I was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning when the host mentioned some news that just happened in China. The nit and gritty is that a chef got hammered at a party, so his friends decided to place a live eel in his anus when he passed out. The eel ate the guy's bowel and intestines before they were able to pull it out. Focus: What type of humor have your friends displayed while you were passed out. Or what type of pranks have you witnessed/done onto others. The worst thing that happened to me was being dropped off at my high school and placed in a trashcan. I was lucky enough to wake up before any of my peers were able to witness me stumbling out.
I'll make this quick. The summer before college we had a party at my friends house. His mom was out of town and this was not out of the ordinary. However, for some reason everyone was abnormally shitfaced that night. Most of us crash there and the next morning my friend wakes up with a little surprise. He woke up on the futon, with a 20 dollar bill in his pocket that he didn't have before, pants around his ankles, and a big piece of celery sticking out of his ass. I'm not talking your normal celery stick you eat with peanut butter in 3rd grade. I'm talking like 8-12 inch long piece that was in my buddy's fridge. He blacked out that night so he obviously has no recollection of what happened. Of course, everyone thought this was fucking hilarious and he still gets shit for it to this day. As funny as it was it was also a little odd. Everyone that was there we all knew pretty fucking well so who stuck the celery up his ass? We never found out. Nobody EVER fucking owned up to it and to this day we're still clueless/weary of our "friend" who is not afraid to shove a veggie in an asshole.
I read about this prank on the old RMMB: You get two guys who are passed out, put them in the same room, and do the following: -pull both of their pants down -get a condom, and stick a pencil/pen into it to extend it all the way -stick it up one of the victim's ass -kick the victim in the asshole area a few times with a pointy shoe to achieve soreness -make sure that there is at least one person available to witness the victims emerging from the room you left them in to report back to everyone.
My sociopathic galloot of a friend El Nino who was roomate the first time I had my own place. My other friend King Kong Lover-Lips and he would often show me the way of pain while I slept. One time they came in (they both are over 220 lbs), put their hands under my matress and catapulet me across the room like a goddamn lawn dart. Another time, they dumped an entire tub of cocoa butter on my face while I slept, and when I stumbled out of the room with wearing my bukkake ski mask, they were each wearing boxing gloves and sandwich-punched my head when I stumbled out of the bedroom, blind. I crumpled to the floor like a wet pasta noodle and they laughed and kicked me while I was gibbled. This is my favourite of all time:
Ballsack you disappoint me. I thought you were gonna be the original poster, given the subject matter. Way to drop the ball, I'm gonna go pout and cut myself. Only thing that comes to mind isn't that bad. A Jewish friend passed out in a house full of other drunken Jews. What did the Jews do about it? Why, they crucified him on the shag carpet. I even got a picture of it. Oh those crazy jews...
This one is all heresay. Out somewhere in country/outback Australia , some dude was going to get married and for his bucks night got well and trully shitfaced. His country bumpkin buddies then had the great idea of putting the rubber band that is used to castrate male sheep around the bucks testicles while he was passed out.
I have told this story before, I think on RMMB not sure if on here. When I was a freshman in college I became real good friends with a lot of people on the floor of my dorm. Of course every floor has one weirdo. The kid no one could stand but was always there. Because we were good friends with his roommate, when I went home one weekend, my roommate allowed him to sleep on the floor (No way that freak in my bed) because our friend was fucking a girl. Well, this kid was an idiot who drank way too much when drinking. My roommate was awakened at 3 AM to lysol being sprayed everywhere and the window open in the middle of winter at UConn. He passed back out and woke up to shit. Not to go, it was all over the dresser, phone, word processor, movies and carpet. You see, dickhead got up in the middle of the night, wasted, and mistook the dresser and what was on it, for a toilet. He then wiped his ass on the carpet like a dog. (If you went to UConn after 1997, you may have heard this wonderful tale, we told a lot of people) We did lots of shit to this kid because he passed out drunk all the time. First we duct taped him to floor so bad that he pissed himself in the night. The next time he passed out we pennied him in his room and took the large plastic garbage bags from the recycling bins and sealed around his door with the duct tape. We cut a slit in the top and filled from the floor to ceiling in garbage. There were others but the worst one was when he chugged vodka like it was beer and passed out 15 minutes later. He had a single at this point (I wonder why no one wanted to share a room with him) and he passed out with his door open and him right at the entrance. People on the whole floor had been keeping old milk, meat, etc (which we were going to penny him in his room and pour/push under door). But everyone just started dumping that shit on him. One guy stood in the hall with a beer in his hand and pissed on him. We then made a trail of beer cans from him to the RAs door. The floor smelled really bad the next day.
I'm reminded of this: I generally leave people alone when they are passed out. One of the few times I did fuck with someone, it was my brother's friend. We got a condom, put a little bit of shampoo or something in it so that it looked like cum, then took pictures of it on his face.
We're generally a nice bunch to be around, even when pissed, and rarely fuck with each other when someone passes out. Nothing worse than a brief sharpie message on the occasional face. The worst thing we ever did was following a bucks night type event, in which the first people to pass out had the honour of being photographed with the strippers cucumber placed in their mouths. It wasn't even as bad as it sounds, as said people voluntarily put it in their own mouths not hours earlier. We're probably not as much fun as some of the other posters here.
We always loved to write on people and of course shave their eyebrows. Putting a live eel in a person's ass?? What the fuck is wrong with China?
Freshman year of college on like a random Wednesday, a bunch of the guys and girls from my floor met in our quad room, the big one with 4 people living in it, to drink none other than 5 o'clock vodka. This shit is maybe $8 for a half gallon it's so shitty, not to mention said bottle is plastic so you know it's quality. And we drank this shit straight...stupid, stupid freshmen. Anywho, two different things happened to two different people that night who passed out early. My roommate, who no one liked and just decided to come because I went down the hall too, chugged that shit like it was water and finished probably 2 of those red solo cups full of straight vodka. He was spitting all over, trying to get random girls numbers, and puking on himself (this kid got a tattoo on his ribcage some random weekday that said 'viscous' thinking he spelled the word 'vicious' correctly....another story). So we threw him into a rolling chair, wheeled him back down the hall to my room threw him on the floor, kicked him a few times for being annoying, threw his puke soaked blanket on him, then tossed the puke soaked chair on top of him. He finished himself off by pissing himself sometime in the night. The same night one of my friends did pretty much the same thing but didn't puke all over everything. When he passed out, with his shoes on mind you, we took it upon ourselves to shave just one of his eyebrows and do the stupid draw penis's all over him gag. After I left though, I found out that some of the other guys put that T-gel shampoo in his hair the entire night. From what I hear, that shit burns when you keep it on for more than 2 min it's that powerful. The entire night.