New map with most distinctive causes of death. http://www.cbsnews.com/news/map-shows-the-most-distinctive-causes-of-death/ Focus: Discuss your state's distinctive cause. Alt. Focus: How do you think you'll die? Of course, my state is abnormal, not elsewhere classified.
Here is the map: Looks like I'll kick the bucket through accidental discharge of firearms. I'm giving this the Sunday Funday bump.
TB. What is this, 1915? Leave it to Texas to be totally backwards and medieval. I'll probably be crushed by my fatass cat. Last night I woke up because he was laying on my chest. 18 pounds of lard staring at you is heavy and creepy as hell. Someday I won't wake up, and it'll be the lamest death imaginable.
Gross. Your country is gross. I plan on dying the same way every Canadian dies: drinking and fucking at the same time to stay warm. Then cardiac arrest and I'm dipped in honey and thrown to some feral necropheliacs kept prisoner under the floorboards. What do I care at that point?
HIV is no joke here. Palm Beach County had the highest AIDS/HIV rate in the U.S. all thanks to the backwards town of Belle Glade. 1 case for every 541 people. There are only 16,000 residents. Those are numbers comparable to the most blighted in Africa. It is 1960 out there still. God has forgotten that place. So did the Department of Education. And, fun fact, that's where all of your sugar comes from. The highest rates are now in Miami and New Orleans it looks like (http://www.hivplusmag.com/just-diagnosed/2014/09/22/25-us-cities-highest-rates-hiv-infection). So... yay? In 2004: Also, what the FUCK, New Mexico? You're more likely to be murdered by a cop than get cancer. These are statistics.
Is anyone else surprised that meningococcal disease is particularly prevalent in Washington State? Or is that just me?
Seriously Louisiana, syphilis? What is this 1800? Alt-Focus: I imagine I'll die alone, forgotten in a nursing home
Also, Utah leads the way with "other and unspecified events of undetermined intent and their sequelae". In other words, the Mormons are disappearing people left and right. You heard it here first.
Other and unspecified acute lower respiratory infections? Honestly sounds pretty dull. Pretty fitting for my state.
I'll probably die in a car wreck. But, if I get the cancer, ima go on a bank robbing and similar crime spree, by a pinstripe suit and try to go down in a hail of gunfire shouting "you'll never take me alive, Copper!" I have a friend that drives really fast, all the time. One time we were talking about this topic and he said, "I always just assumed I would die in my car." My buddy looks at him and said, "Me too. I always just assumed I would die in your car."
Pneumoconiosis and other chemical effects...is that a polite way of saying meth and/or meth-related illnesses? Ugh, this goddamned state. Way to go, PA.
Lame. I was hoping for something more exciting like boat wrecks or bear attacks but whatever. Alt-focus: I'll get shot by my dog in a freak accident or struck by lightning in a canoe going down a waterfall. Something awesome like that. Or... skin cancer and maybe heart disease like some of my family members have had.
Arizona-Discharge of firearms, undetermined intent Yeah that seems about right, hopefully it is not one of my own by my wife when she finds out how many we really have in the house. Alt-Focus I will probably die on an ill advised later in life cocaine bender.