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I CAN DO IT MYSELF!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Dec 5, 2014.

  1. shegirl

    shegirl
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    Redemption Seeking Whore

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    My Boss (who is in his late 60's) was on a ladder this weekend with a backpack tank full of liquid moss removal. There he was, just him, his stogie and the sprayer, killin' moss on the roof of the office (he owns the building). Suddenly he felt wetness at the small of his back. Naturally he thought he had worked up a sweat until the pain came. The searing pain was not sweat; it was the chemical shit from the leaking tank down the back of his pants.

    The results, after a trip to the ER and an appointment with the burn center, 2nd degree chemical burns from the small of his back all the way down his ass to where the cheeks meet the thighs.

    For being a very intelligent man that was a total dipshit maneuver.

    FOCUS: What is the absolute stupidest thing you have done, when you knew you had no business even attempting it? Or watched someone else do?
     
  2. bewildered

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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Pull the breaker, he said. It'll be easy, he said.

    ZAP!

    I learned a valuable lesson that day. 1: When they say it's easy, it isn't. And 2: Don't fuck with electricity.

    I don't have a good story, but after a short year of home repairs, I have learned to never touch anything that'll get me zapped or anything involving gas. I am far too inept to be dealing with shit that can backfire so spectacularly.
     
  3. Revengeofthenerds

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    One time I was cleaning my .40 pistol, and I had a few too many. The incident was caused by a round stuck in the chamber which fired when it wasn't supposed to, but if I was completely sober I would have caught it before my hand got the scars.

    No, I didn't shoot myself. But the bullet did graze my hand. To the extent that I got "rifling" shaped burn lines on my palm on its way to lodging itself in the wall. I should have taken a picture (again, I was drunk so not thinking, and also a gun shot tends to put you in not the right mind). It felt like I shot myself. I was as close to being shot as you could be, and I'm still not 100% sure what happened. What actually burned me, why it actually went off. What I do know is that I had it ingrained in me from childhood that NOTHING gets in front of a gun's barrel unless you intend to kill it it, so when that happened my palm was just barely off to the side. That probably saved my hand.

    ... That's about as close as I can get to the focus of this thread. For everything else, home improvement projects etc., I'm always prepared for the task at hand or I call someone who can take that risk for me. There's no such thing as "over-safe."
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    I let a girl jack me off once.
     
  5. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Yeah... dude totally shot himself...
     
  6. Kubla Kahn

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    And apparently works with Kindergartners.
     
  7. guernica

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    I'm only an Australian, so my knowledge of guns and dealing with them is extremely limited and contains a severe fear factor, but surely cleaning them whilst drunk is "Darwin Awards" talk.
     
  8. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Pretty much any combination of alcohol + firearms is a leading candidate for the Darwin Awards.
     
  9. dewercs

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    I once had a roommate from Phillie who was a typical Phillie type guy, very brash, lots of jewelry, lots of cologne, shaved head and of course a waterbed. For some reason he had to drain the waterbed and refill it so he drains the bed in the morning before he goes to work and hooks the hose up to it turns on the water and leaves for work.
    We both get home about the same time and he goes upstairs to check the progress and starts screaming for me to shut the water off as the matress was so full that is was like a water balloon and it was about 1 inch from the ceiling fan that is 7 feet off the ground. His room was on the second floor and we could hear some creaking in the joists.
    He laughed and said he didn't think it would fill up that fast.
     
  10. Revengeofthenerds

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    Well, that's one way to start a dead thread.

    And to clarify...

    I count being shot as in the bullet actually got you, went through you. I'm still not sure if it actually grazed me, or if the gunpowder did it, or what happened. That katchacoochie dude probably has a better answer than I do.

    All I know is I made a terrible mistake. And it hurt like hell. And it could have been a lot worse.
     
  11. katokoch

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    Not that everyone hasn't made mistakes but yeah you shot yourself. Was there blood? There probably would have been some powder burns and the muzzle blast would be like holding onto a firecracker so I'm sure it'd hurt a lot anyways. This is why you drink after, not before cleaning guns.

    On that note I've gotten myself in way over my head a couple times on some gun projects, whether I knew it or not at the time. Needless to say some stuff has been destroyed in my hands. The best was when I cracked a Ruger 10/22 receiver and the stock (right through the middle) after a failed bedding job. Yeah I learned a few lessons after that one.

    PS, I read it like kay-toe-cook. It's part of my name and hometown together.
     
  12. Revengeofthenerds

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    No blood. It was back when I was single so... seven years ago now? Shit. Time flies. But like you said in your pm, I agree, the memory stays with you, as well it should. It'll be the first thing I tell my son as an example of gun safety when he is old enough to get his first daisy red ryder.

    And you should pronounce it with "coochie" at the end. Because that's just a funny word.
     
  13. Fiveslide

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    There is this old retired guy that lives nearby, all he does is sit by the river and drink Old Milwaukee with his old saggy sack hanging out of his tattered boxer briefs. He shot his finger off trying to kill a snake with a scoped pistol. He put his finger right across the muzzle to help steady for the shot.

