I really think you're reaching for something that's not there. There's NO way that black chicks in porn is supposed to be a novelty or rare. Now THIS IS A NOVELTY, one that you can't unsee. Ebony, in this case, is a classification. Like BBW, or Asian, or MILF, or whatever other fetish or niche of porn there is. If these guys had it right, then I'm pretty sure we can tell everyone else who's bitching about it to fuck the hell off, because I can't think of a blacker black guy or a whiter white guy. And your whole concept of why black chicks are in porn is absurd. We all know it's because their baby-daddies aren't paying support and they need their crack. But don't be racist by saying it's only white guys that have fantasies about fucking black chicks. You telling me that black guys, or Asians, or Mexicans, don't have fantasies about black chicks? Of course they do.
Only two things for me, my real number (it's not super high but I tend to date goody goody girls), and the fact that I've slept with prostitutes. I figure since I'm clean, don't have any kids, and there's no footage of me on the internet it basically never happened as far as she's concerned. I could really care less if people know about all the nerdy shit I've done/do, except for playing D&D in high school, that one is pretty embarrassing.
I've never had a thing for black girls in particular above and beyond other races, but for some reason this scene from The Wire was always a revelation of sorts for me: NSFW http://www.hornyiq.com/media/471/The_Wire_Lesbian_Scene_HOT/
Think of it this way: when was the last time you saw a porn movie, featuring an all-white cast, marketed as "WHITE PORN"? The fact that it's categorized and marketed separately is the very definition of novelization. You're sort of arguing for my point; being attracted, even primarily, to black women is not racism. It's just being a person. However, Having a "black FETISH" has sort of racist undertones. The idea that the woman in it being black (or asian, or latina) thrusts (see what I did there?) the porn into the fetish category with fisting, feet, watersports etc. is in and of itself a vaguely racist notion. I don't know this Mormon dude from Adam but there's a whole lot of porn that presents anything that isn't white as intrinsically exotic. And as a non-white porn consumer, it makes me feel conflicted. Which is the last thing you want with dick in hand.
Not to pick nits over the definition of novelization, but: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.yourdictionary.com/novelization" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.yourdictionary.com/novelization</a> And all I was saying is that categorizing something as "Ebony" is not racist. It just means it's not the norm. And sure, the vast majority of porn is directed at white dudes... black guys are all pimps with classy rides and big dicks, so they don't need porn. And I'm a bit hammered myself, so I think I'm going to go drunk text the ex-wife's latest husband making fun of his Greek heritage, and revisit things tomorrow to see just how fucked up it is.
I'm into black chicks an awful lot from a pure looks perspective, especially Brazilians. I think the average hot black girl looks better than one from any other race. I don't think it's a surprise for anyone that knows me, since I regularly approach and hit on them, and have had a couple of girlfriends of that skin color. As for porn, I have seen every single race, look, height, size, etc. Don't see what the big deal is. The only thing I would want to keep from my spouse, at least at first, is a part of my psychological make-up. I don't think it has ever come out in my actions yet, but my way of viewing people and their lives has become unusual and demented in the last few years.
I'd definitely have to keep how self centered I am from a future spouse. I'm not saying that in an attempt to sound cool, but I find it quite hard to relate to people's problems. I usually just fake it, but on the inside I honestly don't care. Also, I'm into goat play.
I used to smooth over the details of my drug addiction with past boyfriends. My current boyfriend, who I have been with for years, knows the gritty details but before him I was too ashamed to admit how bad things had actually gotten for me. I was one step above full on junkie (the step above being that I had a home and could form sentences when I had to) but was using every sort of drug under the sun and had been for years. Thankfully things have changed 100% and I don't use anything other then pot but I still feel really sad about how much time I wasted in my late teens and early 20's.
I can't imagine that I would ever voluntarily share TiB with any future boyfriends. Somehow, I doubt he would appreciate my drunken ramblings about the numerous dudes I've slept with.
There is no good that can come from a discussion about numbers. Someone's going to think the other is a liar, slut, or prude. What would I hide? The couple of e-friends I have. I have about 3 friends that I've met from the internet via RMMB or AOL (back in the day) that I talk to on a pretty regular basis. I would be really embarrassed for a boyfriend/spouse to know that's how we met. Fortunately, I've moved around enough times that I think a boyfriend would assume that I became friends with them along the way.
I keep this place a secret. I need somewhere to hide out. When my girlfriend and I moved, we were going through all of our stuff and she had one of my old boxes I hadn't opened since college. I told her to let me go through it and set it aside for later. I couldn't remember exactly what was in it, but I knew I didn't want her opening it. Turns out it had every girl's phone number I had gotten since high school. She and I had been dating for several years and I couldn't remember the last time I called any of the girls, but it would have been a little hard to explain why I had a fucking box full of girls phone numbers. Since then I have gone through everything I own and removed any trace of other women. The only other thing I attempt to hide from her now is my gas. Having dogs helps.
When I met my wife, I was partying hard to wash a really bad memory away from the previous year. For the first year I saw her, I didn't let on how much shit I was into. I was distant from her since it was my first relationship in four years (my previous one sucked a whole bunch and I wanted to be single forever) but she was tolerant and put up with some serious bullshit with me. Nowadays, I need to hide nothing from her. Every relationship is going to have chinks in the armour, but it's sooooo much less stressful if you're not lying to one another, like I was to her.
Heh, whereas I met my wife LARPing so I don't have to worry about it. As some people have said, it's not worth the effort and stress to bother hiding these sorts of quirks from your spouse. I suppose the closest I have to a secret is this message board, but if she asked what message board it actually is that I occasionally mention, I'd tell her.