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Going South

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, May 28, 2010.

  1. downndirty

    downndirty
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    My girlfriend just moved to South Cackalack, and she is alternately horrified and overjoyed by some of the stranger customs here. For example: the booze laws mystify her. She will call me and ask how to purchase alcohol. The fried food, the sweet tea, the barbecue all are enchanting to her. I've lived here for a good portion of my life, so I'm immune to some of the utter insanity that goes on here.

    Focus: the South. Likes, dislikes, fascinations.
    Alt. Focus: What is the craziest state in the Union?

    I have long suspected that SC is the home to more lunacy than many other states.

    You may remember our Representative calling the President of the United States a liar, much like you would if he denied stealing your cookies at snack time. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/09/gop-rep-wilson-yells-out_n_281480.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/0 ... 81480.html</a>

    You may also recall the man who was charged with fucking a horse: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/29/rodell-vereen-sc-man-char_n_247245.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/2 ... 47245.html</a>

    A brief glance at Wikipedia points out SC was the first to secede in the Civil War, implemented women's suffrage in 1979, and is home to the infamous Bob Jones University.

    Finally, our admired state governor lied to his staff about having an affair with an Argentinian...reporter. If you are a public official and you are doing something you need to be kept a secret, shouldn't you do it with someone....NOT A REPORTER? I don't know many reporters, but I do not think they would be good at keeping secrets.
     
  2. JohnQ

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    When I lived in Texas as a little kid, back in the 80's, there was a law that stores could not sell toys on Sunday. The grocery store had an aisle with some toys on it, and they would actually go so far as to put up sheets of plastic at either end of that aisle to keep you from even looking at them. I doubt that one exists anymore.

    The alcohol laws where I am now in Tennessee are somewhat strange to me, but probably pretty common. No liquor sales on Sunday, while beer is still allowed to be sold. Beer is apparently not allowed in liquor stores, for some reason, because there are a ton of places here where the liquor and beer store are attached, but that you have to go outside to walk around between them. Anywhere you sell liquor can't sell ANYTHING else that doesn't have alcohol in it.

    I pretty much hate the south due to all the religious fanatacism, racism, and even more so, the accents. The only positives I've found so far is the mild climate and beautiful scenery.
     
  3. toddus

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    Bullshit. That is about as big a broad sweeping statement as I have ever heard. Yes that exists in the South but is only a small part of it and is for the most part changing swiftly. The people are friendlier, the women are hotter and the gun laws are laxer. Above all BBQ, the South could be populated by nothing but Roseanne Barr clones and on BBQ alone I would still be willing to live there.
     
  4. Drake

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    Georgia has just recently, re-affirmed our right as a state to secede from the Union. Welcome to 1860...

    <a class="postlink" href="http://blogs.ajc.com/jay-bookman-blog/2009/04/16/georgia-senate-threatens-dismantling-of-usa/?cxntfid=blogs_jay_bookman_blog" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://blogs.ajc.com/jay-bookman-blog/2 ... okman_blog</a>
     
  5. ec88

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    I agree. Though I have only visited the south and have never lived in a southern state, everytime I have gone down there, people are always really friendly, the BBQ is phenomenal, and the women... oh yes, the women...

    I thought it was funny when I was talking to this guy who asked where I was from. I told him Washington State. His response: "Oh, I though I recognized your accent." I didn't know southerners thought us northwesterners had accents until then.
     
  6. gtg2k

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    I'm sorry, my friend, but I think most would disagree about the accents. When I was single, I found that slightly playing up my Southern accent outside of the South would get me more action than I could handle. And I think most me would agree with me that a sexy woman with a Southern accent sounds better than a sexy woman that sounds like something from Jersey Shore.

    As far as wondering about beer not in liquor stores, here's the rule. Tennessee ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Commission) states that anything at 6% ABV or less can be sold in a general retail establishment with license to sell alcohol. Anything greater than 6% must be sold at specified retail locations, i.e. liquor stores. This is where you'll get your "big beers".

    FOCUS: I've traveled to a decent sized portion of the US, and spent time in Europe, but I would be hard pressed to live outside of the South. Beautiful weather and scenery, great food, decent cost of living, and above all, hospitality. I'm not saying the South is not full of ills. In fact, I live in a city that many feel is one of the more racially charged cities in America. And yes, there is ignorance here in droves, but the times are changing and progress is coming.

    On a personal note, my sister and her fiance moved to Philadelphia 3 years ago so he could go to Temple Law School. They've both told me they're moving back to the South as soon as she finishes school next year. When I asked why, they told me Philadelphia is the most racist place they've ever been in their lives. And this coming from people who've lived in Memphis, New Orleans (pre- and post-Katrina), and Charlotte, NC. They both told me when moving north 3 years ago that they couldn't wait to leave the South and move somewhere more "progresssive and tolerant", and when I reminded them of their earlier words, they both said they'd be happy to eat crow, as long as there was some barbecue sauce and sweet tea.

