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Gobble Gobble Mother Effers! Thanksgiving Drunk Thread 2009!

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Nov 25, 2009.

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  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Alright, alright. I blame myself for starting this, but can we all avoid being like every other nincompoop chat room in the universe and not start a Can-Am holy war in here, people? We're both awesome, and we've both won the Stanley Cup and The World Series (take THAT, Turkmenistan with your faggy gold statues!!!!). Can me just skip to the make-up sex already? I'm not getting a buzz until tomorrow and I think I killed it already.

    Fuck you. My grandfather orphaned ten Kraut kids with one machine gun clip. The other was a Spitfire pilot. He was shot down twice.
     
  2. Kratos

    Kratos
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    You forgot we both make sweet beer.

    I wasn't really being too serious but probably took it too far, my apologies. Like I always say, I essentially live in Canada South.

    I've decided to not drink tonight and stay in and watch movies with a "friend". If it's a good night, I won't be posting much on here tonight. If it goes downhill, expect frequent posts.

    (I'd venture to say it will be the latter and not the former)
     
  3. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    Interesting trip in the RV today. We were cruising along the 101 North of Santa Barbara, where the winds were gusting about 45+ mph ripped off part of the awning. I had to climb up there with a knife to cut the awning down along the side of the highway with gusting and the thinking that the thing was going to fall over with each gust.

    Made myself a huge martini after that.
     
  4. Kratos

    Kratos
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    With a name like kuhjager, I thought you have gone straight to shots after that feat.
     
  5. Dufresne

    Dufresne
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    Average Idiot

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    Current female I'm seeing dragged me to A Christmas Carol 3D tonight. I had to drink heavily after that one. Ended up having a pitcher of stout to myself, and then some.

    Currently taking about three times as long to type a post, but I can still catch my spelling mistakes, damn it!
     
  6. Sherwood

    Sherwood
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    Fight with my girlfriend when she was supposed to be staying here led to her storming out just before midnight to drive home, this is gonna be a pain in the ass tomorrow.

    But seriously, I spent all day cleaning my room while hungover as all hell (thanksgiving = my family getting piss drunk) and then she drags me to a mall and starts yelling at me about how the "nice tie" she bought me was behind me bed. The fucking tag is on it. She bought me 3 cheap ties right before my brother's wedding in august. I haven't had to wear a fucking tie since, what's the difference? Then when I snap back and tell her not to look through shit behind my bed she freaks out that I'm yelling at her and leaves. Fuck, what a stupid fight. 4 years and the fights just get dumber and dumber.

    So after she stormed out I drank 4 beers and took one of the Oxycodones I have left over from a wisdom tooth removal in August, and now at least I'll be able to go to sleep. Eventually. It's 1:30 and I truly should have gone to bed hours ago. But I went on Hulu and watched The League. Highly recommended, great stuff very funny. The cast is good, too.
     
  7. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
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    TiB/RMMB has been known for being irreverent, but it's time someone drew a line. (Thanks ghettoaustronaut) Our fucking military is the line. Respect assholes. Like you expect and deserve for yours.

    P.S.
    Sorry I fucked up the quotes and the authors aren't identified properly. I'm hammered but I can still spell idenitfy. I think.
     
  8. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
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    Ummm, sorry. I was being sensitive. Let's talk about anal sex. Wait! Too sensitive for this board too. Damn. Needle point? Yes? No? Maybe I should go to bed.
     
  9. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    So another Sat. here at work. But today I am working a cover shift in customer service. Fuck this.

    So someone tell me if this makes sense.

    My company has been pushing our "Free Shipping" deal all month, and just this week sent out 2 email blasts about it to our customers.

    Now here are the details in the fine print:
    We have included a selection of products on this page for your consideration, but this offer applies to any combination of products which total $100 or more before taxes.
    . Per-item shipping charges are not included in this offer and it is not available for orders shipping 3-Day Air, 2nd Day Air or Next Day Air. Offer is not combinable with other promotions and may not be applied to orders in-process or previous purchases.

    The vast majority of our items are huge, and have these "per item" charges, which can amount to over 30 bucks.

    So a customer comes in and sees "Free Shipping!!!!OMG!!!" then places their order to get hit with a 30-50 dollar charge because of what the fine print says I have spent the past hour dealing with people about this bullshit, and the upper management is standing by their decision to keep calling it free shipping.

    People are pissed. I don't know how you people who work in customer service all the time handle customers.

    So anyway, is this not some sort of bait and switch?
     
  10. CoolHandPete

    CoolHandPete
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    Village Idiot

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    Getting ready for a wedding. Started drinking not to long ago. Fat Tire is the shit. Its going to be a long one. Maybe I'll post when the keys get real blurry. Or maybe I won't. Who knows?
     
