Hmm. So does anybody know any sites that have hi resolution pictures of musicians and the like? I feel like decorating my room for once but a lot of the pictures I find that are good are impossible to find at a higher resolution. Anybody who knows I will make sweet sweet love to. In the form of greenz.
In my college-level income experience, cost and awesome drunkenness are inversely proportional. Got me some $2.95 bottles at Food Lion a couple months back...yeehaw. It's possible high-priced stuff is good too, but again, I wouldn't know.
Tomorrow, I turn 21. Almost of all of my friends are a year or more older than I am, so this has been a long time coming. BUT I have to be at work at 5:30 am. Yes on my fucking birthday. What will I be doing? I have to set up all the traffic cones for a 13 mile mini marathon. I will have walked 13 miles (twice, I have to pick them up too) before many of you are out of bed. ON MY FUCKING 21st BIRTHDAY. Thank you lieutenant for assigning me cone duty. Fuck My Life.
One of my more preferred bottles of wine I've ever drank from cost $13. Another one cost $24, but that was at a restaurant, so any retail price could easily be cut in half. Fuzion is a good wine that sells for $8 a bottle, and the 2008 vintage was legitimately impressive for an $8 bottle. Anyone else had all their friends go home to visit their parents for this, the most holy of long weekends when people are typically guilted into going to church? It's 25 degrees outside and I wasted the day lying on my bed and taking note of the colour of my feces.
Chance of some girl on girl action tonight. Now if I can just involve my dick at the right time, this could turn out well.
Jesus. I spent a great deal of the day down at the saw mill loading a trailer with lumber for one of my buddies. My body is not used to physical labor like that any more and I'm sure I'm going to be sore as shit tomorrow. I gave him a killer deal on the lumber. 75 pieces of 1"x10"x10' Larch (Planed on both sides), 75 pieces of 1"x2"x10' Larch for batting (Also finished on both sides), and about 50 Pine 2"x4"x10' for $100. Try and find a deal like that anywhere. I've got to get rid of the shit before my step mother and her daughter sell off my property and I'd rather it went to my friends for cheap then for them give it away. Their latest plan has reached my ears and all I have to say is "Hahahahahaha!" They think they're going to load up an 18' trailer with everything they can and tow it to California behind a mini van. Pulling that trailer loaded across country is the reason my poor truck has been through 4 transmissions. They won't make it halfway across Oklahoma before they're sitting by the side of the road, kicking rocks, and wondering what the fuck just happened. The best part of their brilliant plan? The mini van doesn't even have a trailer hitch and it's a front wheel drive V6. Yeah, that's going to pull a 10,000lb trailer three thousand miles over the mountains with no problems. Are y'all starting to catch on to the lunacy and disillusions I'm having to deal with?
Baby, 4 months old and already a grouchy little cuss, has pink eye and got a round of shots yesterday which makes him that much more testy. I would love a drink (or thirty) right now but I have to pack. My husband's mother had a stroke last week and they're now circling the wagons. We're waiting for his sister to drive here from Clearwater tomorrow (12 hour drive) and then we're all hopping right in my Ford Freestyle and driving 9 hours to the other sister's house in Truxton NY, expecting to be there very late tomorrow night only to return on Tuesday (thanks to all the snow, spring break is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and that's it). 6 of us. Grouchy cuss included. Should I mention that I'm still nursing and the sister that we're staying with is a teetotaler? This weekend is going to be so full of suck that it'll be shooting out of my ears. Suggestions?
Oh c'mon, this one is simple. Take Jr away from the titty and "Accidentally" spray milk all over the relatives. Then pretend you're sorry and blush. It would be funnier if your glands were full of high octane vodka, you had perfect aim, and shot your sister in the mouth with such force that she had no choice but ingest vodka and ended up stumbling drunk, but we can't all rely on the perfect scenario. If nothing else, it will be a fun situation for all and the source of countless family stories for years to come.