    I think I made my point.
     
  7. Kels

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    +1 confirmation on this. A bit of a southern accent gets shocking amounts of attention, especially in the rest of the US and Western Europe.
     
  8. dixiebandit69

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    OK, this is completely off topic, so the mods can delete it if they want, but anyone who claims that they don't have an accent is an arrogant prick, and if I ever meet you, I will at least berate you and at worst kick you square in the nuts or clit.

    My mom was an English teacher, like her mother before her, so she was always getting onto me about using proper grammar, ennunciating my words properly, spelling, etc. Most parents don't do this, so most of the kids talked like morons, mispronouncing words left and right. Not just the kids either. This was an especially annoying habit with teachers, because many times when taking spelling tests, I would have to ask the teacher to clarify what word she was actually saying ("Mrs. ________, do you mean CHop or SHop?" Many people in this area get the "sh" and "ch" sounds confused, as well as the "y" and the "j" sound. "You need to take a shower" comes out sounding like "Jew need to take a chower.").

    The whole time I was growing up, assholes would tell me "You have a weird accent! Where are you from?"
    When I would tell them that I was from right here in Texas, they would deny it, as though I were trying to decieve them. I heard that crap from everyone, from school kids to teachers to strangers I just met. Now see, this wouldn't have been nearly as aggravating if the assholes in question didn't staunchly deny that they too had some form of accent (come on, we were living right next to Mexico, and English wasn't most peoples' first language). Some of them would even get mad at me for implying that they had some form of accent.

    In case anyone is wondering what I talk like, I have been told that I talk and sound similar to Don Draper/Jon Hamm.

    Edit: This doesn't just apply to English. When I was learning Spanish, we were taught proper Spanish, which is not what is spoken around here. I really couldn't tell you what I sound like when speaking Spanish, but the people in these parts have a pretty horrendous accent, which makes it really difficult to tell what is being said a lot of the time if you don't speak like they do, so I often have to ask people to repeat themselves several times. Likewise, I'm sure I probably sound pretty strange to them, but I guess they give me a pass because it is obviously not my first language.
    Ex: Pescado, Spanish for fish. Most people don't pronounce the 'd' for some reason, so it comes out "Pescow." If you know what word they are trying to say, you can fill in the blanks in your head, but if you weren't expecting them to say that, you can get confused really fast.
     
  9. JohnQ

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    I should probably clarify on the accents thing that the ones I hate are just the white trash sounding accent. I like the charming "southern belle" accent..

    And for whoever is suggesting I'm a yankee, I was born in Texas, and that and Tennessee are the only places I've lived.
     
  10. cynismus

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    Disclaimer - I was born and raised in Texas and have never lived anywhere else (and probably never will)

    Love the BBQ in the south. And the ladies. And the football.

    I don't hate a lot about living here, but I sure am not a fan of having to go to a separate store to buy liquor. Also, drivers in Houston and Austin.

    Other people have touched on this, but hospitality is amazing here. One of my coworkers recently relocated to Iowa and was down here for a training. I asked him how it was up there compared to Texas, and the first thing he said was that the hospitality is nowhere the same. He told me how he (holding his two kids, both under the age of 2) and his wife (holding diaper bags etc) had to open doors for themselves at restaurants or wherever even though there were people that were around. Not holding a door open for someone, much less parents with full hands? That would never happen in the south.
     
  11. ec88

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    It was ignorance, that was during my freshmen year of high school. And until then, I had never really thought that I had an accent which I thought was funny. In no way was I being an arrogant prick.
     
  12. carpenter

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    The funniest people I've ever met are from the South.
    They almost always have the best stories about some cousin.
    Usually the stories tend to involve firearms or fireworks instead of the usual Northern dick and fart jokes.
    Florida has the most crazy/stupid per capita, if the Internet is to be believed.
    Hawaii has some serious crazy here too. I work with a guy who bets thousands on a chicken fight. The crazy part? Random chickens. He doesn't raise or own chickens, knows shit-all about them, picks them because of how they look.
    People build houses close to the active volcano on the big island.
    Once every couple of years you hear about someone's house bursting into flames.
     
  13. Dyson004

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    Ah, home. I miss home.

    Currently I reside in Washington DC, but I'm from Charlotte, NC. I'm not allowed to open carry or conceal carry my gun in public. I feel naked at times. My heart aches for some good old fashioned Eastern North Carolina Barbeque Sauce over Pulled Pork. The barbeque sauce with a vinegar base that's tangy, not that sweet barbeque sauce with a molasses base. I miss being able to go into any establishment and being able to order sweet tea, without asking first, if they do in fact have sweet tea.

    I miss the traffic patterns and driving habits of the south. You can tell I'm a southerner by the way I drive. If I have to brave DC traffic, I stick to the right lanes, I drive slower then most of yous guys, and I have trouble with the intersections because the lights aren't hanging from the power lines/pole above the intersection, they're posts on the sidewalks. Driving used to be one of my favorite things to do back home. Especially when you get out of the city, or on the less traveled back roads late at night. There is nothing more liberating then hitting 80 mph with the windows down. Up here, there are simply too many cars to be aware of, and if the roads happen to be empty, there are simply too many cameras waiting to hit me with a ticket for going too fast or taking that light a second too late.

