Man Getting Hit By Football: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1LWhNpTJU Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1LWhNpTJU Fun Boys: http://www.hulu.com/watch/1172/the-simp ... 2-n7-sr-i1 And unfortunately, I can't find any video clips from my favorite episode, "The New Kid on the Block". Bart has a crush on the older girl next door, who ends up babysitting Bart and Lisa for a night. Meanwhile, Homer enlists the help of Lionel Hutz to sue the Captain, because Homer was kicked out of his all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant, "The Frying Dutchman". Some of the best lines: Waiter: I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything on the menu has fish in it. Marge: Mmm, what about the bread? Does that have much fish in it? Waiter: Yes. --- "'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine." -- Captain McAlister watches Homer eat --- Homer: All you can eat. Ha! Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story''. --- (may not be verbatim) Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, what did you do after you and your husband were removed from The Frying Dutchman? Marge: We drove around, looking for another all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant. Hutz: And when you couldn't find another all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant...? Marge: We went home. Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, may I remind you that you are under oath? Marge: (hangs her head) We went fishing. Hutz: (to jury) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who had "all he could eat"? Jury is shown to be comprised entirely of morbidly obese people, who murmur in disapproval. Fat Jury Member: (stands) That could have been me! --- Captain McAlister offers Homer a settlement. Marge covers her face as Homer chows down heartily on all the food that he can eat, at the window table of The Frying Dutchman. A huge crowd of onlookers have gathered, and Captain McAlister ushers them inside. Captain McAlister: Come for the freak; stay for the food.'' Man in Crown of Onlookers: I heard they shaved a gorilla!
I was always a fan of the subtle humor displayed on the church and school signs. Especially Maggie attending the "Ayn Rand Daycare Center."
In its day, this was the absolute best show on TV, hands down. Pretty funny to look back at it and think how controversial it originally was and how tame it seems in comparison to Family Guy, South Park and even shows like Arrested Development and 30 Rock. That said, I have not watched a new episode over the last 5 years. I saw it go way down in quality and figured it never came close to matching what it once was. There are way too many funny lines and bits to recount, so I will just state one of my favorites lines comes from the Monkey Paw story from Treehouse of Horrors 3, just because of the discussion about frogurt, which I use to this day as an expression of something that can be shitty or awesome (e.g., I spent all Sunday getting drunk and watching football which was good only to see my fantasy team lose the playoffs which is bad -- FROGURT). Thank you, come again.
There are way too many to list: Right now my favorite episode is "Homer Badman" where Homer is accused of sexual harassment after peeling a gummy Venus Demilo off of the babysitters butt. It lampoons news magazine shows to a T. Announcer: This just in Homer Simpson sleeps NUDE in and oxygen tent, that he believes gives him SEXUAL POWERS! Homer: Hey that's just a half truth! The whole re edited interview has me dying with laughter every time. From "Secrets to a successful marriage": Homer: Look Marge, you don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!!! Marge: Homer, don't ever tell them personal stuff about me again!! Homer (sheepishly): Yes ma'am. One of the best group cameos in "Fear or Flying": http://www.hulu.com/watch/1360/the-simpsons-cheerful-place Im with the crowd that hasn't watched more than maybe a dozen of the episodes after the 10th season. The creators keep saying they have just evolved the show to fit the changing times. Thus it is no where near as funny as its story focused past. If this show went off the air I would hardly notice.
Lionel Hutz: Well he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly". And replace "dog" with "son". Homer: I saw this in a movie where a bus had to speed around the city, keeping its' speed above 50, and if its' speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow down." Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin...but what good does that do me?
We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I...oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
I think my all time favourite quote, came from Treehouse of horror 3 in the King Homer segment. Mr Burns and Smithers are looking for a new woman (Marge) to join their boat and crew, and out pops this gem: Mr. Burns: What do you think Smithers? Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix. Mr. Burns: We know what you think. Young lady, you're hired!
