I dont care, I still like it

Focus: Cabin Boy with Chris Elliot. A fancy lad gets on a fishing boat, mistaking it for a cruise liner, and takes a bizarre journey into Hell's Bucket. The cast includes the 4 most grizzled sailors ever, a woman swimming around the world, a giant shoe salesman, the abominable snowman, and a giant floating cupcake who spits tobacco. It makes no sense. How it even got made is a mystery no doubt involving mob favors. One of the best WTF? movies. You also get to see how a harem girl dances.



The Ninth Gate with Johnny Depp. A sleazy bookseller goes on the hunt for a satanic tome. Bombed, had middling reviews. There's something about it I find fascinating.

Wolverine, the last one where he's in Japan. Not everyone is into it. I dig it precisely because it doesn't play like a typical superhero movie. People are called by their real names, no goofy backflips every 5 minutes, got rid of that stupid fucking hair. Jackman was always the best part of the X-men movies (well, Stewart and McKellan too), so it was nice to see him removed from everything bogging his character down, such as the rest of the X-men universe. It was a modern samurai/spy flick in the vein of the newer Bonds. Really pushed that character with some adult drama.

Alt.: Count me in for superhero movies too. How many times do I have to watch NY get demolished?

Books: I hate Dickens. Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Joyce. Nope. I appreciate the stories, the importance of the works, but when reading I just want to scream at them to shut the fuck up.

 

I'm sure there are lots, but the first two that came to mind:

Focus: Grease 2. I love every single minute and musical note of this movie. I couldn't tell you what I love most about it. The absolutely filthy songs. Dancing with bowling balls. Maxwell Caulfield with his throbbing motorcycle. Michelle Pfeiffer eating ketchup soaked fries while wearing matching red lipstick. The end of year luau. Oh I know what I love most: Dolores freaking Rebchuck.

Anti-Focus: Four Weddings and a Funeral. I really wanted to like this movie, I really did. The supporting cast was hilarious. But goddamn was Andie McDowell's character the biggest thundercunt ever. I'm supposed to root for this couple when all I want to do is punch her in the face. Nope.

 

Alt. Focus: The Beatles. I've never liked them and don't understand their appeal. I think the Rolling Stones did way more for music than the trite, sing-songy shit the Beatles put out.

 

Focus
Movies: Mallrats. I like all of Kevin Smith's movies that feature Jay and Silent Bob, and this one has always been my favorite, even though it is by far the most critically panned of those six films. I don't understand the hate, and I think that it is a much funnier film than Clerks. Brodie makes the movie, the supporting characters are all great, and it has one of the best laugh per minute ratios of any comedy that I have seen.

I'll second Happy Gilmore, which I can't believe just turned 20 years old. It became my favorite movie when I first saw it, and it is still a top five comedy for me. I don't usually like Adam Sandler's films, but this one gets the comedy formula just right by never getting too caught up in plot and keeping the gags and one liners coming consistently.

Television: The War at Home. I even have the first season on DVD. Michael Rapaport was one of the best TV dads ever.

Music: Blink 182. They were one of my favorite bands when I was in middle school...and they still are now.

Most '90s rock. Collective Soul, Goo Goo Dolls, Dog's Eye View, old school Green Day, Better Than Ezra, etc. A lot of it may be nostalgia, but I still listen to them.

Dashboard Confessional and most emo bands. They are not my favorite, but I do have them on some playlists.

Alt-Focus
Movies: Pirates of the Caribbean. The first one came out the Summer before my senior year of high school and I had to listen to everyone rave about. I still don't understand its popularity with anyone over the age of 12. It's not funny, it's not exciting, and Johnny Depp's character was just irritating.

For sports comedies, I'll say Slap Shot and Major League. I tried watching both films twice and was bored to tears. I never made it more than halfway through either one.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I normally like John Hughes' films, but this is the one that I dislike. Matthew Broderick's character was just insufferable, like a high school, PG-13 version of Tucker Max in the IHTSBIH movie.

Television: I could never get into Seinfeld or The Office, but I feel guilty about saying anything negative about them after being subjected to my first episode of Two Broke Girls last Friday night.

Music: I feel bad saying this, because I respect their places in history and would still rather listen to them than almost anything on the radio nowadays, but Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones. They each have a few good songs, but I just don't see what's so special about "Black Dog," "Whole Lotta Love," "Satisfaction," "You Can't Always Get What You Want," and most of their other hits.

The Eagles. No disrespect to Glenn Frey or any of the other members, but The Dude was right.

Radiohead. Their first 3 albums were okay rock, but starting with Kid A everything that they have recorded has been unlistenable.

Foo Fighters. Again, they have a few good songs, and I have nothing but respect for Dave Grohl as a person and a professional, but in terms of the music they're nothing special.

Although I do like some indie music, I have to add Andrew Bird, Sufjan Stevens, Joanna Newsom, Neutral Milk Hotel, Of Montreal, and pretty much any pretentious indie rock that hipsters listen to.

