HOLY SHIT!!! IT'S A FUCKING NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.........

This morning I woke up to two dogs jumping on me and licking my face, which was not so bad, but since it was early I just ignored them for a while. After a few minutes of spaz puppies I decided it was time to kick them out and go back to sleep. It was at that point that I realized they were covered in mud, and had managed to get it on my duvet cover, sheets, all 3 of my pillow cases, my laptop and the pile of clean clothes I was too lazy to fold last night. Hello laundry day. Probably not my worst wake up, but certainly enough to make it a cranky morning.

 

Your Dad is fucking awesome, I am laughing so hard right now picturing your face when you woke up.

 

Crown posted the lipstick slingshot wake up before and it reminded me of the vader prank. Absolutely love this.

 

During my freshman year, I broke up with a girl whom I had dated over some of December and winter break.

The next morning, I was woken up to find that my roommate left early for class and she had snuck into my dorm room. There she was, a foot from my head and furiously yelling at me. She stayed in my room for probably 20 minutes and was demanding to know the "real reason" why I broke up with her was and other bullshit. Reasons why I broke up with her aside (she was a cold, arrogant bitch), it was traumatizing to say the least. I asked my roommate to lock the door after he left for class that afternoon.

Alt-focus (sort of): The same year, I had a buddy visit from another college in Minneapolis. He didn't drink much but wanted to party, so needless to say he ended up passing out pretty hard on my futon at the end of the night. I sleep quite well when I'm hammered and because I was drunk too I didn't hear someone enter the room in the middle of the night (yeahhh we were drunk enough to leave the door unlocked). That morning, I woke up to seeing a blonde haired girl in my roommates bed. My buddy woke up then too so for a minute we sat there in shock. My roommate had never, ever brought a girl back for the night yet. However, when she woke up, she was alone. It was a bit of the surprise.

She apologized and ran out of the room. Later, I heard that she was looking for another room in the dorm- it had the same number as mine, but was in the level below.

 

FOCUS:

The worst wake-up I've experienced was after a night of heavy drinking at a friends house. His parents were away so we did what 17 year olds do and get drunk and try and sleep with girls. Black-out drunk ensues. I was shaken from my slumber by cries of disgust. I opened my eyes to see my friends parents were screaming at me for my lack of respect. I look around and i'm in an unfamiliar room. Their room.

They've come home early to find me in their bed lying next to an equally naked girl. I tried to jump up and explain but my nudity caused them to leave the room with strict orders to get out of the house.

I'm still unwelcome there.

ANTI-FOCUS:

House-sitting for my uncle, i had a couple of friends over for quiet drinks, not wanting to ruin the house with a party. The next morning, we decided to wake one guy up by beating him with pillows. Nothing too harmful.

3 or so strikes each and the victim starts swinging at anything within reach as we back away. Our laughing turns to shocked expressions as he grabs a bedside lamp and hurls it in his drowsy rage. Thinking quickly, unlike me, my friend drops his pillow and punches him in the mouth, leaving him sprawling on the floor. We both jump on top of him until he has calmed down.

His reaction was worth the expense of the lamp.

 

Similar to Mistake's post:

I was over at a friend's lakehouse around freshman year of college where we had abuot 5 guys and 5 slightly younger girls, and my buddy's parents sort of "supervising." Never sounded like the greatest idea but the girls were hot and my parents had a lakehouse not far away, so we figured if it was lame we could always just bounce and spend the rest of the weekend at my place. So the parents are cool at first, pretty much leaving us alone to drink and do our own thing, but then at the end of the night the Dad makes a long speech about what would "not be happening" that night as he quarantined the girls upstairs, and made a makeshift barricade on the only staircase I guess for effect.. Needless to say, I was the only one willing to challenge the Sherriff and decided to make my way upstairs and try my luck. My luck was good, until I was woken up to the folded arms and beaming eyes of the guy's Dad as he looked at me in bed with one of the girls, in a room with several others. On top of that, to save face one of the girls immediately says, "we told him to get out but he wouldn't listen!!!" So now not only am I the disrespecting pervert but also a potential attempted rapist. As I look at her like she's lost her freaking mind and glance at my girl for some kind of support, she just nods her head in confirmation of what was said. He drove me home immediately, I was less than pleased...

