This is the angry old bastard thread, it has a simple format. Crime: Fat bastard standing in the middle of a long escalator causing you to be bottlenecked behind them as their knees creek. Appropriate reaction (AR): Ask them nicely to move aside, try not to get any gravy on your shirt as you shimmy past them, try not to become too angry when you realize the 30 seconds you saved wasn’t worth the trauma of interacting and inadvertently touching the clammy landbeast. Fantasy reaction (FR): Kick out their knees and ride them to the top like an over sized surf board. After reaching the top and executing a dismount a 13 year old Russian gymnast would envy the escalator drags your discarded blubberboard into its metal maw and conveys the slush to the local soylent green factory. These escalators also capture unwary and stupid children, thereby reintroducing Darwinian selection back into the mix. Yeah it’s a slow day in the office and there haven’t been any fun threads on here for ages. Also this happened to me in the supermarket yesterday and shat me to tears, I’m not a patient man. Focus: Outline a situation where political correctness or proper etiquette or common courtesy prevail. Now comment on how you really feel or what you would do given the opportunity and resources.