    As far as the women? It's no secret that I enjoy ladies with more melanin then not. DC has the south beat in terms of variety, but I may reconsider this position after I take a trip to Atlanta, but until then, you typically have 2 or 3 archetypes that are prolific in the south. I always notice this when I come home and go out. This is not the case in DC. My southern upbringing serves me well. The women here love my southern sensibilities.

    A point of contention though: The south is not monolithic. I've always considered the South to be along the lines of NC,SC,TN,GA and states similar to those. If you go further, I've always considered the Deep South to be states like AL, MS, and LA, but I've never considered Florida or Texas apart of the South. I've always considered them to both be regions unto themselves because they're just different. They definitely have southern tendencies, but they definitely get their own category.
     
  14. Fernanthonies

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    I will absolutely agree that the hospitality is one of the nicest things about living in the south, along with BBQ. I fucking love BBQ.

    Also, nice, big, natural, farm raised southern titties. Put some bbq sauce on a pair of those and you've found heaven.

    Of course, I live in Oklahoma which I admit is debatable about being a southern state, but we definitely have southern tendencies. I would say OK, TX and some others are southern, while LA to the Carolinas are the deep south.

    One of the worst parts about living in my neck of the woods is, of course, the fucking severe weather, but whatever, I'm used to it. When its nice, its real nice. I love sitting outside on a nice, warm May day drinking beer and just enjoying life.
     
  15. Decatur Dave

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    What I've learned in my ten years living between Atlanta and Orlando.

    -Instead of White Castle, there's this delicious little square burger called Krystal that is the superior little square burger.
    -If you want a POP ask for a Coke.
    -If you ask for directions you'll actually get some.
    -Everyone's really nice, cause we're all allowed to carry guns.
    -You can walk so slow someone standing still will pass you.
    -Every crazy story starts with 'my cousins in Alabama...'
     
  16. Czechvodkabaron

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    I live in Atlanta and have never really lived anywhere else, unless you count my two years at FSU and two years at UGA.

    One upside is that Georgia girls are good looking. FSU was where I went for my first two years of college and I couldn't believe how many fat chicks and ugly chicks there were at what is always considered a top party school. The women at UGA win in the attractiveness category hands down; I don't care what the magazines/websites that have ranked that kind of thing said.

    This is probably obvious, but the traffic and air quality in Atlanta SUCK. I am no environmentalist but even I think it's ridiculous how bad it has gotten.

    In Georgia you can buy alcohol at bars and restaurants on Sundays but not packaged alcohol. Talk about ridiculous.

    Another good thing about Atlanta are all the nice restaurants. If you want fine dining you will not be disappointed. And the people who have talked about the good bbq in this thread were probably referring to Texas mainly, but if you know of anywhere in Atlanta to get good bbq please let me know, because I have yet to find a good bbq place here.
     
  17. WASPnest

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    I've never been to the south but they make some of the funnest customers you can hope to work with. They're just so fucking friendly.

    And I've gotta love any place that shit like this comes from.

    I guess I like southerners because you can laugh with them or at them.
     
    #17 WASPnest, May 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. shegirl

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    I thought this thread was about something WAY different. It's about banjos and BBQ. Whoops.
     
  19. Supertramp

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    Ditto; I was all ready to bust out my allusions to pennies-in-lemon-juice and the like.

    That Dale Peterson video is tremendous. I would vote for him just for the half-assed Mr. Ed attempt.

    edit: I just googled "What does vagina taste like" to come up with more funny lines and I stumbled upon this

    http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/39643 - if you scroll down to the comment with a picture it's the below text.

     
  20. MooseKnuckle

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    I got family in southern Missouri and I make it down there about once a year to visit. I absolutely love it. The way people talk to each other is awesome. There's always some hilarious simile that people use to describe things. For the life of me I can't remember a single one, but I know I hear that shit all the time down there. My family live on farms and every time I go down there someone is having some big fucking BBQ or fish fry that all the farmers in a 30 mile radius come to. Those things are always a good time.

    Last time I was down there I saw a homemade sign on the side of the road that said "fresh proudese" with an arrow pointing the way to what I can only assume would be produce. I mentioned this hilarious observation to a few people at the party and every last one of them said something like "I drive by that fuckin sign 10 times a day and I ain't never seen nothin funny about them words." Eventually people started giving the proudese owner shit about his spelling (which is funny because none of them noticed it), it was some old dude with the greatest beard/overalls combo I've ever seen. After taking some shit he said "I'm so fuckin sorry. My fuckin theosaurus (pronounced like a dinosaur) was broken. You stupid fucking fuckers know what it means"

    Oh, and shit like this is more common you would think:
     

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