Yet another Simpsons thread... My top ten favorite episodes (in rough order): 1. Lisa's First Word 2. Burns, Baby Burns (the Larry Burns episode) 3. Lisa's Date with Density (where she has a crush on Nelson) 4. Two Bad Neighbors (George Bush Sr. moves in across the street) 5. The Last temptation of Homer (the Mindy Simmons episode) 6. Homer's Barbershop Quarter 7. Last Exit to Springfield 8. Cape Feare 9. 22 Short films about Springfield 10. Bart Sells His Soul Like others, I think that seasons 3-8 were when the show was in its prime. If I had to rank my favorite seasons it would go: 1. Season 4 2. Season 7 3. Season 8 4. Season 5 5. Season 3 6. Season 6 (I found this one to be a little weaker than the others)
If a mod could edit the following into my previous post as a clarification of my statement, I would appreciate it. Thanks in advance: To clarify, I'm not saying Hulu is better than YouTube, far from it. What I'm saying is that YouTube sucks a lot more since the buyout since they've basically removed all the clips that don't come from Hulu. That's it. I'm not instigating a pissing contest, I'm lamenting the loss of content. Focus: Here's another classic, the whole rest of the episode where Homer accidentally "fixes" the toaster into a time machine was my favorite for a looong time. It's from one of the Treehouse of Horrors episodes:
Honestly, its hard for me to narrow it down to my favorites, but I have to mention a few things: My favorite 10 episodes, in no particular order: Flaming Moe's Marge versus the Monorail Lisa's First Word 22 Short Stories about Springfield Homer at the Bat (I can still sing the entire song, even without seeing the episode for years) Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy Homer the Great Homer's Barbershop Quartet And Maggie Makes Three (best Simpsons Episode ending, IMHO) Lemon of Troy Those top my list, and all are Season 6 and earlier. Personally, I own the entire first 10 seasons on DVD, and will likely get season 11 for Christmas, if only for shits and giggles. I don't watch it anymore on TV, but I will always be a huge fan of The Simpsons.
I think that one of the things that made the best Simpsons episodes were ones with original musical numbers. Years ago I was on a plane flight, and on the in-flight radio stations was a station that was nothing but the music from The Simpsons, and explanations about each song. And I can still remember the songs to this day, and the episodes too. Who Needs the Kwik E Mart We Put the Spring in Springfield Just to name a couple
The characters voiced by Phil Hartman were my favourite. It was such a shame that he died, but I'm glad that the producers/whoever decided not to try to get someone else to take over Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz. Troy McClure: Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!' From one of my favourite episodes (A fish called Selma) Marge: What are you talking about? Homer: You know, his bizarre personal life. Those weird things they say he does down at the aquarium. Why, I heard... Marge: Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that kind of thing with fish! Louie: Troy McClure!? You said he was dead! Fat Tony: No, what I said is that he sleeps with the fishes! You see... Louie: Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo. This was some of the Simpsons humour at its best, going for a subtle joke where they now might be worried that people wouldn't get it. Lionel Hutz: Marge, I had a lot of calls about you. Customers love your no-pressure approach. Marge: Well, like we say, the right house for the right person. Lionel Hutz: Listen, it's time I let you in on a little secret, Marge. "The right house" is the house that's for sale; the "right person" is anyone. Marge: But all I did was tell the truth! Lionel Hutz: Of course you did. But there's "the truth" (shakes head) and "the truth!" (smiles wide). Let me show you. Marge: It's awfully small. Lionel Hutz: I'd say it's awfully "cozy." Marge: That's dilapidated. Lionel Hutz: Rustic. Marge: That house is on fire! Lionel Hutz: "Motivated seller"! Homer: He's awake! Marge: Oh, Bart! We thought for a minute you'd gone away from us. Bart: I did go away, Mom! I was miles and miles and miles away, writhing in agony in the pits of Hell! And you were there! And you and you and you. You, I've never seen before. Homer: Hey, yeah, who are you? I saw you chasing Bart's ambulance. Lionel Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water. Homer: Ooh, classy. Lionel Hutz: "Motivated seller"!
Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Marge: Homer, have you been drinking? Homer: No.....well, ten beers.
Krusty: Hey kids, it's story time! [laughs] I'm gonna tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new suit. His sexual harassment suit! [begins to laugh, groans] ...oh boy. Anyway, as part of Krusty's plea bargain, he has a new court-ordered sidekick, Ms. No-Means-No! Whoa! You're hot! Let's get some dinner after the show! [Ms. No Means No blows her whistle and brandishes her 'No' sign at Krusty.] Krusty: But I have dinner with all my employees. Right, Sideshow Mel? Mel: We've never spoken outside of work. Bart: [watching on TV] I'm surprised he doesn't try to blame his problems on his Percodan addiction. Krusty: [Back on the show] It wasn't my fault! It was the Percodan! If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from our new sponsor... [reads card] ...Percodan?! Ahh crap!
The greatest Simpsons quote of all time: Beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. Genius.
Homer: No beer and no TV make Homer go ...something something Marge: Go Crazy? Homer: Don't mind if I do!
Bart: Lisa, quick! Cut off my hands! Lisa: BART! Noooo! Then who'll cut off my hands? Bart: Okay, cut mine half way off, then I'll have enough strength to.. Marge: GET TO WORK!
Yeah, I remember seeing that clipshow episode with all the music numbers and knowing all the words to all of them. That's when I realized that I probably watch this show too much, since it was not one episode I knew word-for-word, but like eight of them. FOCUS: My favourite all-time episode is probably the one where Homer sees the alien that's really Mr. Burns. A few choice quotes: Mulder: I don't see the point to this test. Scully: No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight. Mulder: His jiggling is...almost hypotic. Scully (hypnotically): Yes. It's like a lava lamp. Homer: The alien had a soft, soothing voice, like Urkel. And he appears every Friday night, like Urkel. Wiggum: Sure thing, mister Jackass, I mean, Simpson. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter. La la la la la, doo doo doo doo doo. Homer: You don't have to humiliate me too. Pyromaniac: I just burned down a building and I'm afraid I'll do it again! Wiggum: Oh, sure. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter. Fruitcake. Grandpa: Help! That turtle stole my teeth! Get back here, you! Scully: Ugh, this is the worst case we've ever been on. Mulder: Worse than the time we were attacked by that flesh-eating virus? Grandpa: Ow! He bit me with my own teeth! Scully: No, this is much more irritating. And perhaps my favourite all-time quote Moe: Who knew a whale could be so heavy? Yeah, all of those were from memory. I didn't realize how much this show was a part of my life. Also, Marge Be Not Proud is on TV right now. I'd forgotten some of the funny shit in there. Bart: Milhouse, do you ever worry your mom might stop loving you? Milhouse: No, I'm more worried about piranhas. You remember that movie where they sent that submarine to fight the piranhas, and then one swam down the periscope and bit that guy's eye, and he goes "AH! AH! AH!" and that old lady told him it would happen? Bart: Yeah, that was pretty good. Homer: I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no eggnog. In fact, no nog period. Third, absolutely no stealing for three months. TV Announcer: Welcome to A Krusty Kinda Kristmas, brought to you by ILG, selling your body's fluids after you die, and by Li'l Sweetheart Cupcakes, a subsidiary of ILG. Homer: Stealing! I can't believe it! Haven't you listened to that guy who gives those sermons at church, captain what's-his-name? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to those Police Academy movies, for fun?! Well, I didn't hear anyone laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects (Homer imitates several sound effects, ending with an explosion). Hehehehe...where was I? Oh yeah, stay outta my booze. Store detective: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka. Yeah, that's right, Don Brodka. I just caught your son Bart shoplifting. Uh-huh. That's right. Well, try and have a merry Christmas. (hangs up) They weren't home. Uh-huh, that's right.
This is taken from the best Simpsons' episode of all time - "Boy Scoutz 'n the Hood" "This ain't one of your church picnic flare-gun firings, Flanders!"