  11. Sherwood

    Sherwood
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    Mmmm... a 4 pack of Weyerbacher Heresy (Oak Aged Imperial Stout) followed by a couple singles of I-Forget-what in the fridge all while eating leftover pie?

    Color me content.
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    The Knob Creek is hitting these lips around 7 pm, then the downward spiral begins. See you soon, piss, filth and blood-stained gutter.
     
  13. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    How does anyone that works in customer service not put a bullet in their head? The average person is an idiot, but when they think they've been wronged they turn into savage monkeys on crack and attack any innocent person they can. As a customer service person all you can do is take their abuse. I'd kill myself and my co-workers (Just to put them out of the impending misery) if I had to deal with even a day of that shit.

    I had a small taste of it when I worked for UPS as an IT specialist. Occasionally when the tech support calls got backed up we had to put on a headset and tell Ruth in shipping that her Caps lock button was on or that she needed to reboot. It was aggravating, but tolerable.

    Then on December 24th I got a call from a screaming banshee. It took me 5 full minutes to calm her down and figure out what the fuck was going on. At first I thought she'd mis-dialed 911 and got UPS tech support and was screaming about her head catching on fire. I finally calmed her down enough to speak real words at an audible level and the first thing I understood was "You ruined my wedding you cocksucker."

    Moi? What the fuck did I do?

    It turns out she ordered her wedding dress on Dec 23rd with next day delivery. After about the 20th of December UPS doesn't guarantee Next Day Air because of the volume of packages.

    Sure that may not be common knowledge, but it is stated somewhere. And how stupid are you to order your wedding dress one day before your wedding and then call a computer tech to bitch at them about it and refuse to be transfered to customer service because I knew fuck all about where packages are?

    Now I'm pissed off. Time for another beer.
     
  14. iczorro

    iczorro
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    I'm on the second to last day of a six day work week, and I only have Monday off before I start another. I fully plan to get mind erasing drunk Sunday night. Like, more than just the 750 of Ketel One I had last night.
     
  15. breakylegg

    breakylegg
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    Experienced Idiot

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    So in other words, ie the truth, if you buy an unusally small item it will ship for free and should arrive before "Christmas" (next Christmas).

    Stop reading this and go in the back room and stab yourself.
     
  16. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Living in the middle of nowhere really sucks sometimes.

    I took a nap this afternoon, as us older folks are often wont to do, and woke up with an inexplainable craving for Taco Bell.

    It's a 20+ mile to the nearest fast food restaurant, but damn it this was an itch that had to be scratched. 20 odd miles of driving with nothing on the radio but Christmas music and I was ready to open fire on someone., but I did it with no one getting hurt.

    Then I got to Taco Bell, went to the drive through and placed my order. As directed I pulled up to the next window behind an Escalade. Apparently the Escalade driver had ordered from a Burger King two miles down the road to be delivered to Taco Bell because I sat behind that damn thing for 10 minutes.

    Finally the Cadillac vacated the window spot and I paid for and received my food in about 30 seconds. I then drove the 20 odd miles home and eagerly bit into my burrito supreme (With extra sour cream) only to discover it was filled with tomato chunks. I'm deathly allergic to tomatoes and I ordered my shit without tomatoes. The whole damn bag of food went into the garbage.

    That's an hour of my life that I would've been much better off sleeping through.

    Now back to drinking. On an empty stomach. This could get interesting.
     
  17. Will-Furry

    Will-Furry
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  18. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    Actually went out last night and got hammered. Friends band playing, tons of friends in town for 10 year reunion and a cute Army boy that kicked out $180 for a room here so we could spend the night together and be within walking distance of where our cars were both parked.

    I came home after a couple hours of blissful sleep and curled up in the bed with my dog to sleep for another 6 hours. Only to wake up with a raging hangover, dehydrated and lacking the ability to walk correctly. The sex was totally worth it though.

    Edit to include a rant: We were in the shower at some point and he said "I have to pee and I'm just going to do it" Ok whatever. I really don't care. But I think he peed on my leg. I'm that cool girl that didn't freak out either.
     
  19. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    Just had a few buddies and one of his new girlfriends over for beer and pizza. Lots of both, in fact. Glorious.

    EDIT: The receipts from one of the pizza places actually has "cigarettes" as a category of what you can order. I'll have to ask them about that one day.
     
  20. Primer

    Primer
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    Aham, suck my dick thanbksfivving. Seriosuly.

    I win. Definite win over all of the recent or past thanksgivings that may or may not have been withing my last few ytears. I will chjew on the rinds of my victory for years too come. There is no possible loss in my zone,.

    FUCKL YOU COMMA KEY! FUCK.
    Ijm recent news: I am awesome. Went out too a house party a frind of a fgriend was throwing and definitny made new lelvels of sweet. I have to floor my aunts house tomooorow (or today; boourns), but I got three of numbers out of the deal and fucked the planet with my mind=-cock.

    Fiuuiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckk...................s


    >
     
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