I BELIEVE!

I wrote that.

Go back to eating protein off a hooker's cock!

Err. I *believe* you should go eat protein off a hooker's cock.

 

I believe I have no problem maintaining an even speed while driving until a police car pulls behind me. In which case I will either go too fast...or too slow...or too fast again.

 

I believe:
* in being as nice as possible, but as nasty as necessary.
* in good beer to enjoy, and cheap beer when I'm working.
* in considering my words and their impact before speaking...though truthfully, I don't always do that.
* in good eyeliner, pink nail polish, red lipstick, and groomed eyebrows. These things help me feel pulled together.
* that one of the greatest sins in life is neglecting the brain and the body. Use both, enjoy them, push them, and savor the experience.
* that the best kind of love is the easy love, the love where you want to go home to your person every night, where the room is better - just because s/he's there.
* that even if blood ties you to someone, you aren't obligated to have or nurture a relationship with them. I don't like my mother's brother, and don't feel obligated to be friends with the pedophiliac bastard, and I have cousins and aunts and God knows what other kind of relative for whom I feel zero attachment. Blood does not create an obligation for a relationship.
* in teaching people, children AND adults, to think for themselves.
* in the smell of leather, horses, grass, and heat...they're home, they're the smell of work and productivity.
* in naps. I FIRMLY believe that Americans would be better off with more down time. Either 4 day work weeks or a shift in hours to mean a longer lunch. SOMETHING to break up the day. Preferably the four day work week.
* that too many people place too much emphasis on what they "should" do, vs what they SHOULD do. The first is conventional wisdom, what is expected of them, what they're told, what they're afraid NOT to do. The second is what will truly make them happy, or help them meet their goals, or get them where they really want to go.
* that too many people fear the disapproval of others.
* that stilettos are worth the pain.
* that thongs are overrated...and gross.
* in honesty, but not meanness.

 

I believe that most people are overly judgemental for their own good.
I believe that a couch should always be available for a friend.
I believe that not enough people realize how fortunate we are to live in modern times (Oh don't believe me? Ask your grandfather or his grandfather how easy it was to bed a chick he just met. Or how easy it was to keep in touch with relatives from far away. Or if he could imagine a time where anyone has access to lifetimes worth of information and knowledge. Or how old he expects to age to.)
I believe that America perpetually overconsumes and that mutual ownership of any number of things would be mutually beneficial to communities.
I believe that the field of health and wellness (nutrition/diet/exercise), is heavily muddled with bullshit, and very few people actually really know what they're talking about.
I believe that there is one female out there who I'm supposed to end up with, and everything that happens in between 'happens for a reason', despite not identifying myself as religious.
I believe incredible amounts of money, time and energy are invested into both being cool and making products that fall into that range for as long as possible.
I believe that I can't fully trust any man who doesn't enjoy American football, even a little.
I believe that true misery would be beneficial to society in the longterm, because we have gotten to a point where we are too pampered and don't understand the meaning of 'delayed gratification'.
I believe that Africa, and therefore the world, would truly flourish with a strengthened infrastructure that includes widespread upgrades and new installations such as public water, roads, highways, housing, sewer systems and electrical grid updates.

 

Goddamn straight.

I believe I'll have another drink.

 

I believe that this message board is chock full of highly intelligent people that I would probably like to be friends with in my personal life. We may be a little weird and twisted but we keep each other entertained.

Therefore, I believe I'm not spending nearly as much time on here as I should

 

I believe:

That people should not eat their cake and have it too. This goes double for the ladies, want equal rights and pay? Awesome. Pay for a date. I'm not asking you to have children.

That men should not wear flip-flips outside of a pool, beach or grassy area. Have some dignity you dirty hippie.

That men should not talk in the bathroom. Our penises are out. Shut the fuck up. Also, this is probably the only 30 seconds of silence I'll get all day in my office.

That no one should poop in the office or be proud of it. That is gross. Time your poops accordingly and poop at home.

That you shouldn't be too concerned with other people's personal lives if they're not breaking any practical laws.

That people shouldn't peacock with their clothing. I don't give a fuck about your individuality or you expressing youself through your clothes. Write a poem or paint a picture. At least I can buy it and put it on a wall.

That people shouldn't be able to force me to see things I don't want to see that are not part of a bigger world crisis. Dear coworker, I saw you wearing a purple mesh shirt while walking down the street at 1pm on a Sunday afternoon. I don't want to see your nipples. Dear dentist, I believe what you say, I don't need to see my cavity, I'll floss more, just fix it.

That people should stand up for themselves when they're not getting what they want out of something they should be. Otherwise, people shouldn't try to order steak from Best Buy.

That everyone should learn the definition of arrogant, cocky and self-confident. Because the third often gets mistook for the first two. I can think I'm great without thinking you're not. There can be two great people, but I don't know about you, only speaking for myself.

And finally. I believe we should have more threads bumped.

 

I believe that nobody ever drowned in their own sweat.

I believe in expensive whiskey, cheap beer, hot girls and Saturday football.

I believe there's no government like less government.

I believe in making sure no veteran pays for a drink at the bar.

I believe that the Christian Right tends to be neither that Christian nor that right.

 

I believe you contradicted yourself there, Buckwheat.

 

I believe Parker could benefit from a sociology class or two.

 

DCC Edit: Let's try to keep within the focus, m'kay? Kay.

 

DCC Edit: Don't feed the trolls.

 

DCC Edit: You want new threads, then stick to the rules of existing threads.

 

I believe dixiebandit is right, and I will only say that 1% of the time.

I believe you should keep up the good work sister.

I believe steak, bacon, and football means a man is in heaven. I believe I need to research more recipes for steak.

 

DCC Edit: Done.

 

DCC Edit: Not on focus. At all.

 

I believe that humans are well in the process of causing the 6th mass extinction in earth's history.

I believe a lot of women pretend to like sports and dogs just to attract men.

I believe that watching flies fuck is more exciting than watching any sport in any setting, other than the Olympics.

I believe that magical thinking is the biggest universal human failing.

 

I believe someone has lost their sense of humor.