Hitting the Town

Through all our relentless trash talking, debating and dark sexual tick one-upping there is one thing that this board widely has in common: we all like to get shitfaced. That is why our most popular thread of the week is called the Drunk Thread. However, our opinions on what we like with our drinking is widely diverse. Some people like to get wasted at home and yell at their TV all night. Some people go out and pick fights with mailboxes. But we all love getting fucked up.

Focus: How does an ideal night play out for you when you blow off steam? Do you have strict pregame rituals, only like drinking at pubs, cry into your Gyro at the end of the night alone on a concrete parking abutment etc.

Alt Focus: What things could occur that guarantee to kill your buzz?

 

FOCUS

Pubs and houses for me. Easy access to alcohol with little to no lining up will guarantee that I'm drunk by the end of the night. In this types of settings I can easily talk with my friends, watch some sport, or listen to music I like. I immensely enjoy all three of these things, which just makes the drinking experience that much better. Beers until I have a good buzz, then I'll change to vodka/bourbon or scotch, depending on my mood.

ALT FOCUS

Clubs. Impossible to get a drink. Impossible to talk with my friends, listen to music I like or watch any sports. We've all discussed it before.


I'm easy to please when I go out. It's simply all about being with your friends and having a good time. Not hard to make happen.

 

Focus: As sad as this probably sounds, my favorite nights right now are when the GF and I have a couple glasses of wine, watch a movie* and talk.

Back in college I liked big and small house and dorm parties over bars, something about the manufactured 'pay me to have fun' scenario never quite sit right with me. Dollar slices of pizza at 3 AM before going back to drink some more was pretty much a nightly ritual.

I still love going to big house parties over bars, I've actually even been starting to enjoy them when I'm the DD and don't drink at all, being sober around a bunch of drunks use to bother the hell out of me.

*no romantic movies like the notebook, always something most guys would watch.

Alt Focus: Couples that get in fights at a party, how about you air your dirty laundry in private?

 

Focus: Staying in, getting drunk, and playing poker with my friends are usually the best nights. We have a poker night at least once a month (due to life schedules, getting together more often has proven to be near impossible), and it is something I look forward to every single month. Unfortunately, this month, half of my friends have backed out at the last minute, which brings me too:

Alt-Focus: People who say they're in for a party, then either back out at the last minute or don't show. We usually have a group of 10 people for Poker night, and 8 of them said they were definitely in (myself included). Then, last night, I get calls from two of my brothers and two friends who say they can't make it. Excuses were, in order of validity, "I'm moving," "I got called in to work," "I'm tired," (from two of them). Now there are 4 of us, if we're lucky, and it is looking like we might have to call the game off. That is such a fucking buzzkill.

 

Focus I'm a local/nearby bar/pub/tavern/sports bar kind of guy. Most bars and clubs in the heart of the city are overpriced, have stupid dress codes, and are usually filled with douchebaggery and the same old tired Top 40 music choices.

House parties/gatherings can be fun also, even though they are not as common these days being that most of my friends are done with college life where those kinds of events usually happened.

Going to a bar where I already know I can enjoy myself, have access to a good beer selection and bullshit with friends is my way of blowing off steam. And if it ends up with me getting bombed, and making a Taco Bell run for the border...well, thats fine too.

 

I would pretty much drink anywhere, but preferred bars.

Buzzkills: Cops, wife, the bar running out of whatever I was drinking.

 

When I'm up for a night of hitting the town I have a ritual of hitting a couple bars in a row.

The first one is perfect for meeting up with the "going out crew". Small, dark, little hole in the wall where the only food is peanuts in the shell. It's always busy and the place is built like a long corridor with little mini booths on one side, the bar on the other. The second stop is a slightly more upscale martini bar where none of us order martinis. They have a sweet outdoor patio, good whiskey selection, and they allow cigar smoking on the deck which is why I stop there.

Last but never least is the Irish pub I can call a home away from home. The first and last round is always free, the food is always good, the bar staff are mostly lifers that enjoy it, and the crowd is friendly, sports loving, and made up of a bunch of regulars.

Those are my favorite nights out.