Me too buddy, me too. Anyways. It is indisputable. Gin buzz != beer buzz. I feel more... wired. this is what i get for getting into beer, I forget the beauty of a good gin buzz. Puppy dump. Shut up, it's totally manly. DAWWWWWWWWWW.
Y'all are sitting around staring at your own shit and pondering the color? Jesus. When I was your age we were considering important things like how come no one has ever seen a baby seagull and if that is really a cop in our rear view mirror or just some dumb ass with a ski rack. And getting laid. Y'all disappoint me. Staring at your poop and actually thinking about it. I would've had to shit a tractor with a plow behind it for me to have even given it a second thought at your age. While walking to school in the snow. It was 5 miles uphill both ways.
Didn't this happen in National Lampoon's Vacation? Could you imagine the vile shit a guy could come up with? Easter Sunday mass with fountains going off in the back pew like the watershow at the Bellaggio. This should have it's own thread, What would you do if you were capable of producing boobie milk?
This is hilarious. I have a police/ fire department scanner left over from my days of being with the fire department. One of my cousins just went back to work as a dispatcher for the county and she was a bit groggy when I saw her earlier today due to her lack of sleep. She just gave the cops on the radio a ration of shit over the radio about pissing her off and none of them would talk back to her. Either she just got herself fired, or my family still has a whole bunch of respect down here for being bat shit crazy. I'm betting on the latter.
How fucked up is it that I've never thought about that! It is so totally true though! I did a GIS for "vacant expression" and found this: NSFW I... um... hmh... waste of a perfectly good pizza.
I was house boating and there was some young broad who was able to produce boob milk due to a recent vagina widening she had, she sprayed a few of us and one of my friends drank straight from the source. It's apparently kind of sweet.
To be fair I've been having a wicked battle with dyspepsia lately. I'd get ridiculously full and bloated after eating a small amount of food, and then came the heartburn. So I took Pepto Bismol, and bismuth subsalicylate turns your poo black. I also spent today shitting out what I wasn't for the last two, so there. My GI tract not processing food would probably cause the bloating and heartburn, but what the hell would make peristalsis shut down abruptly for two days? There's a question for you. Poo's normal brown colour is caused by an end-product of the breakdown of hemoglobin, by the way.
And y'all thought I was just a vacant minded hillbilly.... Someone has to think about this shit. And just for shits and giggles I threw up a new story on my blog. Trust me, it sucks ass, but it did remind me of one I need to write about the time I thought it would be a brilliant idea to go grocery shopping stoned out of my mind. I just meant to buy a bag of chips and some dip. I ended up spending $400, but I got stuck in the toy aisle of the grocery store. There were balloons and shit and I was imagining my little army men paratroopering down while the enemy shot at them with flaming rubber bands. While others hovered above them suspended ever so briefly by balloons filled with my breath. If only I could of exhaled helium, the whole scenario would of been very different. The only reason I'm mentioning this is to remind myself to write the story in the next few days. It was quite the scene. And then they made me pay for my overloaded cart of snacks and toys. Then they threw me out of the store. Ok, it didn't happen quite like that, but it was pretty damn close. Seriously.
Did they have the mother effinh water balllons that looked like grenades? Cauuse if they daid, that wo Okay, I can't type ot the rest of what I was gonna say, case someone made my "u" key jst jmp off my fcking laptop. Mother goddamn tits.
Unless I've just shit a donkey that's braying at the top of it's lungs, I don't really give a damn about my waste matter. You are a very odd dude. Most of us lost our fascination with our own crap when we got spanked for finger painting with it at 3 months old. Even if you're 75 years old and complaining to the doctor that your shit looks funny, and then shoving it under his nose saying "Look!" No one wants to see that shit (Literally.) Not even your doctor. No one even wants to hear about it. Unless it's hee-hawing in the bowl and threatening to kick the sides out of your toilet.