the GF for four years. I've lived with her for the past year and a half. It's actually gone surprisingly well. I do get shit thrown at me from time to time for letting to pots and pans "soak" (that shit needs to soak, I don't care how much scrubbing you do sometimes its necessary).
     
  14. Rob4Broncos

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    "Where else would you pee?" - Adam Carolla, The Man Show
     
  15. Guy Fawkes

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    I'm a fingernail biter and a constant toenail clipper and I leave them in a nice neat pile on my coffee table until such time as I eat something with a wrapper or a napkin that I can scoop them into to throw them away. Such a time might not be for a few days but that doesn't bother me. She hates it.

    I use a lot of glasses. If something had milk in it theres no way in hell I'm going to put OJ in it, even after I rinse it out. There might be milk residue that will curdle and make my juice nasty. So I stack the glasses (all pint glasses) into towers 4-5 tall and will eventually bring them to the dishwasher when I have two full stacks. God gave me two hands for a reason.

    My workshop is for my tools and it's the neatest room in the house. There is no room for pansy ass potting soil shovels and flower scissors, those go on her shelf in the shed despite her constant attempts to leave them in the workshop.

    After doing repair work on a vehicle it is perfectly acceptable to wipe ones hands on their pants to clean them off suitably to eat a sandwich. A little grease never hurt anyone.
     
  16. lust4life

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    Focus#2
    What are some of your habits that you have that, no matter what, will never change despite the presence of your significant other?

    I'm still not putting the seat down.
     
  17. dewercs

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    Like I am supposed to know she did not like to see tuna fish butchered and packaged on the kitchen counter.
     
  18. effinshenanigans

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    Honestly, can't they be happy we put it up in the first place? And what about equality? I battled the forces of gravity to move it in one direction, she can use it to her advantage to move it in the other.

    As far as the shower goes, it has a floor drain. She's lucky I don't stomp a turd through those little holes.

    I fart in front of her constantly, I apparently snore no matter what position I'm in, and I jump out of random places and scare the shit out of her when I feel like laughing.

    We've lived together for over a year now and we're both very happy with the situation.
     
  19. kuhjäger

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    I scare Jägerette all the time, even when just sitting next to her I will go boo! and freak her out, and occasionally I will hide.

    Once when she was in the kitchen, I left to walk to the corner store to get some booze, and 20 minutes later I came back, and saw through the kitchen window that she was standing in the kitchen just facing the entrance.

    I came in and asked why she was standing in the kitchen still. Apparently she was convinced that I was hiding somewhere trying to scare her when she left, so she just stayed in the kitchen for 20 minutes attempting to thwart me
     
  20. effinshenanigans

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    I hid in our dryer once. It's stacked on top of our washer and was a bitch to get into. But it was totally worth it.