 

If it's me and The Guy - we can do pretty much anything. There's a hole in the wall by our workplace, and we LOVE it. Great jukebox, cheap cheap cheap beer, the barmaid is barefooted, they love us and remember our beers of choice. We can walk in sweaty after a workout, or pre-game before going to the ballpark. They're fantastic.
If we're going OUT, our preference is a bar with a live band playing some Texas country, pool tables, a dance floor, and cheap drinks. We dig the shit out of playing pool, since my skills rise as my drunkenness increases, and his falls as he drinks, so we wind up about fairly even. I'm still teaching him to dance. Our height difference makes it interesting, even when I'm wearing 5" heels I'm still not up to his chin.
We don't do clubs. Ever.

The only thing that will kill either of our buzz is when someone won't take no for an answer - whether it's a girl hitting on him or a guy hitting on me. That doesn't end the night, but we do find it annoying. And music that's too loud. And cigarette smoke.
Couples arguing, fat chicks, old people, whatever else...we find it comical.

 

I pretty much drink at home, clubs just aren't really my scene anymore. I don't care for the bar scene unless I have a DD and someone else is footing the tab. I hate paying for the markup on alcohol, it's usually ridiculous. I prefer making a kickass dinner and having friends over. The boys generally segregate themselves from the girls, which is okay because I hang with some bad ass chicks. We usually end up embarassing the boys at some juncture and that has led to some priceless stories.

There is a really ghetto bar within walking distance of our pad that we will hit up occasionally, the bartenders love us because we have all of our teeth, tip well and play great tunes on the jukebox. Our tab there is never more than $20, despite how much we have consumed. We sit there and mock the regulars by using big words and logic.


Buzzkills are the drunkswho have had too much and won't give it up, resulting in falling all over and vomiting in inappropriate places.

 

Does that paragraph exist for any other reason than to make yourself feel better? A lot of people are disappointed with how they turned out, you don't have to have to exaggerate on the internet to make yourself look cool. It's okay. Just be you. You can do it.

 

I'd still advise anyone not to do this. In a van or not, you are (here) still drunk in public. Probably nobody will be the wiser but best move is always a sober ride to your own bed.

 

I still see no problem if its:
A) A panel wagon
B) Parked in an inconspicuous place and
C) No cop witnesses him climbing in the van

Focus: When I was in college, I liked to hit a few of the different bars on the strip. Each offered its own unique experience to the night. Of course, there are also always the nights where you pick your favorite bar, listen to the music/watch the game and drink away. This bar always had a great selection of beer on tap.

Now, I live in a shit hole town where I am more likely to be stabbed than to get drunk when I go out, so I usually just stay in and drink. For as small of a town as this is, there is a brewpub close by, which is good for a few beers here and there. Best beer I can get where I live.

 

I had no idea this was actually a law. I wonder if it is in Ohio, because back in '05 after the US-Mexico World Cup qualifier in Columbus I went out drinking and ended up getting completely lost (drove from the game to the bar district downtown--honestly I shouldn't have even been driving at this point but I was 21 and stupid--parked my car in some lot, walked to the bar, and completely forgot where I'd parked because I'd never been to Columbus before), and after the bar closed actually asked a cop where the nearest public lot was (I knew it wasn't more than 2-3 blocks). This was basically the exchange:

Me (heavily slurred and stumbling, sunburned, and wearing a "MEXICO SUCKS" t-shirt): "Officer, do you know where there's a public parking lot around here, I can't find my car!"

Cop: "You....you're looking for your CAR??"

Me: "Don't worry, I'm not driving anywhere, just gonna go sleep"

Cop: "Oh, OK--it's about 2 blocks that way"


Obviously a cop would have to be a complete dick to actually bust someone for DUI for sleeping in a parked car, but did I get away with one here?? Now that I think about it I wonder if he didn't follow me to the lot to make sure I didn't try to drive off.

Focus: It varies from night to night, the only real constant is that I hate clubs (like many others here). Usually I'll start off with around 2-3 hours of drinking at home or at a friend's house (more if it's a Saturday and I start early in the day) before heading out, though. I'm also definitely the guy who will get home from the bar at 2:30 am and berate my friends into doing more shots or playing "just one game" of Beirut.

 

I had a friend in MA get a dui while sleeping it off in his car. Cops said that because the keys were in arms reach (they were in the backseat) it was still considered a DUI even though the car was parked. Let that be a lesson to you, if you have nowhere to sleep you're better off rolling the dice and driving shit-faced than being responsible.

