Huh...that was pretty weird.

So I had a dream last night where, at one point, a man who I didn't know approached me on the street and said, "I've got an ass full of soap and a belly full of farts. Let's do this." Then he turned and started aggressively roller blading away with a stream of bubbles coming out of his shorts.

Brain, you never disappoint.

 

I had a dream the other night where I had a suit case with $1 million in it and I was just handing out money around a neighborhood. Fist-fulls of cash. It's funny because the last thing I'd ever do with a bunch of money is give it to someone else.

 

Anyone ever have sleep paralysis? Dreaming, but you were almost conscious and could not wake up because your brain didn't shut off properly? My brain woke up in the middle of the dream, but my body did not. Then again, that scenario could have been the dream. I'm not sure now. So in this partial dream I am screaming my ass off and shaking, trying to flail my arms. Then I begin to actually wake up, just enough to start moaning for help, but I still can't control my goddamn limbs or wake up fully. As I recall, my brain is switched on, but still technically asleep. Finally managed to roll off the couch where I woke up completely. That is a living fucking hell. This happens way too goddamn often; happened for the third or fourth time now. Poor cat sleeping between my legs almost got his ass crushed.

 

Yes. That happens to me a lot if I try to take a mid-day nap. It's pretty creepy actually. I can move my eyes, but nothing else, and I'm usually irrationally scared when it happens.

 

I don't usually remember my dreams, and when I do, it's usually just a fragment. So the fragment from last night--I'm driving home from my office in Arlington, TX and decide to turn onto a street I hadn't been on before. As I'm driving, the street becomes more and more familiar when I realize it's the route we took to my grandmother's house. In Elizabeth, NJ. And I didn't even have to stop for gas.

 

Last night I dreamed I was in my downstairs family room headed out the back door, when Olivia and Astrid from the tv show Fringe stopped me and told me I couldn't go out there for undisclosed reasons. After pleading with them, telling them that I simply MUST get to my shed to retrieve an item (cant remember what it is now), and their continued refusals, I promptly made a fist with my left hand with my ring finger slightly extended and punched Olivia squarely in the temple, knocking her out. Astrid got the same treatment with my right. I headed out the back door to the shed and began rummaging around. Random people I dont know followed me into the shed asking what I was looking for, and I told them I would tell them when I found it.

I have no clue what the second part in the shed was about, but I think I punched Olivia and Astrid because I told my sister I wanted to punch Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend in the face for giving a baby girl such a stupid name.

 

Last night, I had a dream that, had it been more detailed, would be my new Coolest Dream Ever. As it was, it was disjointed as dreams almost always are, had several things going on that didn't make sense, and didn't live up to its potential. The coolest part was that I was a fighter pilot, flying WWII-style fighter planes, against a bombing blitz being waged against Las Vegas. The raid alarms were going off (just a flashing light, maybe some sort of klaxon in the background, but not typical air raid sirens), and I was going to my plane with the lyrics to "Aces High" running through my head...

No actual flying the plane and shooting down bombers, though. Some other night...

 

Just because this thread's so popular: I had one last night in which my dad and I were watching the news, at the house 1700 miles away from me that neither my parents nor I live in anymore, when one of the news items was some guy running for national office as a Republican walking up to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and kissing him on the lips. The look on Ahmadinejad's face was pretty much what you'd expect.

 

Whew, I had one last night that was tailor-made for this thread. It was in segments, Kurosawa-style.

It started out watching a fruit vendor and his wife in an Arab souk. Their teenage son came running up the street and slipped flat on his back, and a giant ax came out of the curb and after three whacks cut him in half at the waist. Then they started screaming.

Second, I hear a voice that says, "It's an honor to meet the warden!" And a cartoon warden who looked like the Monopoly guy came out of a door with a shotgun and started blowing away big cartoon pigeons. Then suddenly the kids from South Park were hooked up to electric cables and given shock therapy. I distinctly remember Cartman yelling, "Holy fuck!"

Next, I'm in a pickup truck (riding shotgun, no idea who was driving). In front it's night and I can see the outlines of hills and trees, and there are ghostly chalk outline animations of psychedelic shapes and lights. I said, "Vince would love this, it's so trippy." (Vince was one of several general managers I had at work, and I barely talked with the guy, so I have no idea where that came from). I do remember thinking, "I'll need to have this dream again on mushrooms."

