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I give him two weeks

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by effinshenanigans, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    It's tough not to at least appreciate the tenacity with which Charlie Sheen has approached the massive amounts of hookers and crack he's placed in his life. The guy has a passion, I'll give it to him. He's also a lunatic, spouting Mel Gibson-besting quotes which teeter on the razor's edge of reality and the world he has hallucinated himself into.

    Here's a decent article with a bunch of fantastic quotes.

    My personal favorite is:
    "Guys, it’s right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."

    Honestly, if there's anything that needs to be said after uttering the words "vatican assassin warlocks," it is absolutely "Boom."

    As a result of his wild rantings, both aimed at religous wizzardry and his boss, CBS has halted production of his show for the rest of the season.

    Focus:
    Discuss--the quotes, his behavior, the public's reaction.

    Alt. Focus:
    Short of being a robot fueled by crack, booze, and VD, his expiration date has to be soon. Lets establish the line, and bet over-under.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    Somehow I have completely avoided encountering any news on Charlie Sheen. I don't even understand how that has happened, but it has. Everybody is talking about this. I'm like "guys, fucking Charlie Sheen has been obsessed with coke and hookers for years, why is this news?"

    He now says he has paperwork that shows he's tested clean for drugs. I'm curious about this, because he is probably on some chemicals that are so new that they aren't even considered "drugs" yet. But whatever.

    In the past several weeks, he's gone from a male version of Lindsay Lohan crossed with Mel Gibson to some kind of postmodern prophet.

    The latest:

    I was very happy to dismiss him as just another coked-out celebrity but there's a sort of distilled honesty in his statements. I mean, he is a rock star from Mars. If he's survived what he's done so far, he's a fucking IMMORTAL rock star from Mars. He has effectively infinite money, with which he can buy effectively infinite hookers and infinite blow. If he just doesn't show up for work, tens of millions of dollars hang in the balance. He's like Ozymandias in Watchmen: if you interfere with his plans, all you've done is prevent him from having the awesomest life ever. He's hasn't been "hospitalized for exhaustion," he isn't "taking time out to treat mercury poisoning caused by eating too much sushi." He's just putting it out there now.

    Life is tough enough as it is, and doubly so if you're the son of America's greatest democratic president. So leave the poor guy alone and stop being jealous.
     
  3. Aetius

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    Charlie Sheen has officially entered the Mike Tyson/Charles Barkley tier
     
  4. RCGT

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    Absolutely. I'm tired of bullshit apologies and lies to makes us plebes feel better and how Michael Phelps can win 8 gold medals but has to say sorry for hitting a bong. Who gives a shit? This is the way America works, ladies and gentlemen. Charlie just refuses to lie about it.

    Free Charlie!
     
  5. Kubla Kahn

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    Maybe it's getting covered more than it would have in the past but damn is this dude spinning out fast. I think it's fucking hilarious that every news report has reported "Two and a Half Men CANCELED!for the remainder of the season... I don't know the inside politics but the show does decent in the ratings enough to pay him 1.+ million an episode, I wonder if theyd actually kill the show entirely because of the shit he's doing. Unless he's pulled some Nick Cage shit with his money, buying 700k worth of cars for strippers might be the tip of the iceberg, he's probably got a cool 100 million to his name.

    In all seriousness this dude is a serious drug addict plain and simple. From the Adam Carolla podcast, Dr. Bruce a fill in for Dr Drew, stated that coke leaves the system in a matter of days and wouldnt show up on test. Honestly don't see the dude making it out the year if he isnt stopped. You wonder were the rest of the Estevezs are right now...
     
  6. Nettdata

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    His publicist has quit.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-02-28/charlie-sheen-s-publicist-quits-as-actor-says-on-morning-tv-he-s-drug-free.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-02-2 ... -free.html</a>

    And the reports of the cancellation of 2.5 Men are based on the vanity card that was shown at the end of tonight's Mike and Molly, another Chuck Lorre show, where he says "I am so outta here".


    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.chucklorre.com/index-mnm.php?p=334" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.chucklorre.com/index-mnm.php?p=334</a>

     
  7. Crown Royal

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    I think that with all his psychotic ramblings, he's also a very insistant 9-11 Truther- you know, those clueless assholes that insist September 11th was an inside job. So aside from the dozens of ways to demonstrate his knack for irresbonsibility, you also have to hear his half-cocked theories that is adamant about.

    He's a fucking knob. You've slept with over 5,000 women. Your star should have burnt out more than 20 years ago (because of Major League II alone) but you've managed to stick it out, and you STILL go out of your way to destroy yourself and everybody around you. Get help.
     
  8. Juice

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    In one of his interviews, he was complaining about how hes now out of a job and that he needs to support his family. Charlie, youve been getting $ 2 million dollars an episode on a weekly TV show. Forgive the public for not sympathizing with you.
     
  9. pterodactyl

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  10. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    I guess he's been hanging out with Latrell Sprewell.

    I've always wondered if being a movie star and/or Hollywood celebrity is prone to making people crazy, or just that since they're entertainers - and craziness like this is nothing if not entertaining - they know they can get away with not bothering to hide their craziness because they know the public won't condemn them for it.
     
  11. Rick M

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    Here's a video on youtube: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5aSa4tmVNM" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5aSa4tmVNM</a>

    It's full of rich Charlie Sheen quotes. I won't ruin them for you, but it's pure gold.

    He's the first celebrity I'm actually interested in paying attention to.
     
  12. jets22

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    How is it that Two and a Half Men can be such an unfunny pile of dogshit, yet everything that comes out of Charlie Sheen's mouth in reality is comedic gold?
     
  13. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Because you just can't come up with this shit. He's got rocket fuel shooting from his penis while he assassinates for the vatican and bangs seven gram rocks--and finishes them.

    I don't care how good of a writer you are, that stuff just isn't going to come to your mind when you work for s sitcom.
     
  14. lust4life

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    "Adonis DNA" is my favorite.
     
  15. Primer

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    I swear to god that Charlie is just bored with his ridiculous life and is now fucking with everyone and anyone. Charlie Sheen is just the worlds best troll; he's tired of the shit house system, the rules of engagement, the laws governing the life of a "proper" celebrity and is just saying fuck it. He's going into interviews and yapping off the first thing he can think of that is beyond crazy.

    He's looking directly into the sun and figuring out a way to have his afternoon tea on it's surface. He's got a Ford F400000, with extra, extra long truck bed, just to hold his massive, steel nuts. Watch out world, there's a fucking rich celebrity who is bored, he's on the loose and there is nothing you can do to stop him.
     
  16. thabucmaster

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  17. lostalldoubt86

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    I love that the three people who have "reached out" to him are Colin Farrel, Mel Gibson, and Sean Penn.
     
  18. Gramercy

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    I find him highly entertaining; but wonder how he's not in jail if it's documented that he's been doing drugs for years. I know it's Hollywood, but if you have tons of coke in the house, you go to jail. That's the rule, right?
     
  19. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Hollywood is the exception. For you and I, absolutely--coke=prison every time. But once you become famous, I'm pretty sure a package shows up at your house filled with jewels, caviar, your Stonecutters membership sticker (complete with new emergency number--912), and a list of crimes you can commit that can be avoided with your get-out-of-jail-free card. Basically any vice crime or traffic violation is covered. For the really special celebrities, murder is tossed in as well.
     
  20. Guy Fawkes

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    I love it.

    He's sick of playing the game, has the ability to say fuckit, and has.

    Let him fuck his goddesses, snort coke by the barrel, enjoy the fuck out of life.

    Will he regret all this? Maybe. Maybe not.

    No judgements, just fun. Winning.