    I shot a hole in my floor once. I'm still pissed at my brother-in-law for it, even though I know I should have cleared the gun again as soon I picked it back up. Here is how it went... I got my shotgun out, it was unloaded, I checked thoroughly. I loaded 2 shells, shot them both, leaned it up against the wall, safety on, because it was soon going to be put in the truck for transport. I picked it back up, must have bumped the trigger, it went off and shot a hole in my floor. It was full with the safety off. My brother-in-law was the only one near the gun but he will not own up to loading the gun and switching it to fire.
     
  14. Dcc001

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    I was working by myself late at my flip house this summer, with a chop saw. Mitre cutting trim to finish off the back door and stairs. I needed a really goofy angle that the saw couldn't accommodate, and to compensate I was basically holding down the wood with my hands as close to the blade as possible. In the book under, "The dumbest thing you can ever do with power tools." Did I mention I was pretty much exhausted?

    Sure enough, the blade bit and ripped the wood right away from me, pulling my hand with it. I suffered a really traumatic blow to my left hand, and for easily five seconds I was unable to look at it because I was sure I had either lost fingers or cut to the bone. Instead, I had cut the very end tip of the skin on my middle finger off. Pretty much what you would do with a bad paper cut.

    I came *this* close to a catastrophic injury, and I still get chills thinking about it.

    So the lessons are: don't ignore the guards and safety protocols on tools. Try to never work with power tools alone. Never use them when you're exhausted, and in fact stop working altogether when you're that tired because you'll just fuck everything you touch up.
     
  15. happyfunball

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    While not life threatening, or idiotic, I always seem to be able to convince myself I can hang a level shelf. I don't know how I talk myself into this, as I just use the eyeball method. Ten minutes and numerous holes in the wall later, I have a (mostly) level shelf. I've only ever had one fall off the wall at a later time, so I consider my skills successful.

    And hey, at least I'm not shooting myself.
     
  16. AlmostGaunt

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    I dated a girl, on and off, for 8 years. First girlfriend, we broke up for good a couple of years back but are still friendly. She was travelling around the country with her boyfriend and some mates when they stopped at a river. They'd bought some plastic sheeting and inflated it somehow to make a slide, which they put at the bottom of a hill. She went down and despite getting her arms up, hit her head on the sand. She swam in to shore and thought she was fine. Then she tried to stand up. Fortunately, one of the friends is a medic and strapped her to a surfboard while they waited 2 hours for an ambulance.

    I've been visiting her in hospital a bit. 4 fractured vertebrae to go with massive ligament damage. She's not paralyzed thank you God, but she's in one of these for the next 3 - 6 months. . That's screwed into the skull in 4 places by the way. And then it'll be a few more months of physio to rebuild her neck muscles (and however long to regrow her hair, which they had to shave).

    Be careful people. Shit can get real, real quick.
     

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  17. Parker

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    Well I have a story of something that could have gone horribly wrong but I was lucky.

    While hanging out in Park City, Utah for the Sundance Film Festival, I got drunk with a few friends and were heading back to the cabin to keep drinking with a fire and the hot tub. This one girl slips on some ice and tries to grab a friend to catch herself. She doesn't fall, but dislocates her shoulder. This is something that happens as she didn't get the surgery yet to really fix it. It could be popped back into place. Me, being slightly tipsy with a know-it-all god complex just says "Yep, I can fix it." Not sure where I've seen it done, how or where, but I just walk up, place my hands where they need to be "One, two, THREE" and pop it back in.

    Now, I've heard multiple times, "You only get to try that once, if you fuck it up, you have to go to the emergency room." And being up in Park City Utah, I could have fucked her shoulder up and taken some real heat if I did any damage. Her rich British parents would have taken my ass to court for sure. I realized a bit later after my next drink how fucking dumb it was.
     
  18. CanisDirus

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    I cannot, for the life of me, remember all the various stupid ideas for various household projects my dad has nearly killed me, himself or my brothers in. Because he's an electrical contractor, he thinks that means he could also be a framer, roofer, landscaper, etc. And it usually leads to hilarity and injury. One that really sticks out in my mind is when he decided, for some reason, to chop down an enormous 70+ foot tall white pine tree next to his then driveway, claiming its destruction into firewood would allow him to "make the driveway larger." This led to him at first shimmying up the tree on an extension ladder, his overweight bulk bringing to mind a deformed orangutan, and using a chainsaw to make an initial cut. The sheer stupidity of this, even at my then age of fourteen, was tremendous. Consider that this was an old, healthy tree. It weighs hundreds of thousands of pounds, and he's leaning on the fucking tree, attacking it with a Stihl chainsaw. Needless to say, I convinced him not to, he called my cousin from a tree removal company to remove the tree and because he was too retarded/cheap to want to remove the stump, proceeded to hit it every time he drove near it. And no, that driveway was never expanded. The fuck was even the point?