Then I was out on a savannah, and two anthropomorphic cheetahs were fucking. As if that wasn't random enough, the male had a giant red cock, like a Hustler cartoon, and the female was having multiple orgasms in a woman's voice.

Finally, a bunch of SAS guys in gas masks were attacking Scottish highlanders up a hill, and the highlanders were defending themselves with wet cement, pouring it out of mixers. I swing in on a rope like Tarzan and kick the highlanders in their heads like something out of Naked Gun.

At that point I actually woke up and sat there this morning for a few minutes after that one. I'd taken two belts of Nyquil before bed yesterday to get rid of the lingering effects of a cold. The damn thing was so bizarre I don't know if I'd want to repeat that just as an experiment. I know the SAS guys came from recently getting hooked on Modern Warfare 3, and I watched Braveheart not long ago, which explains the highlanders. Everything else is a complete mystery.

 

Another one of those dreams that incorporates elements that I feel I've dreamed before. I was being told about someone breaking into a shop through a large window, which for some reason was incredibly significant. Also, this guy had written some sort of famous song, but only I knew that he was in fact a cannibalistic murderer. Yeah. And then I killed him. Then came the really fun part where I half-awoke, saw one of my dad's dogs standing against my bed, blinked and he was gone. I knew he couldn't be there, and I knew I had left my door open, but I also had the unshakeable feeling I had closed and locked my bedroom door before going to bed. I compulsively searched the apartment half-expecting to get jumped by an axe murderer before spending ten minutes in bed with my eyes wide open, paranoid that the glow from my alarm clock was not only brighter, but an evil bright.

So the moral of the story is, you don't need drugs if you're me. Not the illegal kind at least.

 

I've already told him about this so I figure I might as well share it with you all as well. I had a dream the other night that I walked in on Bundy Bear banging my mom.

 

I just had the most bizarre dream involving a fictitious episode of "King of the Hill." (If you are unfamiliar with that show and its characters, read up here.)

So anyway, one day Peggy is out in the back yard, when she hears a strange noise coming from next door. She looks over the fence to see Minh Souphanousinphone laying down butt-naked, spread-eagled on a towel, queefing! Peggy is obviously taken aback by this strange sight, and asks what is going on. Mihn explains that when she is feeling stressed, queefing helps her relax. Peggy is intrigued by this, and Mihn teaches her how to queef on command. They start having regular queefing sessions, and the next thing you know, LuAnn and Nancy are doing it, too.
Finally they all decide to have a queefing competition (I'm not sure what the criteria for winning was), and they bring in some washed-up celebrity to be the judge. Mihn ended up winning.

I don't know what to make of that, folks, I surely don't. But it was fun watching in my head.

 

I had a really bizarre dream last night, but it didn't sink in entirely until tonight, while I'm trying to go to sleep, how fucked up and awful it was. So now I'm going to type it out here because I think it would horrify Boyfriend even more than it did me. Spoilered because nightmare.

Spoiler

I was having sextuplets, and the first one came out ok, but the second one was still born, and I was afraid to keep having the rest for fear they'd all be dead. The hospital I was at was creepy and weird, and my hospital gown was made out of clear plastic, like those awful raincoats. The rest of the babies were ok, but then I had 5 babies and felt totally overwhelmed, and I had to figure out what to do about the baby that didn't live; whether to give it a funeral or not, casket or cremation, etc.

Now I can't sleep.

 

i had a dream last night that i had twin baby girls - one was white, one was black.
last week, i had a dream that instead of a human baby, i gave birth to a goat.
three weeks ago, i dreamed that i beat the ever loving shit out of my husband.

these dreams are getting out of hand.

 

Last night was fun. I dreamt I was trapped in Disney's Magic Kingdom with Walter White and Jesse from Breaking Bad, and we were cooking meth with Mickey Mouse and Goofy.

 

I'm going to Thailand next week, so I've been prescribed with some Malaria tablets. The nurse informed me that they'll give me "intesenly sexual" dreams. Can anyone vouch for this?

I'm tossing up (hey yo!) just taking the entire prescription and staying home for the two weeks.

 

Doxycycline, I've been given them before while deployed to East Timor and yeah a lot of people get the crazy dreaming side affect.

 

What were you prescribed?. I had vivid dreams while taking Doxy as a malarial, but not specifically sexual. I've also taken Malarone, but that didn't induce the crazy dreams.

If they gave you Mefloquine then you can look forward to some psychosis with your crazy dreams.