Hey Honey! Come See What Your Son Is Doing On The Internet!

Being able to detect sarcasm is generally considered amongst the qualities of a person when discussing their sense, or lack thereof, of humour.

Beefy, in lieu of a rap battle I propose this song.



fuck I'm gonna be late. This song is awesome(ly ironic) though.

 

I believe I demanded Battle Rap. If they're going to bicker, you should be making them spit hot fire. Internet insults mean precisely dick until they rhyme.

 

See, you can season it with your national flavor and everything. NOW RAP.

EDIT: Oh, good. You're rapping.

 

You are a little more Dr. Suess than Dr. Dre.

 

Hmm:



There is an exception to every rule.

 

Absolutely not.

If I this was 30 years ago, then yes, for the right price, I would. Chances are, no one would ever find out. But nowadays, thanks to data storage, replication, file servers, and the Internet, a video clip, picture, or text file can continue to exist forever. And it's increasingly easier to find with search engines, databases, etc. You might use a fake name, keep your mouth shut, and everything, but there will still be someone to identify you with that clip, and a good chance it will leak online.

So do you really want people to find a video of you naked, fucking some pornstar 10-20 years from now, when you're trying to start a family/get an important white collar job?

And I've never suggested video-taping sex to any girls I've been with. I've never understood the appeal. When you're still in the relationship, what's the point of looking at it? When it's over, I would rather move on and forget about them sexually.

 

I'm pretty sure I've seen porn that basically does this. From what I remember the idea was that a 'normal' guy from the street got to bang a porn star, while wearing one of those masks. Damned if I can remember the name of the site, though.

As for the filming thing..I'll pass. I know a girl that's done some semi-pro porn and I've heard enough stories about porn to ruin it for me (usually about how you have to stop every couple of minutes for them to adjust the lights/camera angles/makeup)

 

NSFW

Be The Mask

If someone offered me a chance to be in porn, I would do it if only so I could fuck Katie Morgan, the money would be irrelevant and unnecessary. The only reason I'm not in porn now is because I don't know where to sign up. And the whole huge dick thing.

 

I have long had the idea to set up a company that was basically 'direct your own porno'. I have a bunch of porn stars on the books, you take your pick. Can chose a level of production anything from a full on set and crew to cameras set up in a room and no one around. You pick the scenes, the script, costumes etc. Can star in it or you can simply direct.

End of filming we provide all the raw unedited footage as well as an edited version. All footage is then destroyed and you walk out the door with your copy. I am convinced there is a market for this.

 

Dude, that's gold.(Porno fantasy camp) Look at what those guys spend at that Bunny Ranch on HBO to walk away with just a memory.

So, what's stopping you? Are you too busy making money to make money?

Wow. What a great idea.

If you don't, someone else will.

 

I waited to post this because I will win the thread. While I did not see the video in question (thank god), they both confirmed its (prior) existence and it would have behooved both of them to lie about it.

Back in 2002, my husband was cheating on me with a coworker. A fat, ugly, older coworker at that. This had been going on for awhile, 2 years by some estimates. I suspected all along but I trusted him when he told me nothing was going on. According to husband, he gave her a "pity fuck" because her husband hadn't had sex with her in years and she got attached. Since he worked with her, he couldn't get away from her. He got laid off that year and things went downhill fast because he wasn't under her thumb anymore. She leaves her husband and rents an apartment not far from our home anticipating husband leaving me and moving in with her. She starts threatening to tell me about the affair when he takes his time leaving me. When he finally had the balls to call off the affair, the shit hit the fan. One day she showed up at my house and this was what she told me:

A few weeks earlier, while laid off and while I was at work, hubby invites her over for a lunchtime romp. Unbeknownst to her, hubby had set up our trusty video camera under a pile of clothes on the dresser and videotaped himself fucking her in our bed. When she got back to work, he called her and told her what he had done and said that if she didn't leave him alone, he was going to mail the tape to her husband. She raced back to my house, made him show her the tape and made him destroy it on the spot.

I hit him in the head so hard his fucking ears were ringing. He told her, in front of me, that he wanted her to leave him alone and that he loved me and wanted to stay married to me (as IF). I started fucking a coworker of his shortly thereafter, stopping to have husband critique my outfits as I left the house (he was there watching our son). He cried each night when his sweet, younger, dick-sucking wife strutted out the door to have her way with some other man. Serves him right. Fucker.

I ended up calling the cops on that crazy bitch. She started harassing me at work telling me that, at 50 years old, she was pregnant with my husband's baby. She told me that he shoved his fist up her ass without her permission (dunno how that's possible) and that she was going to have him arrested for sodomy. After she got a visit from the cops, she left us alone.

We got back together about 6 months later, had 2 more kids and here we are. I still don't completely trust him but he has bent over backwards trying to make it up to me. Now, aside from the lack of sex, we have a fairly good relationship. Hey, if Kobe and Vanessa can do it....

 

Something like this is already being done, and it was featured, believe it or not, on the National Geographic channel. It's called "Big Sister." Apparently, a Czech pornographer realized that they could get amateur guys to volunteer or even pay (a nominal fee) to be in pornos. This "brothel" is funded by viewers.

Anyway, every time I see this title, this is what I think of: Keyboard cat meltdown.

Focus: No way. I don't even like to have the lights on. The odds of something going terribly wrong with any videotaped shenanigans vs. nothing happening are 100 to 1 in favor of "terribly wrong."

Alt Focus: Didn't someone on the old board have a VHS tape of this sort stashed in her videos labeled like a normal video and her parents played it when the family was over? I bet it was someone like Midgetbigot.

 

A couple years back, I dated a girl who ended up being legitimately crazy. She was super kinky and loved sex like no one else; her desires were insatiable. One night at her house, she pulls out her camera and wanted to take pictures. I took a whole bunch of pictures of her going down on me, and my fucking her in different positions. Then, we turned it on to video mode and made a bunch of videos of the same sort. I always managed to hold the camera, making sure I was never seen from the neck up, because I didn't want anyone to know it was actually me should something go wrong later. Thank God for instincts...

We had a hellish breakup where her true craziness came through and I ended up trying to get a restraining order, but that's a completely different story. It was hell on me and my friends; "hell hath no fury..." and all that. One night out at the bar with some friends, the topic of sex tapes came about randomly. One of my friends laughs and says, "Oh yea, we all liked yours." Confused, I asked what he was talking about. Turns out, during our breakup, my ex created a webpage with the pictures of us and the videos and sent a link to all my friends titled, "Pictures from the Beach." We had all gone to the beach while we were still together and my friends thought she was being nice and sharing the pictures with everyone. Wrong. I never got to see the actual site -- that night we tried to go back through the link, but she had deleted the site -- and everyone just assumed I knew about it, and had been sent the same link, which is why it had never been talked about before.

At first I was extremely pissed, but then I realized that my face couldn't be seen in any of the pictures/videos, and if anything, it just degraded her a lot more than it did me. A couple of my friends said they took a couple moves from us, if that's any consolation.