Honey, there's a Mr. Death here about the reaping.

Have we done a Death Clock thread?

I saw this thing http://flowingdata.com/2015/09/23/years-you-have-left-to-live-probably/ and you can run the "simulator" to see your probable lifespan. But, it doesn't take into account if you're overweight or smoke or whatever. So, I ran this: http://www.death-clock.org



And, my predicted exact date of death is my sister's birthday. Gee, I hope she's gone by then, as that would be a bummer for her at the nursing home. (My age is over the average for males by two years.)

Focus: When will you die, according to the death clock?
Alt. Focus: Which of your behaviors / factors have the most impact on your date?

 

Really? I hadn't known anyone to get over 100 years, yet. Does the ISP you're using matter? I tried several variables for someone born February 14, 1986, and the only way I got more than 88 years old, was to change the sex to female. Are you actually a woman?! I guess that makes more sense why you have the hots for shegirl, then.

 

I figured they'd tell me I actually died 2 years ago.

I got 61, which is better, I guess, if I wasn't on the threshold of 50 already.

 

Based on our calculations you will die on: Monday, 13th June 2033

You will live to be 70 years, 7 months and 9 days old!

Sounds about right. One side of my family lives into their late 80's-90's, the other side dies around 70.

 

In response to rep, I realize that there are "average" predictors and actuarial tables that go into predicting the date on the deathclock website. But, if I provide the same input every time, I always get the same exact date. So, I was curious how Juice got 101 . . . i.e. I might be interested in adding 5 years to my life.

I can't change my birthdate, improve my BMI, I don't smoke, and I have an optimistic outlook (well, until I found out when I'm dying . . .). So, the only things I can change are alcohol consumption or moving to Japan. If I move to Japan, I get a few years. If I change alcohol consumption from 2 times a week* to never, I get 10 years. 10 years! What about all those studies that keep saying 1 glass of wine or a beer every day is good for you?! Plus, I drink enough coffee to override the liver damage, according to the latest study. Right?

*I lied. By 2 times a week, I mean, 2 drinks a day. "Daily" consumption as an input knocks me down another 5 years. I might as well start smoking and stop exercising.

 

I'm going to live to be 94. Long enough to watch most of my friends and family die. Hurray.

 

After watching what my mother, aunts. uncles and grandparents went through in old age, I'm more then happy to check out early. Bedridden and completely dependent on others does not appeal to me in the least.

 

Says I'm supposed to live to be 81. Wish there was a quality of life thing associated with that. If I'm 81 and going out with dementia, I have an issue, that sucks. If I'm 81 and still spry but died falling off a tree stand or something, that's cool. Point is, by the time I get that old, if I'm going out I want to be dying of something. Natural causes means you led a boring life.

 

Focus: Sunday February 13, 2028. Still won't have a date for Valentine's that year, as I will be calling in dead.

Worse still, I'd only be 45 at that date. So basically less than 12 years.

I don't smoke and drink much less and much less frequently than I used to. I have pretty much stopped eating meat except if I am out-and-about and hungry. I have also mostly cut out dairy. My asthma is also way more controlled now than any other time in my life.

Alt. Focus: I think the biggest aspect is being in South Africa, as the website likely assumes everyone gets shot on a daily basis. No, that only happens at Universities and soccer matches. Yes, I do have a pessimistic outlook on life, mostly as nothing has happened to swing my way of thinking. Most likely, I will still be alive beyond that date. What a crock.

EDIT: Gave up trying to link the picture as the link kept breaking. Possibly as the website knows it is full of shit.

 

I'm at 70. Maybe a little young, but I'm hoping that means a boating accident or something like that too. Dying slowly is at the bottom of my list.

My grandpa died at 69 while fishing by himself, was cremated, and had his remains spread around his favorite old fishing hole. I wish he was still around but I bet that's exactly how he wanted to go. My other grandpa is the toughest old stubborn sumbitch I know, still milking cows once a day at 87 years old, so part of me wonders if I will end up living that long too. We'll see.

 

I will die on 2/14/59. I'll be 75. Maybe I'll be gumming my husband's dick for his Valentine's Day BJ. Just kidding. I have great teeth. There will be no gumming.

The biggest predictor was my alcohol consumption. I picked "daily", but the truth is something between daily and 2x/wk. Why isn't there a 2-5x/wk option?

 

So If I'm of a neutral outlook I hit 78, if I'm optimistic I get to 86. We all know my liver is going to pack it in before then though.

 

62 and I'm done for. Not even going to make it to retirement.

I did this a few years ago and it was something like 74. The info I put in hasn't really changed. I'm guessing the lifespan chopping on smoking went way up.

Everyone in my family dies of cancer, even the people who don't smoke so I have that to look forward to. Either that or one of the stunts I've called adventurous as a euphemism will get me. Daredevil bordering on Darwin Award is probably more accurate.

 

Mine said 74. If I cut my bmi a few points and cut my drinking back a little, I could probably live into perpetuity. Though cancer seems to take a bite out of both sides of my family.

This is bullshit. Years of power lifting and bodybuilding skews my bmi, I get it, I carry extra weight but not that much body fat. They need to find a way to adjust this, there is nuance when discussing 6'3" 265lbs.

 

And apparently my dad has 4 years left.

Based on our calculations you will die on: Thursday, 27th February 2020

Bummer that he didn't live to hear this news.

 

I have a friend who is a nutritionist. She works a lot with people who have diet-induced diabetes. During one of her first meetings with them, she shows them this or something similar to try and wake them up. Seeing the result at less than 5 years starts to hit home. (I didn't notice until now that this one won't let you choose over 295 pounds.)

 

I will live to be 86. Average lifespan around here says 78. So I'll get to see Halley's Comet twice in my life but not my country's bicentennial.

 

The whole thing is pretty suspect, but technically it's <25 not 25. So, being at the threshold or under is equally life-span predictor-y. I guess if you're anorexic, that's cool?