I was talking to an old classmate that I used to be great friends with in high school. We hadn't really been caught up in a few years and got a few beers and he told me a hilarious story that I felt needed to be shared here. To give some background, my friend was going away to school and this took place in the final weeks of his freshman year of college. He had obtained a fake ID [it was just his older brothers, who looked very similar to him as the picture was of an 18year old version of his brother. My friend was 18 at this time]. Anyways, he went to the bar and one of the huge positives to this at the time was that he could make up whatever story he wanted and nobody could really bust him as nobody his age was going to be there. It was also a bar that was slightly out of town. Anyways, so after going to a local bar on some weekend nights every once in awhile my friend sees the most attractive female he had ever seen. He shares a brief moment with her at the bar and is shellshocked. He sees her again the following weekend around the same time. He briefly talks to her and is basically stuck on this girl and decides then and there, "I'm going to go to whatever necessary lengths to bang this girl or I will never forgive myself." This girl treats my friend rather rudely in nearly every instance the times he sees her at the bar. This girl was 23 years old, my friend was 18. My friend had a decent amount of savings [mostly didn't spend his student loan] and came up with a ridiculous plan. He decided he was just going to bullshit the fuck out of this chick knowing that nobody can call his ass out. The next time he goes to the bar and meets her he has a new level of confidence. He introduces himself to the girl formally for the first time and buys her a drink. He makes small talk and the topic of what do you do for a living comes up. My friend said he was the CEO of a new upstart company [and this is where I sort of didn't catch all the deets, but it had me confused so I could only imagine it working on some ignorant bar slut] and she doesn't seem too impressed. He knew for some reason that she wouldn't be. Travel comes up and he mentions he is going to Hawaii the following weekend, for no reason. All of a sudden she is a little more impressed, and has actually never been. He says, "Want to go this weekend?" She obviously thinks he is joking, and my friend assures her that he is serious. After a long back and forth over the seriousness of the question, she says if she sees a ticket she will believe it. They even work out that the dates work out for her. My friend buys two tickets to Hawaii. First class. He by now obviously had her number and called her and asked where to meet so he can give her her ticket. My friend then sets this up so he looks like a fucking G. He said he called the hotel he was staying at ahead of time, and told the manager or someone that whoever gives him his key for the hotel will receive $50 for addressing him by name and making some small talk to make it seem like he is a regular. He says he will be wearing something you can tell him by. He actually goes with her to Hawaii. The hotel staff actually honors his wishes. He said he banged her in the hotel room right then and there once they got up there. He then says they went to dinner, where he had a similar arrangement with the wait staff and host at that place. He rails the fuck out of her again in the hotel. During the middle of the night, he gets up and boards a plane back home. He sells her return ticket home back for money. Focus: What is the craziest, most fucked up, most awkward/embarrassing, or funniest thing you have ever done to get your nut off? Were you caught or were you successful?