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Human Test Subject Needed For Time Machine

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by audreymonroe, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I don't have a terribly creative lead-in to this except for this link to a Craigslist ad from a guy looking for human test subjects for his time machine that he swears works. It's hilarious. And it got me thinking.

    Focus: Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong time? Is there a time period you look at and think "Yeah, that sounds about right to me."

    Alt-focus: Regardless of fitting in, which part of history would you like to travel back to just to check it out?

    I think I would make an awesome Beatnik. If I could, I would go back to the heyday of the Village, hang out with the Beats, and make a lot of sweet love to Kerouac, if he was feeling into women that day.

    [​IMG]
    Unf.

    Similarly, I can also easily imagine myself doing the "La vie Boheme" thing in Montmartre with all the artists and expat writers, spending my days drinking heavily in a romantically shabby apartment, banging away on a typewriter, and having passionate love affairs.

    For the alt-focus, I'd love to go hang out in the sixties. What a crazy time. It's so over the top that I often think I have to see it to believe that it was just that crazy. I'd have to do this twice, though - once as a hippie, and then another as a mod in London.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    Sadly, Kerouac would likely be too busy either accepting or trying to get out of a hummer from Allen Ginsberg to pay you much attention, but you could give it a shot. If you pretended to be a wealthy heiress I think you'd stand a better chance of holding his attention.

    Me, I would relocate my birth to Mountain View, CA in about 1957-8 so I could get a job writing Atari 2600 games right out of college, make a mint, and then retire to a life of boating and listening to hair bands. A guy can dream, right?
     
  3. lostalldoubt86

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    I was in high school for those few years when everyone was obsessed with the 80s, so I think I would fit in there.

    Although, if I completely ignore gender roles from various decades, I would travel back to about the 1950s, when Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol. This is due mainly to the fact that I have the same body type as Marylin, and I imagine I was get so much super sexy ass. Either that, or I would go back right before Paul Newman met Joanne Woodward and I would try to sleep with him.
     
  4. scootah

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    I still think I was born 30 years too early. Given the power to travel through time, I'd just skip out until the whole gay marriage thing was considered as ridiculous as actually arguing about letting darkies sit at the front of the bus if they wanted too. And to a time when neural mesh interfaces were working and memory archives with search functions were online and fully functional.

    Fuck the past. The future is where it's at.
     
  5. JoshP

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    This came to mind right away. Make sure he adds the crystals.
    [​IMG]

    When I was in the service all my buddies told me that I belonged in mid evil times wielding a two handed battle ax.

    I always thought it would be cool to see Rome in the peak of it's empire, also to sell junk bonds in the 80's and make millions a day.
     
  6. FreeCorps

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    Actually the first thing that came to mind was http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/.

    I would go back to Incan times, around the 1500's, get there before the Spaniards and have them worship me as their rightful god. Then I would repel the false gods, and keep the Inca Empire strong. For the motherland!
     
  7. Kubla Kahn

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    Being as obsessed with Deadwood as I am, I'd love to live in the old west. Travel around and see the big events first hand. I'd like to kick it with Wyatt Earp and see if the legend was anywhere near true. From what I've read his depiction in the Deadwood series could be closer to the truth and that he and his brothers were more shady opportunist than upstanding law men.

    Outside of just learning the historical things I really don't think I am to cut out for the rough and toil heavy life of the old west. I think Schootah is right, I'd take the future with the sexbots.
     
  8. bewildered

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    I'd like to live in a nomadic tribe during the last ice age. 2 reasons:
    1) Mammoth steaks
    2) No more 115 degree Alabama weather. Yeeeaaah!
     
  9. Kubla Kahn

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    I saw the movie with the guy from Hellboy, it'd all be humping unwilling chick apes. Two benefits, no pesky DNA test AND you are helping propagate the species. Win win for the guys.
     
  10. bewildered

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    Hey there, they wouldn't be ape chicks! I'm not sure what the social hierarchies were exactly (ask an anthropologist, they might have a better idea), but humans sapiens evolved, complete with today's brain function and DNA, more than 50,000 years ago. The last ice age ended around 10,000 years ago.

    I kind of doubt it was a big rape fest. I think humans are too smart for that to have lasted too long. It might have been like wolves, where one alpha dude got all the chicks, or maybe people paired off, or maybe there were little harems. Who knows.
     
  11. Kubla Kahn

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    What ever, as a time traveler OF COARSE you'd take a gun and rule over these people like a god.
     
  12. FreeCorps

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    Oh?
     
    #12 FreeCorps, Jul 28, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. bewildered

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    Of COURSE I would. Along with some other equally impressive technology. Eventually I sleep, and the last thing I need is some caveman to steal my firestick.
     
  14. Lasersailor

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    I don't think it would matter exactly which period, but I'd like to go back in time just to see if I can recreate modern technology / machinery or some semblance of it from nothing. And then be revered as a god / burnt at the stake.
     
  15. JWags

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    I don't know if I would want to live in another time. All things considered, modern time is pretty awesome. And while it would be great to live in wine flowing, orgy having Rome, the short ass life expectancy and lack of human hygiene would take some luster off of that.

    In terms of visiting, I would probably Gilded Age (late 19th early 20th century) through the roaring 20s. One of my weird interests/obsessions has always been grandiose historical mansions. Not the 7500 sq ft McMansions we have now, but the 20000 sq ft mansions railroad magnets would build and take up a whole city block or their giant country estate that needed staffs of 50 for the gardens and grounds. To see that era and those homes in their glory would be awesome. Back when the South Side of Chicago was the place to live on giant boulevards next to Marshall Field, Pullman, and Armour. Now 90% of those badass places are knocked down or turned into stupid shit, so its less awesome. But walking past, for example you Chicagoans, the mansions catty corner on Erie and Wabash makes you stop and think, damn.

    And again, if I wasn't filthy rich, living then wouldn't have been great cause chances are I would have gotten TB or run over by a streetcar. I'll take my AC, well maintained vaginas, and penicillin of the modern days.
     
  16. Nettdata

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    #16 Nettdata, Jul 28, 2011
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  17. Nom Chompsky

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    I could try to say this cleverly, but it would never approach how well they say it:



     
    #17 Nom Chompsky, Jul 28, 2011
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  18. dubyu tee eff

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    Yep. I like having medicine and cool technology and want to see it get cooler. Not to mention any time before 1985 or so wasn't so great for us colored folk. I'm either going forward or staying right where I am. The past was a bitch.
     
  19. Roxanne

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    I think I recall doing this thread before. Either way, my answer is the same.

    Old West. Eternal gunfights and pony rides. Decentralized government still worked decently, the world was vast and bountiful, and you could do whatever the fuck you wanted as long as you had two hands and enough grit to make it happen.

    Also it was easier to shoot people and get away with it. Ah, the good ol' days...
     
  20. AlmostGaunt

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    Fixed. Also, TWO hands? I guess your hands are smaller than mine.

    Yeah, now you have to drown them. Too soon?