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He died saving women, children and kittens from Nazis...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dangermouse, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. dangermouse

    dangermouse
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    I was thinking the other day how much I like water, but how much I would hate to die drowning. I just reckon it would be absolutely terrifying.
    So

    FOCUS: What's the worst way you think a person could die, or the one way you don't want to die.

    ALT FOCUS: Post the way you want to go out, and/or what you want written on your tombstone. Extra points for inventiveness and extravagance!
     
  2. MooseKnuckle

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    Not my idea, and I don't remember where I first heard it. But this is how I would like to kill myself if it ever came to that:

    Make my way to the top of a tall building, say, 100 feet. Tie a rope (about 75 feet) from my ankles to the building. Tie a shorter cut of piano wire (50 feet) around my neck and to the building. Crazy glue my hands to my head and then jump. If everything goes properly I'll end up hanging upside down from the building holding my own decapitated head, just out of reach of onlookers.
     
  3. Volo

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    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net ... ly_suicide</a>
     
  4. Decatur Dave

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    I have an extreme fear of a violent death, namely being eaten by something. A lion would have the decency to choke you out, but I don't live in Africa... I've been living in Georgia and Florida. I wasn't out of New York a week before I saw my first gator outside where I was living in Savannah. Needless to say we dropped a very large rock on it and never saw it again. Gators will pull you under, spin you around till you don't know which ways up, let you drown and drag you under a log to rot. Sharks will let you bleed out as you float within view of the cooler and lawn chair on the beach you should have never left. Forget all that, I don't go in the water, EVER. Anything deeper than knee height I am a no go at the beach, and I wont even stand near the bank if I know gators are living in an area of water (I now live near lake Jessup, the most densely populated lake in the country with gators). Don't ask me to go camping, I don't know what to do if I ran into a bear except zig-zag as you run? Shit, I don't even know if that's right.

    Before reading this I was watching the episode Nobody Knows Anything episode of the Sopranos and was thinking a swan dive off a bridge isn't too bad a way to go. It's quick, would be a good last feeling to be free falling and I imagine your body stays relatively intact.
     
  5. Crown Royal

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    Not to jump on the bandwagon, but I said this before: load me up with Halloween candies and shove me off the CN Tower. I will then go out in both fun and style: like a pinata. That way, people will be walking by my gored out, strewn-across-the-pavement corpse in front of the Rogers Centre and go:

    "Jesus, what a horrible accid....waitaminute......OH, YES!!!! SNICKERS!!!!

    That, or like I said earlier today: Go out like Hudson in Aliens (if you haven't seen it, what the fuck are you waiting for?!?!). The horrible, horrible aliens.
     
  6. ghettoastronaut

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    The only thing I can really say I want about my own death is that I don't want to have to spend a whole lot of time contemplating it before it happens.

    A blaze of glory would be nice, too.
     
  7. Allord

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    Unknowingly standing 6 feet away from the impact site of a Hydrogen bomb was going to be my choice too! We're fission-fusion fusion brothers! Which is like East-West fusion but with more instantaneous vaporization and glass formation at the site of impact and less inexplicably tiny corn on toast!

    In terms of quickness and painlessness I think that trumps all. Plus you get to take a bunch of innocent sons of bitches with you. Fuck them and their lack of guilt. Fuck them right up their ass with a firey spear of nuclear fire that's also on fire.
     
  8. Kubla Kahn

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    Thanks Patton Oswalt.
     
  9. carpenter

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    Something heroic and selfless would be be the best way to go. Since death is inevitable anyway, why not saving someone's life?
    Taking down the terrorist who about to blow up the bus full of nuns, and catching a bullet in the gut? You're going straight to heaven no matter what else you've done in life.
    Yanking the kids out of the burning building, pulling people out of rubble in Haiti, something very cliche and Hollywood would be the way to go.
     
  10. WASPnest

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    Attacking a bear with a chainsaw? I don't need a reason. Fuck bears.