 

I sleep in real late. In like 4th grade my friend was supposed to come over early in the morning, and I was still out like a light when he got here. He and my dad decided to have a bit of fun by blowing an airhorn right in my ear. I jumped at least a foot in the air, fell off my bed and smacked my face on my bedside table on the way down. I wanted to murder both of them.

 

As long as we're posting videos of people being woken up in horrible ways, here's one of my favorites:

 

After I'd been living in this building for about two years, they reactivated the fire alarms inside the apartments. I was aware of this when it was first done, but the alarm didn't go off for probably a year after that. In the middle of the night. brraaaa-AAAA! brraaaa-AAAA! A couple months later, it happened again. Worst. Wakeup. Ever.

I sleep on the couch, now. I can't wait to buy a fucking house.

 

If you are not a cat owner, let me assure you that 99% of the time I'm thrilled with my feline companions. This 1% of the time makes me wonder if they'd be better off at the local Korean joint.

My cats know if they try to bother me for food in the morning, they're not going to get to square one. I yell, throw shit at them and do my best to remain asleep. They're smart enough to bother Mr. Pink, who will get up and attend to them.

On the very rare occasions he sleeps through their meowing, nipping at appendages not covered by blankets and other such distractions, they will come annoy the hell out of me. But one time, they collaborated and came up with a horrid wakeup.

Combined they weigh about 30 pounds. And they're not declawed. So, imagine some entity jumping onto the bed, claws out...aimed right for your back.

I leapt in the air and screamed while they flew out of the room at mach speed. I took a few seconds to calm my shattered nerves and rapid heartbeat and while I did this, they glanced into the room to admire their handiwork. Fuckers.

Worst wakeup ever.

 

My worst wake-up occurred roughly 17 years ago or so while I was attending first year university. The university was in a different city so I was going to have move out of my parents’ house, but I really didn’t want to live in the dorms. Thankfully my grandparents owned a rental unit in this city, and agreed to let me stay there while I attended university. It was an older two story house that had been divided into two units; the main floor and the upstairs. I got to stay in the upstairs for the 4 years. It was the equivalent of a 2 bedroom apartment, with its own kitchen, bathroom, and entrance. I moved in late August and started going to school.

One night sometime in November, I woke up around 3 am. There was no particular reason that I woke up. Just the usual “wake-up, look at the clock, and fall back asleep 30 seconds later” type of thing. Except that this time, when I opened my eyes to look at the clock, there was a girl standing next to my bed. I can still picture her in my mind. Thin, with pale skin, straight shoulder length dark hair, 18 to 20 years old, dressed normally, and somewhat transparent. She was staring straight ahead, arms down her sides, with a completely blank expression on her face. Picture someone standing at attention. She stood around the level of my knees, very close to the bed. Needless to say I went from half asleep to wide-the-fuck-awake.

I immediately pushed myself up and while keeping my eyes firmly on her, started reaching around blindly with my right arm for the lamp on the nightstand. It was one of those swivelling/extendable metal Pixar lamps, with a small rotary switch on the top of the lamp. As I’m flailing around with my arm, the girl turns left 90 degrees so that she’s now facing the nightstand, and starts moving towards it parallel to the bed. Her motion was very fluid, very smooth, almost gliding. The entire time she just kept staring straight ahead, not moving her head or arms. She never looked at me. By now, I’ve managed to locate the lamp but I’m still feeling for the switch. She keeps moving towards the nightstand and starts to walk thru it.

The most vivid mental image I have from that night is looking down to my hand, on the lamp, as she walked thru both. I didn’t feel anything as she walked thru. There was no cold feeling; no moving air. She proceed to enter the wall behind me and disappeared into it as I finally managed to click the lamp on. From waking up to her disappearing into the wall was maybe 4 to 5 seconds. I sat there for a couple minutes, heart pounding and hands trembling, trying to process what had just happened. After walking around to make sure I was actually alone, I ended up turning on all the lights and just sitting up in bed the rest of night, too wired to sleep.

Nothing else ever happened after that night, so I tend to think that I was hallucinating since I had just woken up from a relatively deep sleep. Still, it scared the crap out of me that night.