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Gross and solipsistic is the New Cool.

Discussion in 'New Thread Suggestions' started by Crown Royal, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

    Oct 31, 2009
    London, Ontario
    Given recent neckbeard discussions around the board, I thought we could have some fun and get our fangs out once again.

    Our animal of the day is Neckbeards. Now, for those unfamiliar, a neckbeard is yes, a beard growing on a man's neck. It's never attractive and frankly repellant, but that word has actually transformed into a demographic of people-- entirely men-- that not necessarily HAVE neckbeards (although many do) but are any of the following characteristics: disheveled, overweight, self-entitled know-it-all, one-uppmanship, unhygienic, delusional, and proud for all the wrong reasons.

    On the internet, you'll encounter neckbeards on popular message boards where they will intentionally start debates on subjects they are familiar with in order to give constant self-high-fives to themselves as they bombard everyone with condescending opinions and insults as they stain their forearms and laptops with Cheetos and Red Alert-brand Mountain Dew. And let's not forget that sexy Indiana Jones-hugging-a-dominatrix look they love gravitating to.

    Encountering the elusive and brave Neckbeard in real life is a much more disturbing. Aside from their gag-inducing personal appearance as demonstrated lately on the WDT, they love butting into conversations and interrupting, never backing down from their opinions on topics that people usually like to avoid in the first place and basically pissing off everyone within earshot. An example:


    ..meanwhile in reality The Neckbeard spend e very night alone in his parent's laundry room-converted into an efficiency apartment, the only machine he rages against has "Maytag" written on it and masturbates himself to sleep while weeping, using his tears as lube. Then he wakes up to spend two hours on various message forums bitching about how Sharon Stone is losing her looks and anybody who likes the new Superman uniform is a treasonous asshole. They are, in fact, Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.

    They are brave, handsome, endlessly charismatic, brilliant and self-made. And they DEMAND your respect, which you WILL give them.

    Focus: Neckbeards: opinions, encounters, experiences, and how to kill them. Have at them, you jackals.