Grad Season

I just finished my MBA, my roommate just finished his BS and all the world seems aflutter with ending school. Now I have to figure out what the fuck to do with my life.

Focus: What did you do to celebrate graduation? What was your post-grad plan?

Also, what the fuck do you give a graduate as a gift?

 

I graduated college (again) yesterday. I celebrated by saying "Get me out of this fucking robe and get me the fuck out of this blazing hell."

It's was a tad hot. Whatever. At least this time it wasn't a useless arts degree. And high school? Bro, fuck high school. An institution that judges you by athletic ability/easiness. What a crock.

And the student union president giving this Carnegie bullshit speech about charging forward and using your new-found skills. This is Canada, sweetie. Effort doesn't mean shit. You get ahead by being related to your boss. You left that part out.

Now I get to the DJ grad dances, three this year. Where every time I play a new song, they scream like they're on a roller coaster. Noise cancelling headphones are very handy.

 

I travelled to celebrate both graduations. My friends and I went on a road trip after high school graduation, and I went to Paris alone after college graduation.

My post-grad plans were to write for magazines/websites/newspapers as I worked my way up to being an editor somewhere. But, a year before graduation I was starting my career with an unpaid internship at a magazine in NYC at the same time as several big name legacy publications folded, the print industry/journalism as a whole was collapsing in on itself, Wall Street guys were throwing themselves off buildings, and I was peeking at the resumes of the other people waiting in cattle calls for open part-time jobs at frozen yogurt shops to see that their most recent employer was JP Morgan. Things weren't all that much better a year later. So things have not exactly gone according to plan.

 

I have two brothers with college degrees and a college degree myself. Never been to a graduation at any level.

 

After highschool graduation I went with my family to one of those mom and pop mexican food places where the waiters don't speak english and more importantly they don't check IDs before serving margaritas. I got very drunk that night, while everyone else (as in, I was the only one not in attendance) went to one of those project graduation things where they have "fun and games" and adults to make sure there's no drinking. I win.

My college diploma is still in its envelope. I originally majored in English writing, then journalism, then like audrey saw what was happening in the journalism world so got off that bus quicker than a white kid on skid row. My degree ended up being in public speaking, and while the education has been insanely useful, I've just never needed to utilize my degree for anything. Had them mail it to me and continued on with my life. More important things to do than that.

As for gifts, cash and booze. Keep it simple.

 

When I finished my MBA I skipped the commencement ceremony. However, when my diploma came in the mail, my wife (soon-to-be-ex-) ripped it up right in front of me.

Am I doing this right?

 

What a cunt.

 

After my first degree, my roommate and I went to Atlanta to party, went to a couple strip clubs and then ended up in some high rise top floor bar dancing with 3 cougars for about an hour . . . then it gets a little foggy . . . then neither of us remember how we got back to our hotel, when we woke up the next morning. At least, I don't remember, and he says he doesn't remember either. I do know that I was wearing different clothes when I woke up than I from the last part of the evening that I did remember. Then, drove back to school hungover to march in the ceremony that evening.

After my second degree, the celebration was simply having dinner with my family afterwards, but the ceremony was unique. One of my fellow graduates had been involved in a scandal, ratting on some classmates and the administration. He wore a bullet proof vest and was booed loudly as we walked across the stage. There were cops all around the platform and some people shot those yellow rubber bb's. He walked across, shook the president's hand, very quiet, no big deal. Then, his wife followed him across the stage (she apparently had orchestrated the whole thing) and after she got her diploma, she turned to the ground and flipped everybody off.

Good times.

Yes, you are doing the bolded part right.

 

No, you are not doing it right. Shoulda pushed her down some stairs first.

 

He didn't say she was pregnant.

 

I don't really remember HS or undergrad graduation. They were a million years ago and probably lame.

I celebrated finishing grad school by going to Montana for a week with the husband and friends. I came home and started my job the next day. Looking back I wish I had taken another week off. Money's nice and everything, but another week of lazy would've been sweet.

 

Due to thunderstorms my HS graduation turned into a shit show. My HS holds the commencement at the stadium which is across town from the school. A thunderstorm rolled through and the administration made the decision to move the ceremony well after all the students arrived at the stadium as well as most of the families. Despite the well announced rain contingency of a four family member limit for the gym, many thought their extended family would be the exception. I ended up having to walk about a half mile to get to the school due to the lack of parking. The only reason I was even went to the school instead of saying 'fuck it' was my parents would've strangled me if I hadn't.

I didn't have any desire to walk at my college graduation either, but again my parents threatened death. At least that was in December, so for a large state university, it was fairly small and already planned for an inside venue. Afterwards, I spent the evening playing cards with my buddies following dinner with our families.