 

I literally don't like a single Eagles song. I just think they are tremendously overrated. My mom was getting excited about the tribute during the Grammy's when Ive never heard her even mention them before. That pretty much sums up most of the people I knew who liked the Eagles. Either "I don't like any music after 1980" or people who like them cause they are "supposed" to.

FOCUS:
Shooter: Its reviews aren't terrible, but its the kind of semi-cheesy action movie that's always on TNT. Danny Glover and Ned Beatty are over the top villains, but Walhberg is at his best, Kate Mara looks incredible, and there are a couple great scenes.

Mighty Ducks: Watching theme again as I was older I realized how bad they are, but that doesn't make them any less amazing.

We Are Your Friends: Did poor at the box office, reviewed harshly, its pretty cliche, but the soundtrack was excellent, Emily R continues to be otherwordly, and the scene where Efron takes PCP at a fancy art party is FANTASTIC in a visual sense.

ALT-FOCUS:
I had a pretty good run of well regarded movies I rented on Netflix that weren't my cup of tea.

Theory of Everything
Imitation Game
Both well done films with good performances, both bored me to tears. I skipped through most of the end of Imitation Game cause I just didn't care and decided to read the bio on Wikipedia. Theory of Everything became uncomfortable after awhile.

Southpaw: Not that its award winning, but a lot of my friends loved it and I didn't even get 75% of the way before giving up.

Music-wise, its a hot take but....

Kanye (as a rapper): I will never take anything away from him as a producer as I think he's a legend in that regard. But even before his Yeezus and 808s and Heartbreak experimental nonsense, I thought he was massively overrated as a rapper. Chunky flow, simplistic cadence, annoying shopping lists masquerading as lyrics, etc... I couldn't find a Kanye verse that I couldn't easily rap once I saw the lyrics. Come at me

 

I'm pretty sure we had a thread about this a couple of months back, but whatever, I like ragging on things I hate and bragging on things I like.

FOCUS:

Godzilla movies. I've been watching them for about 30 years now, and I still love them. Yeah, I know it's a guy in a rubber suit, and no, I don't care that it looks fake.

Alt. Focus:

- Zombie movies/ TV shows. Seriously, I don't get the appeal. And the worst part is that it seems like everyone I know loves them.

- True Blood. I know that this show is off the air now, but when it was playing, it seemed like nobody I knew would shut up about it. I watched the first episode, and denounced it as stupid horseshit.

-Shakespeare. This may surprise some of you, but I have a lot of friends in the academic and literary fields (I was an English major in college.). As such, I have a few friends who think that Shakespeare was the greatest writer of all time. I think he's literature's version of Thomas Edison, taking other people's stories and taking credit for them.
While we're on this subject, I think most classic authors are overrated. Is their work considered "classic" because it's just so goddam good (it isn't), or because they were the only ones who managed to get published back then?

- The city of Austin. I know this isn't a book/movie/TV show, but seriously, is there a more overrated place than the Texas state capitol? It seems like all I ever hear from people is how fucking awesome Austin is, but whenever I've been there, it sucks.
Its expensive as fuck (for Texas). It's crawling with hipsters, frat-boys, pan-handlers, and cops, and I just have a bad time in general.
Those same assholes who are lining up to suck Austin's dick give me the same excuses every time:

- You didn't go there at the right time.
- You didn't go to the right places.
- You didn't go with the right people.

WELL NO FUCKING SHIT. If you go almost ANYWHERE at the right time with the right people, you'll have a great time.
If you have to add a bunch of qualifiers like that, it's not really such a great place, is it?
If you come down here to the asshole of Texas at the right place and time, and hang with the right people, you'll have a great time.
I've had better times here, in San Antonio, and Mexico than I've ever had in Austin. Fuck that place.

 

ALT Focus:

Making a Murderer - goddamn everybody was obsessed with this. I finally broke down and got Netflix JUST so I could see what the hubbub was all about. I watched it all waiting for .....something. It never came. All I got was a one sided story about a creepy as fuck guy.

American Sniper - lead character was a giant douchebag

Boyhood - that's 3 hours of my life I will never get back. Now I know how to waste time. I will spend 3 hours watching a Vanderpump Rules marathon with absolutely no shame. I am still pissed about that 3 hours I spent watching that boring drivel over a year ago.

 

Focus:

The Phantom Menace - Everyone in fandom utterly hates this movie, but I didn't think it was so bad. I like Qui-Gon Jinn is probably my favorite character of the prequel trilogies and frankly probably the most interesting jedi in the series. He's the only jedi who was presented as an actual person instead of only good or only bad like all the other jedi/force users. I liked that he did some questionable stuff and owned up to it, instead of being an angsty douche about it. I also think the battle between Darth Maul, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan was the best in the series.

Transformers - The Movie - This movie was panned when it came out as just a cheap gimmick to sell more toys - and it probably was - but goddammit every kid I know who saw it was completely blown away. Unlike every other cartoon in the 80s (and probably today even), characters actually died. And not just bit characters, but major players like Optimus freaking Prime. It also had - and has - one of the all time great soundtracks, especially if you like 80s power metal.


