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Hate fuck, have coffee, romantic love

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. downndirty

    downndirty
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    A twist on marry, fuck, kill.

    Hate fuck-Iggy Azalea
    Have coffee with-Kanye West
    Romantically love-Selena Gomez (that forehead don't bother me, gurl)
     
  2. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Location:
    Where angels never dare
    Hate fuck: Taylor Swift
    Have coffee with: Larry King
    Romantic love: Anne Hathaway with long hair. If not, Margot Robbie.
     
  3. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Location:
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    Hate Fuck: Queen Bey. If she's not available, then Lena Dunham. I'm not attracted to her, I think I would just hate fucking her. But then again if the caveat of fucking Beyoncé is that she makes this face the whole time, then Dunham and her tragically weird tits win in a landslide.

    [​IMG]

    Have Coffee With: Jack Nicholson

    Romantic Love: Kelly Kapowski
     
  4. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Hate fuck: Katie Holmes

    Have coffee with: Cormac McCarthy

    Romantic Love: Katy Perry

    I honestly don't know if I would even like her, but she's so goddamn hot it wouldn't matter.
     
  5. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Hate fuck: Gwenyth Paltrow. I would wreck that pilates ass and Goop all over her face. For the cout de grace, "You know those organic hemp fiber condoms locally produced by artisinal sherpas I said I wore? They were made of bacon from Walmart."

    Have coffee: Joe Hill. He seems like a cool dude, well read, opinionated.

    Romantic Love: I can't imagine any celebrity, A list all the way down to F list, who isn't completely insufferable and narcissistic. So I will take "Romantic Love" to mean someone who seems OK and I would not tire of boning. That woman is Jennifer Lawrence. If all else fails we just quote Dumb and Dumber at each other while I spend her money and flagrantly stare at her tits during family dinners.

    Thanks to Russell Brand having no filter we know she is boring in bed, probably humorless. But those cans. "Make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk."
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Hate fuck: Miranda Kerr

    Have coffee: Alex Lifeson

    Romantic Love: Emma Stone

    Thanks to Russell Brand having no filter we know she is boring in bed, probably humorless. But those cans. "Make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk."[/quote]

    Plus, she's pregnant with John Mayer's baby, so . . .
     
  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Hate fuck: Lindsay Lohan before she turned into The Hills Have Eyes but still sucked as a person.
    Have Coffee: Elon Musk
    Romantic Love: Amy Adams. Love her.
     
  8. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
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    I would hate fuck Channing Tatum so that I could outrage the internet when I tell everyone I made him put a paper bag over his head when we fucked.

    I would have coffee with Catherine Tate because I am obsessed with Doctor Who right now and she's my favorite.

    I would romantically love Louis CK.
     
  9. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    Hate fuck: Sarah Palin - I'd conservatively bang her so hard she'd wind up left of center.

    Have coffee: Tom Hanks. The guy was stand up comedian at one time, and he seems like a good guy. Should be fun hour or so.

    Romantic love: I'll pinky-wrestle CJ for the right to court Jennifer Lawrence.
     
  10. Parker

    Parker
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    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Hate Fuck: Zoeey Deschanel

    Have Coffee With: Will Smith

    Romantic Love: Emily Ratajkowski
     
  11. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    Coeur d' Alene, Idaho
    Hate Fuck: Kristen Stewart. I would say she's a bad actor, but I don't think she "acts", that's just how dull and boring she is.

    Have Coffee: Steve Rinella. Guy is who Bear Grylls wants to grow up and be.

    Romantic Love: Iliza Shlesinger. Funny, weird and cute.
     
  12. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    In Katy's defense, would you put all that much effort into fucking Russell Brand?

    Hate Fuck: Ann Coulter
    Have Coffee with: Angelina Jolie
    Romantic Love: Jennifer Connelly
     
  13. E. Tuffmen

    E. Tuffmen
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    Hate Fuck: Janeane Garofalo, liberal political activist cunt.

    Have Coffee: Angelina Jolie. I find her fascinating and would love to just sit and chat with her.

    Romantic Love: Holly Marie Combs.
     
  14. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    Hate Fuck: Russel Brand. I want to have sex with him, but I genuinely don't think I would want to be around him enough to build a romantic relationship.

    Have Coffee: Stephen Fry. I don't think I need to explain this one. He is an interesting human being who would be interesting to talk to.

    Romantic Love: Tom Hiddleston. Not only do I find him sexy, I also like this personality and his public opinions on romantic relationships.
     
  15. Czechvodkabaron

    Czechvodkabaron
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    Hate Fuck: Taylor Swift. I know that she's been mentioned already, but come on, who else would it be?

    Have Coffee: Eleanor Friedberger. She wasn't blessed in the looks department, but I love her music and there are so many questions that I want to ask her about Blueberry Boat.

    Romantic Love: Lucy Pinder. I don't know what she is like personality wise, but for that body I would endure almost anything.
     
  16. toddamus

    toddamus
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    Hate Fuck: Taylor Swift and Jenny McCarthy in a horribly wrong three way

    Conversation: (does it have to be with a female?) Mike Babcock, Red Wings coach. At one point he said, "How I will be measured as a man is by my children and not by how many games I've won and lost", sounds like someone worth talking to.

    Romantic: Emma Stone, her personality just seems spot on, approachable, has a sense of humor, etc, etc
     
  17. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Hate fuck: Taylor Swift. I'll fill in her blank space, baby.

    Have coffee: Gregg Popovich, coach of the San Antonio Spurs. I doubt we'll ever talk about basketball.

    Romantic love: Jennifer Lawrence
     
  18. Gravy

    Gravy
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    Hate fuck: Megyn Kelly.

    Coffee: Charles Simic.

    Romantic Love: Emma Watson.
     
  19. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Hate Fuck: Janeane Garofalo. I think she's aged like a fine hate fuck wine should. Becoming more ridiculously obnoxious by the day. Sure she's not part of the current in crowd. Still like to see her sigh at the fact that we'd be fucking.

    Have coffee: Dr Drew. I listen to most of his podcast. Seems very interesting and motivated. I'd have to have a word with him about him lavishing praise on the supposed benefits of Bullet Proof Coffee when he's normally such a facts/evidence based person.

    Romantic Love: Ill fourth/fifth Jennifer Lawrence.
     
  20. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Hate fuck: I thought I wasn't allowed to make jokes about subjects like this.

    Coffee: In the spirit of it being someone who's alive, Troy Patterson. He'd write an article about it, no doubt, and make plenty of sly word plays.

    Romantic love: Someone who deserves better than to have her physical beauty act as a mere extension of my own ego and narcissism... I mean... uh... Alison Brie.