Nom Chompsky wrote about one of his sexcapades here Spoiler Sex. Oh, sex. You messy whirlwind of fluids and odd noises. You dirty little tempest of oohs and aahs and ouch my hairs. You saucy maelstrom of pretty coos and dripping holes. I've had it, before. Oh yes. Upwards of six times, so I think I know of what I speak when I say that this time was particularly dirty. It started, as most such encounters do, with romance. I stopped on my way to her place and picked up some dinner and two 40's of the finest malt liquor I could find for under $5. I was off to a good start; buying cheap alcohol always makes my balls throb heavy with sperms. Over dinner and drinks, we danced the dance of seduction. Well, I drank. She wasn't much of a malt liquor fan, which was great for me, because it substantially increased the amount that I had to drink. Which was important, because she wasn't much to look at, or talk to, or be around. Or think about. After administering some of my best moves (slowly caressing her legs, taking off my pants, and whipping my penis back and forth so it made that fapfapfap sound across my thighs), she was putty in my hands. I don't mean that she was literally a clay woman of course. I just meant that I could mold and manipulate her like pottery. I'm not much good at pottery. And yet, I managed to get her naked and having sex. With me, no less. It was going well, in my mind. I was consistently driving in and out, in and out, and almost always in that order. Missionary style. Not just because she was on her back, but also because she was babbling about God to a black guy who was desperately trying to ignore her. I should do more charity work. Where was I? Oh, right. I'm at testes-depth in this lovely young lady, when I feel that familiar tickle. The one that tells me the dam is going to burst, and there's not much I can do but hang on for the ride. I grunt, squeal, giggle, then stand up. Proud of myself. A job well done. She also half stands, and we both happen to glance over to the bed. In the middle, right under where we rutted, lay a fresh piece of human excrement. You must imagine my surprise here: It is not every day that somebody evacuates their bowels whilst I sex them. In fact, it had been zero days in my life up to this point. While I am always one for new experiences, they usually involve some sort of food with "fusion" in the name, not somebody shitting themselves during sex. Embarrassed, she grabbed some toilet paper from the bathroom and cleaned it up. I think she would have been less embarrassed if she had shared some of the malt liquor with me, but what do I know? Ultimately, I didn't really feel comfortable cuddling in her bed after that, so I decided to go home. On my way home I bought some fried chicken. It was pretty good. The end. This got me thinking, he really could've just said I got drunk and fucked a girl till she shit the bed. Yet, his eloquent wording of the whole situation and my subsequent reading of said wording had my sides splitting with laughter. So here it is, the Focus. Go back and find one of your old posts, and re-word it a la Nom.