I ain't buyin' your shit...

I cannot go through a single commercial break on any football game and most other TV shows without seeing this fucking commercial:



I hate it.

In fact, I hate it so much that even if I was considering a motherfucking Corolla, which I'm not, I would buy ANY OTHER CAR EVER MADE. Including a Yugo.

Focus:

What commercials make you think, "I might have bought it, until I saw that"?

Alt-Focus:

What commercials were actually effective and made you go "Hey, I could be down with that"?

 

I would never buy one, but all the new Chevy commercials are light weight insulting. The "blind" brand test where people think its the coolest thing ever. I can't find it now, but the previous set before the current hatchback commercial had them asking "how much do you think this car costs" and people were saying $60-70K and were SHOCKED that it was only $19,900. As a car, they are fine and certainly look better than the mid 2000s Cavalier my ex drove, but don't insult me by having people act like they are looking at a 911.

 

Or there magic free LTE that works everywhere commercials. It is going to work the same places your phone is going to work, and you are going to have a separate bill for data.

Or the one where the dump bricks into the back of a chev and ford. You aren't going to be loading bricks like that in any circumstance, it is going to be on a pallet.

 

LIKE A ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucking commercials made me hate Bob Segar.

I was too young to buy it at the time, but if I wasn't I would go out of my way to not buy Wisk. Wisk is/was a bleach detergent , and if you're at least my age you remember their 1980's campaign where people would scream "RING AROUND THE COLLAR !!! RING AROUND THE COLLAR!!" at people with stains on their shirt collar. No commercial has come even CLOSE to being as obnoxious.

Also the one of the cartoon bear taking a dump against a tree and wiping his ass with the sort of smile a guy makes whilst blowing his load. We know what toilet paper is for, thanks. An animated demo isn't needed.

 

+1 on that Corolla commercial. Hate.

There's an ad out for Invakona (or something like that) to help you manage your diabetes. The ad plainly states the drug is designed to lower your blood sugar. Then later on, it states that one of the side effects may be low blood sugar. Alrighty then.

I hate this one. It was "meh" the first time, but now I've seen it a thousand times, since it plays during every football game.

I already didn't like the iPhone, and just think this is stupid. Like it's supposed to be some big reveal, but that only works once.

I also hate Pepsi, but I have to tip my cap for this, one of my favorite commercials of all time:


I've watched it so many times, that
- the guy that is walking and gets whacked in the head with the golf club is not the same dude that is in the tight shot when he gets up and says "I'm good"
- I know there was another version, where the guy who gets electrocuted says a more indistinguishable "no / go" because of the wire in his mouth that was later edited into "noooo" AND, when he is flung into the trailer, in the first version he didn't make a dent in it.

 

I still haven't seen the movies Avatar or Titanic, and I never will.

It's not that I hated the previews shown on TV themselves, but for both those movies the preview was aired multiple times in the SAME commercial break. I think they both actually happened during The Simpsons on Fox if memory serves. But that's what did it for me.

Maybe the fact they're both James Cameron movies that went on to break records with billions of dollars is a coincidence, maybe not. But fuck them and their over-advertising.

 

Fuck you nationwide, fuck you Peyton for agreeing to this, and fuck you Eli for looking like a downsyndrom penis.

 

Yes, absolutely: Save us from Peyton Fucking Manning. He's more in my face now than when he was actually playing.

It's not on YouTube, but the commercial for "First Time Flippers" on HGTV is awesome... Any time it comes on, the kids and I stop whatever it is we're doing to watch... They knock a door frame out of a door, and it absolutely destroys this woman's face. We've watched it a hundred times and it never stops being funny.

As far as Superbowl ads go, nothing beats this:

 

I think they only play on podcasts, but Geiko has a whole series of ads there that make me want to set them on fire. The ad is, no joke, them making up someone's bad facebook status updates and then saying that instead of those terrible updates, Geiko has updates worth sharing. It's nonsensical crap.

 

I haven't drank Blue since I was 21, but this is my favourite commercial of all time and it makes me like it:

 

I can barely stand lawyers, but the worst are the greasy leeches who run an entire practice off frivolous law suits.



These guys are ubiquitous down here. They advertise everywhere all the time. Billboards, tv, radio, internet, random road signs, you name it. The douchiest ads are on the radio (couldn't find it online) where they pretend to cry for someone's dog, or for that drunk driver who plowed over 4 people and the insurance company wouldn't cover all the damages. There is no lawsuit too frivolous or ridiculous for them to take on.

This pretty much sums up their practice.

 

FOCUS: What commercials make you think, "I might have bought it, until I saw that"?

There's about a 100% chance that I would never buy a Chrysler - let alone a Chrysler minivan - but I dig the whole "kick a side panel and the door opens" feature. A lot. Just taking Mini-Me to school requires seven hands and a xanax, and those are my work-from-home days - when I have to be in the office, I sacrifice my morning coffee just so I could open the fucking door for my kid.

(No, I'm not making multiple trips because I'm stubborn, and yes, my daughter carries as much as she can without tipping over.)

So maybe I would buy a Chrysler...

 

Wait. Is that Charlie Crist? Is that what he does now?

 

This dude is a really prominent personal injury attorney in Milwaukee who has been making "One Call, Thats All!" slogan commercials for 20 years. However, they are all dubbed, and dubbed poorly. I honestly thought he was deaf or mentally handicapped when I was a kid cause the lip synching is so bad. Then I saw him at an event and realized he's just a normal, filthy rich lawyer with bad commericials.

 

Gruber? Did his first case involve the Nakatomi Plaza explosion?

 

I don't play Madden Football, but if I did, there is 100% chance I would start Von Miller. Even if he sucked. Because THIS



Is damn catchy

 

Chris Bosh had some funny commercials back in the day when he wanted to be on the All Star team from Toronto: