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I give you white elephant

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by toytoy88, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Tonight I had a few beers with my brother-in-law and brother (He's not really my brother, he's my half sister's half brother from Thailand. It's just easier to call him my brother.)

    In the course of the evening he related to me a story:

    Brother: In Thailand there was a man 104 years old. He very healthy and always live on the water.

    Brother in Law: The people love him very much. He good man.

    Me: Cool...he lived by a river?

    Brother: No. He live on the water.

    Me: Like he floated and shit? On the water?

    Brother: No, he live on a cano.

    Me: You mean a canoe?

    Brother: Yes, except it was square. When the weather bad he go under a bridge.

    Me: Like a troll?

    Brother in law: You want chicken?

    Me: No thanks.

    Brother: Everybody in Thailand love him. His wife die when he 60, so he live in cano catching fish. The queen of Thailand hear about him and buy him a new boat with a roof. It to heavy on the top and flip over in storm. He die.

    Me:...uh ...*blink, blink*...what kind of fucked up story is that?

    Focus: The hell if I know....good intentions gone horribly wrong? It was to good of a story to keep to myself.
     
  2. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    You mean this story?
     
  3. JWags

    JWags
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    1) That story is way more hilarious when I imagine Q, the host/order taker at my neighborhood Thai place telling it in his quirky accent/voice.

    2) I like the story better when the fancy queen-made boat flips as opposed to him passing in his sleep. I guess if you are going to take a newsworthy story and tell it on your own, gotta add some story Sriracha
     
  4. mya

    mya
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    What I loved best about that wiki page is where it says that his "life and death highlighted the plight of many elderly people in Thailand without adequate medical care and attention".

    Ummmm, he lived to be 108. Maybe I am missing the point but he seemed to have things figured out pretty well for himself.
     
  5. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Yes, but he could've lived alone on a tiny barge under a bridge in the rain until he was at least 115. It's a true tragedy that better healthcare couldn't have prolonged his blessed existence.

    Honestly, though, you hear stories of people who do nothing but eat bacon fat and smoke cigars all day and they live to be 110 years old, and they die 6 months after they started eating salad. But you never hear about a guy doing something shitty for so long getting killed by owning a better boat.
     
  6. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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  7. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Not to be a buzzkill, but it's an actual issue that's not funny.

    Every year in Thailand, over 8,000 people over the age of 100 are killed by oversized boats. It's the number 3 cause of death for the Thai centurion, after sex with Lindsay Lohan and Wii snowboarding.
     
  8. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Apparently that would be the guy.

    It seems my brother embellished the story just a wee bit.
     
  9. Frank

    Frank
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    Why won't Nintendo offer instructions in their language so they know not to jump on those damn balance boards? THE HUMANITY!
     
  10. Misanthropic

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    Unfortunately, every year in Thailand, 13,000 people between the ages of 63 and 64 are killed by undersized boats and over sized craniums, making floatation impossible.

    It's a cruel world.