Alt-focus:

Superhero Movies - About the only superhero movies I've ever liked are Batman and the X-Men trilogy from the turn of the century, but everything else since then I find boring, predictable, cliche-ridden, and banal. I pretty much can't ever take them seriously.

Network Television - For pretty much the same reasons DCC mentioned. It just seems like there aren't any interesting stories being told anymore, and everything is just same old, same old.

 

Focus:
There's an old "Comic-book Movie" from the early '90's called The Shadow that starred Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller and Tim Curry. It was essentially a bomb and critically panned, but I still have a copy of it on DVD that I watch every once in a while. Maybe because he was one of the inspirations for the original Batman and I don't think he ever got the credit he was due.

Alt-Focus:
A Confederacy of Dunces - Back on the old TMMB/RMMB everybody would go on and on about how this was the greatest/funniest book ever written, so I decided to see what the hype was all about. Instead I didn't find any humor in it and thought that the main character was completely insufferable without any redeeming qualities.

Also, I'll second The Beatles. Not that they're necessarily a bad band, I just don't think they're quite as influential as everyone wants to make them out to be.

 

Focus: It was neither popular nor loved but I fucking adore the movie Nuns on the Run with Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane. Pure 90s gold.

Alt Focus: I know this is going to get me some ribbing but The Princess Bride. I don't get the hype. I actually don't get the hype about a lot of older comedy movies. Airplane? Fell asleep. Wayne's World? Couldn't make it through it. Naked Gun? Pass. I just don't go for that stuff. It nearly caused a divorce and the loss of several friends.

 

Focus:

True Blood
I'm going to just say this; it is a fucking stupid show. But goddamn, is it like watching the most hilarious bullshit ever. Vampires, werewolves, werepanthers and other mythological crap is always happening, tons of weird plot turns, a sassy gay black man, a blithering idiot of a main protagonist and her somehow-smarter but still objectively-dumb brother, what a ride of a show.



Supernatural
This is similar to the above, it's what happens when some network script writers say to themselves, "Let's write True Blood meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer but make it hyper-cool and with a cool car and complex lore!" and instead, the network takes it and says, "Oh shit, CGI and costuming costs money? Make everything as SyFy shoestring budget as possible!" It absolutely is so bad, it is good.

 

Alt Focus:

Old School. Umpteen billionth cliche of exactly what college isn't like. After a hysterical opening scene of a father beating his young son on an escalator and a brief scene of Elisha Cuthbert in her undies, it downward spirals into the tired schticks of Vaughn and Farrell and unfolds in completely predictable fashion, reminding me how much more I liked PCU or Animal House.

I really have no clue why this became modern pop culture folklore. It's an average movie at best. Although I always find "The Dan Band" hilarious in Brydges' movies.

 

Alternate Focus:

Anyone heard of Terra Nova?



If for no other reason than the science fiction and the dinosaurs I liked this show. I do however understand that something like this is a marketing turd and a commercial flop because A) Networks are notorious for being spooked by a new concept like it and B) it set up a plot that would have taken some Lost-style scripting, which is to say, explained-as-how-it-went-down science-fiction weirdness. Basically, alternate realities, dinosaurs, fight scenes, conspiracies, a colony of humans sent to the past, all sorts of cool shit.

 

Focus:


Too soon???

Other movies that others have shitten all over that I've liked:

The 'Inbetweeners' Movie: The TV series was brilliant, while the movie wasn't nearly as well received. Never the less I enjoyed the heck out of the movie just the same.

8 Seconds: Luke Perry and one of the Baldwin bros? This movie is all sorts of awesome! Every time I see it on TV I will stop what I'm doing and watch it in it's entirety. It was my 'go to' in high school.

Alt Focus:

The Revenant: Let me be clear... Leo killed it and did an awesome job and I'm stoked that he finally got his Oscar. But to me the actual film itself felt like nearly three hours of snow, trees, wind and running water with little sprinkles of violence and dialogue in between.

 

Focus:
Nickleback. Nah, just kidding they suck.

Bad? Are you implying that Happy Gilmore and by association Billy Madison (especially the Old Man Clemens and flaming bag of shit scene) are not fine masterpieces of the cinema?

Regardless I agree and would be happy to watch either again, any time.

Tombstone. Ms. katokoch hates it, epic mustaches and all, which I find hilarious.

Cool Runnings. It seemed like a much higher quality movie when it first came out, but whatever it's still a childhood classic to me.

Finally, I'll watch any old epic adventure movie with stop-motion animation a la Ray Harryhausen. I was fascinated by it as a kid and still love it.

Alt-focus:
House of Cards. Maybe it's just the people who are super into it that annoy me, but the level of smarminess in Frank Underwood is off-putting.
Seinfeld. Has funny bits but could never get into it.
Network crime and drama TV shows. What everyone already said. They're all the same.

Last but not least, the Mall of America. Whenever people from out of town ask if I go there, as someone who doesn't like crowded malls I want to tell them it's the biggest festering asshole on the face of Earth complete with an amusement park and everything. No thanks.