    I'd prefer to die in a way that permits the following tombstone:

    WASPnest:
    1988-20XX

    "most of him"
     
  11. SaintBastard

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    I'll give another nod to Maddox. "Violence builds character. Why settle for sucking on modern medicine's teat while you rot away in a retirement home when you could stand up on a rollar coaster and have every bone in your face smashed in a spectacular display of regulatory defiance?"
     
  12. Sam N

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    The exact manner in which I die is not really something I care about. What I do care about is my attitude towards it as it comes. Either I want to have absolutely no clue (shot in back of head while saving baby Jesus, the second version, or while I'm asleep) or I want to be able to face it with full acceptance of what is about to happen. I don't want to be panicking trying to rush to the stairwell in a collapsing building, I don't want to be attacked by a shark while spear fishing, and I definitely don't want to be bit by a fucking snake and desperately try to suck the venom out as I feel death slip it's dirty little hooks into me.

    If I could just be in a situation that requires some sort of heroism at the cost of death, and be able to accept that death is inevitable and go ahead anyway with whatever is required, I would die a happy man (....I guess this is what all heroism is about, right?). Of course, I've never been in a situation like that so who knows whether I'd be able to do what is required, or if I'd just sit on the stairwell crying as the German kills my fellow soldier like that fucking PUSSY in Saving Private Ryan. All I want is to go out in acceptance of my fate.
     
  13. Allord

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    #13 Allord, Jan 19, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. Nate17

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    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.hbtv.us/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.hbtv.us/</a>

    I'm Officer Whitman, from the "Deaf woman story. Carbon manoxide is the way to go! I tell ya, I got damn sleepy all of a sudden.
     
  15. Bundy Bear

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    For those of you that want a blaze of glory how about doing it in a little bit of a different setting?

    The family BBQ

     
    #15 Bundy Bear, Jan 19, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. redbullgreygoose

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    If I were to choose it would be a drug overdose. The difference between me and a lot of people who try this, is I wouldn't fail. Going to walgreens and swallowing 3 boxes of Benadryl isn't going to cut it.

    I would eat around 60 mg of Alprazolam (this would delay the effects for about ten to fifteen minutes) and do as many intravenous shots of any opiate I could, as fast as I could before I nodded out and lost consciousness. After that the xanax in my stomach would start kicking in, and depressing my central nervous system causing me to stop breathing.

    Don't try this at home kids!
     
  17. Crown Royal

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    Or better yet....
     
    #17 Crown Royal, Jan 19, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. Primer

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  19. JGold

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    Alt. Focus: How I'd WANT to die? That's easy. Somewhere around the age of 75, when I'd lived a long life but hadn't yet gotten old enough that living became a burden, with no cats. Cats + old age = failure in life. As for how I'd want to go, something quick, painless, and awesome. Struck by a meteorite or decapitated swordfighting cannibals in the post-apocalypse or something.

    For my money, the absolute worst way to die would be anything where you're alone, unable to be rescued, cut off from the outside world, and know death is inevitable and days away. Add being injured to the mix, say a broken back, and the situation gets even grimmer. For example, you fall 80-feet into a crevasse during a solo climb of a mountain. The fall snaps both your legs and smashes your radio. You can see your shattered leg bones jutting out of your bloody pants. A thin layer of snow has already covered the crack you fell into; even if anyone knew where you'd fallen, which they don't, the chances of them being able to find it are nil. You have nothing to do but sit in agonizing pain for days until you either freeze to death, starve to death, or find a creative way to off yourself. You'd know death was coming; but when? You'd probably think a lot about your loved ones a lot, but with no way to reach them, you can't say goodbye. Jesus. My hands got all sweaty just typing this paragraph.

    Being buried alive fits into this description, and being burned alive would blow ass as well.
     
  20. 2PumpChump

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    Like a couple people have said already, I don't want to go out old and decrepit battling my fourth bout of cancer. My buddy said something a little while back that sums up how I feel about dying, not sure where he got it from though. "I hope I'm still alive the day I die."