 

Speaking of which I have a buddy who got a DUI in Connecticut the summer between our junior and senior years of college for sleeping in a car. Can't really blame the cops on that one though, since the car was not parked but rather stopped at a red light with the engine running and my buddy in the driver seat.

I gotta say I don't understand the rationale behind these laws--they basically encourage people to drive drunk. Driving drunk is clearly a fucktarded thing to do but it's something I did every now and then when I was younger and, as stupid and dangerous as it is and as horrible the consequences are if you get caught or worse yet kill someone, you are highly unlikely to get caught especially if you don't get in an accident. You're a hell of a lot more likely to get found by the cops sleeping in a stationary car, especially in a busy area, than you are actually driving drunk. By making the legal consequences for the two actions the same, the law essentially removes a good deal of the incentive to sleep it off.

 

Here comes a big list, so I'll preface this by saying that I've learned to avoid or deal with most of these things, so it's rare for my buzz to get killed.

1. Number 1 biggest buzz killer for me... No seats at the bar. I don't know a ton of people here in town, and none of them are part of the happy hour crowd, so if I want to go drinking, that means going out on my own, which is fine, since I'm pretty extroverted and find plenty of people at the bar to talk to. But if there's no seats at the bar, that shit gets awkward real quick. Sitting at the bar by yourself drinking = maybe a little sad, but still in the realm of socially accepted norms. Standing near the bar by yourself drinking = super creepy, call the cops.

2. The friend who always has to pee/smoke. Thanks for letting me hold your drink while you go outside. Yeah, no problem, I'll just stand here by myself holding two drinks. That's not at all creepy or weird. Sometimes nature calls, and that's cool, but you do not have to fucking pee or smoke every 10 minutes.

3. Mr. Indecisive. It's just a bar! It does not require fucking 2 hours of debate to choose where you want to go! I could already be drunk and back home crying into my pillow by now!

3(a). Mr. I Live In New York But Insist On Driving A Car. Nothing kills a night out like spending an hour trying to park.

3(b). Chicks who have hair. Pretty self explanatory.

4. Mr. S'go. Look, I just got here, I haven't even finished my drink. I don't care if there's no women for you to hit on, chill out for 2 minutes and let me enjoy a few moments of peace with Lady Libation. Take the opportunity to develop a rapport with the bar tender while things a slow. It pays off later.

5. Drunk bartender. Some bartenders can pull off drinking at the job. But, most bartenders who think they can pull of drinking at the job are wrong, and end up just being shitty bartenders. If you're pouring yourself a shot and chatting with your friends while I've been waiting on a drink I ordered 15 minutes ago, I am not going to be a happy camper.

5(a). Space cadet bartender. Yeah, that empty glass does in fact mean I'd like another drink, stop watching soccer for two second and do your job, or, in the alternative, don't act like I'm interrupting your life when I wave you down to get a refill.

6. The turncoat. Yes, I'm drunk, and loud, and like making new "friends" at bars, so it's quite likely I'm going to say something completely ridiculous and inappropriate to a girl. She can call me out on it, but you, dear friend, are not allowed to take her side. You're supposed to pretend that she's overreacting and I'm totally funny, otherwise we're in for a 45 minute bitch-fest lecture instead of getting back to having fun. Now, if you're siding with her because you think it'll be funny to fuck with me like that, that's actually pretty awesome. But, don't validate every feeling of offense a chick gets simply because you haven't learned that women do not run your world.

7. Disgusting bathrooms. No dividers between the urinals is pretty gross, but no stall around the toilet is some fucking third world shit. Not making this up, I've seen it happen, and this is why I can't go to comedy shows in town any more. The one place that has them is a somewhat upscale club, except the bathrooms have apparently been taken over by the sticky-floored dive that occupies the upstairs.

~7. Secret bathroom. Greatest thing I've ever found. The bar I go to regularly has really nice bathrooms. It's a small place, and has individual, private bathrooms, one for men and one for women. But, they occupy a space in the bottom of a converted office building, and so there's a shared space past the bar with the stairwell and elevators, and out there is a second set of bathrooms even nicer than the first, and typically with no line. (And yes, it is totally kosher to use them, the bar covers the maintenance costs for them and everything, but it's just the regulars who know they exist.)