Get Hotwheelz Laid

There's the special first time that HotWheelz was looking for. Durbanite holding one side of the dead hooker and telling HW all about how he's totally better off this way. Ballsack holding the other side, mentioning mid way through that he hopes HotWheelz doesn't mind sloppy seconds, but damned if he'd pick up a dead hooker and not throw one down her on the way back. The first aromatic juices of decomposure leaking out of her eye sockets and over HotWheelz junk and a collective agreement that dead or alive, it's still better when they're crying. It's a romantic comedy that writes itself.

 

I think she accomplished that already.


What? Too close?


There is another option. If you don't mind an older lady HW, we could always try to find a Parkinsons sufferer. You lie there, she lies there, job's done.

 

I'm pretty sure that would be an awesome SNL skit.

Also, no on the Parkinsons, it'd just remind me of my grandma.

 

Dude I don't think you can define a girl being introduced by a friend to an internet forum attempt to get a kid in a wheelchair laid and her not following through on plans to fuck him as bad luck. It having come to fruition would be lottery winning lucky.

If you can find a girl to sleep with you it will come via organic means and not any internet forumathon. Any girl who agrees via these means will almost always fall through as she will be doing it for her own motivations. This will hurt exponentially more as due to the origins of the discourse your expectations were higher than if it had begun organically.

 

What's the issue here, will the nurse not point your chair at the wall?

But hotwheelz if it makes you feel any better this entire deal was pretty much prostitution (really expensive prostitution) from the start, you just got to talk to the whore first. I mean, someone was paying for a girl to come on vacation for a week to LA, and all she had to do was fuck you.

 

Baby steps, Wheelz.

Start with a fleshlight. I bet itd be infinitely easier to find someone to hold a fleshlight as you pound away. Hell, you could even convince your nurse it's a medical neccesity.

if that doesn't work, maybe cut a hole in your bed, stick the fleshlight in there, and flop til you stop.

 

Why didn't we suggest the fleshlight earlier? Shit, he may not even need a fleshlight. Just a sock and some lotion.

Also; be prepared HW; pussy is like money. Once you have a little bit, you want more. Make sure it's consistent pussy and not a one time thing, or you're going to be in a worse position.

 

Not really. She was never going to do it. The game just strung out until she could find something to 'convince' her not to do it.

 

Couldn't agree more.

I agree here too but let me put it another way-- a much longer, more expository way.

In her mind, she was going to do it. She heard about the situation, imagined having sex with a wheel-chair bound boy, and imagined it was something she would enjoy. So, she said yes.

She didn't imagine who the boy was. She didn't imagine where he lived. She didn't imagine packing her bags, getting on a flight that an anonymous stranger was paying for, didn't imagine getting off the flight, didn't imagine meeting you for the first time, didn't imagine staying at your place, didn't imagine spending many days in a town she'd never been to, staying with people she'd never met, going places she'd never seen, being glued to the hip of a wheel-chair-bound boy who expects sex no matter what she might be feeling at any given moment.

As the reality of the situation dawned on her, she became less sure. As she became less sure, she withdrew. She didn't come out and say anything because she didn't know that she wasn't going to come. She was conflicted. She didn't want to tell you that she was conflicted when she hadn't actually decided not to go. She thought to herself, "As long as the date hasn't come yet, there's still a chance I'll go, so I shouldn't say I'm even thinking of not coming because that would be too upsetting for him."

Now, YOU know, and everyone here knows, that her withdrawing and refusing to respond to your messages and only giving a definitive "no" at the last minute, made you feel way, way worse about everything. WE know that if she'd just told you right away that she was having doubts, you would be supportive of that and not pressured her to do anything she didn't want to do. But SHE didn't know that and she still doesn't.

That's romance. That's life. If you can learn from this, you'll be better off. If you want to end up like many, many, many TiB and former RMMB members, then you can decide that she's a giant cock tease who hurt you on purpose because she has no respect for you.

 

I cant imagine what the conversation with her mother was like.

Girl- "Yeah, I'm going on vacation to LA"

Mom- "How in the fuck can you afford that?"

Girl- "Someone else is paying for it. Don't worry"

Mom- "Why are they doing that? What are you doing in return?"

Girl- "I'm going to sleep with a random, wheel chair bound, quadrapolegic that my friend randomly knows from an internet message board most famous for threads about poop"

Mom- "No, seriously"

Then the mom just shakes her head in disgust. I imagine if she really did ask her mom she may have been thrown a swift beating also.

Seriously, what could consulting your mom get you in this situation other than a quick trip the loony bin? Would any of your mothers aprove of you doing this?

 

The beauty of this, is that you did get to at least feel the rejection that the vast majority of relationships end with. So look at it in a way you kind of had a relationship experience. You just saved yourself the trouble of the true emotional attachment of your first that would have been had you fucked her.

 

Do you honestly think that even if she had flown there she would've had sex with him? There was NO chance this was going to go through, it's pretty obvious.

The only way he can get laid is if he lives his life and lets it happen naturally, as toddus and frebis suggested.

 

Speaking of which HW, didn't you say you were in college and living on your own now? How's that going? Are you meeting people and socializing more?

I only ask because I can only imagine how awkward and difficult it would be to meet people. Hopefully you can break down those walls and interact with people and make some real friends. I only say this because, speaking from experience, if you go a semester without putting yourself out there and trying to meet cool people it will become way too easy to get stuck in a rut and stop trying. The longer you go, the more difficult it will become. Hopefully things are going good though.

Sorry to hear about this falling through, but it'll happen eventually. Unless, of course, you find yourself precariously positioned on an inclined sidewalk at 9:47 and plummet to an intersection with a bus route that's always on time. Either way, I still like you. In a hetero way of course.

 

Yeah, I'm living in the dorms now. My building isn't very social, but I try to keep my door open. I've also joined a couple of clubs and try to get out as much as possible. But communication is a huge barrier. It's so hard for me to talk and for people to understand me that having a conversation is extremely hard. That's really the biggest issue right now.

 

Just tell women you escaped from a lab somewhere on campus and are actually an ongoing experiment to clone Stephen Hawking.

 

oops

 

Cue to 1:10.