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Gaydars and other stupid human tricks

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by YCOSeth, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. YCOSeth

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    Study Finds Women's Gaydar Improves During Ovulation

    I find the amount of subconscious detective work humans can do from unnoticeable things like pheromones and apparently egg-dropping to be fascinating. Of course, this is an excellent tool to keep women from wasting their time on a potential mate, and certainly from them getting knocked up by a gay men, with whom their hellborn offspring can only be born in a cesspool of sin and debauchery, or like Gremlins 2, not sure. I'm not sure how gay people reproduce. Anyways...

    FOCUS: What other biological tricks can humans perform? Do you believe in twins having ESP? Jedi Mind Tricks? Getting a boner BEFORE you see a naked lady?

    ALT-FOCUS: How's your gaydar? Any good stories of thinking you were going to land a fine lady for the evening, only to find out she's an obvious lesbian? TiBettes, I'm sure you've had a few near-misses with the gays, and I'm quite certain at least one of you have turned them to the dark side. Do tell.
     
  2. Blue Dog

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    I don't know where everyone else is today, and Fry is on vacation, and I just got a free second, so... Bump
     
  3. Dmix3

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    One of my best friends has a particularly odd quirk, one that is 100% real and 100% unusual to say the least. He can, with 100% accuracy, sniff a woman and tell if she's on her period or not. I kid you not, all he has to do is sniff the back of a woman's neck and he can somehow pick up on some pheromone or something that tells him when a woman is ovulating. I've watched him do it hundreds of times and the first time he told me I didn't believe it and even asked some female friends to try and fool him but it can't be done.
     
  4. Angel_1756

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    I can imagine the first few times he did this before learning of his superpower. "Jesus, what is that smell? Smells like it's coming from... Christ, it's YOU. WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE THAT?"

    Three times so far, I've dreamt about bad things happening to people within 24-hours before they happened - two car accidents and one miscarriage. Likely coincidence, but if it's a skill, it's hardly one I want to foster.

    Being half Chinese, my only other skill is being able to skin a cat and get it into a wok in three minutes flat. But that's not really a "biological trick", per se...
     
  5. bewildered

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    Just an FYI, he may be able to tell whether they are bleeding, but that is not ovulating. Ovulation happens a week or more after the period ends.

    My stupid human trick is that I can tell when I am ovulating. Cool trick, right?
     
  6. lostalldoubt86

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    This isn't any sort of supernatural thing, but I have an almost infinite knowledge of TV and movie actors. I am always able to answer the questions "Who was that guy/girl in..." and "What movie was ... in." I don't know why I remember something so useless.
     
  7. Nom Chompsky

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    Why are you friends with a bear?
     
  8. Frank

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    Would you fuck with a guy hanging out with a bear?
     
  9. Rush-O-Matic

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    Depends. Is he in NettDaddy's yard?
     
  10. Crown Royal

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    I can see weed through a host's solid cupboard doors and the diversion margarine containers it's kept in.
     
  11. pterodactyl

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    Me and my buddies used to go to BW's to watch the UFC fights all the time and after a couple times of having the same waitress she started hooking us up with drinks and would save us tables before it got packed. She was pretty cute and one time when we were leaving I was like, we should hang out, and got her number.

    So after talking on and off for a week or so, one day at work I sent her a text and asked her what she was doing that night.

    Me: What are you doin tonight
    Her: Hanging out with my girlfriend.
    Me: Wait....girlfriend....or girlfriend girlfriend
    Her: girlfriend girlfriend

    In retrospect I should have seen it coming but she hid it pretty well.
     
  12. scootah

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    I have pretty good gaydar. Between growing up with a gay parent, spending a lot of time living/working in primarily gay neighbourhoods and clubbing in gay clubs even before I started dating guys - I always had awesome gaydar.

    But the worst gaydar I ever saw was from my coworkers at a previous job. I had heard the name of this girl a few times and how she was hot, and seen her name come up on emails, but didn't meet her for a few months due to shifts and work locations. Had a few emails that were professional, but clear she had a pretty good sense of humour and was a ten percenter.

    First time I met her, she was a short, cute blonde, who had a blonde buzz cut, was wearing a white wife beater and blue skater jeans (it was a very casual office), and had pride tattoo's on both arms and aross her chest and shoulders. The pride tattoo's weren't rainbows - but they were pretty fucking obvious including the girl/girl symbol. I immediately started bullshitting with her and telling lesbian jokes and we got on really well.

    Later that day, five of the guys who had known her for like 3 months at this point and seen her wearing pretty much the same incredibly obviously 'out' outfit for the vast majority of that had had no idea that she was a lesbian and still had no idea how I had figured it out. I knew these guys were geeks, but we were working right in the heart of the primary 'gay' district in the city and short of wrapping herlself in a rainbow flag or going down on a girl in front of them - she couldn't have been much more out. I later found out that they had met her (equally out) girlfriend at a few after work drinks nights, and had just assumed that they were friends.

    Unbelievable.
     
  13. Nom Chompsky

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  14. zyron

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    I used to have terrible gaydar until I worked for ten years at different antique stores. It is amazing how many gay people I dealt with everyday. The worst time had to be when I was hit on by a 65 year old gay guy, especially when he rubbed my shoulder and called me sweetie.

    We hired a young black guy once and even though I told him that a lot the guys are going to be gay, the first week he was there he told an awful gay joke right in front of me to a gay guy who rented space at the store(I didn't know what the punchline otherwise I would have stopped him). He felt pretty dumb when a second after the guy left I told him that fact. Luckily for him he told it to the nicest person I have ever met so he laughed and didn't make an issue.
     
  15. ghettoastronaut

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    I have a neat biological trick where I am unable to censor myself from correcting other people's misconceptions. By which I mean to say, ovulation occurs before bleeding.

    Actually something that's super neat is how women's periods will sync up when they live together. I mean, isn't that just insane, when you think about it?

    The other really neat thing is the placebo effect.



    He's not kidding. That result is in-fucking-sane. Even the simple, molecular mechanics of drug absorption are apparently susceptible to the placebo effect.
     
    #15 ghettoastronaut, Jun 27, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. Harry Coolahan

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    Let me preface this by saying that I don't believe in clairvoyance or any type of spiritual stuff.

    My skill is: Throughout my early teens, I used to have dreams on a regular basis (2-3 times a month) that would become true a few months later.

    I was heavily into lucid dreaming at the time and my dream recall was developed enough that I could remember dreams from multiple REM cycles through the night, usually 3-4 per night. I kept a dream log for several years so I had verified proof of this phenomenon (unfortunately, I kept my dream log on Wordpress and a few years ago the server hosting it was erased or something, no more access to those entries).

    These precogs (apparently a well-known occurrence in the lucid dreaming community) ranged from a few seconds to several minutes. The weirdest ones were movie scenes, because they never had any context and never made sense until I was watching that exact scene (two examples are 50 First Dates with Adam Sandler, and District 9 with all the aliens). Over the years this happened at least a hundred times.

    The craziest example was one night when I dreamt that I was in class and another student was making a presentation—that same morning in school the exact presentation was given, word for word, and I could even anticipate full sentences down to the word long before he said them. At first I thought he had given the presentation the day before and he was pranking the teacher and I was confused for several minutes.

    Another pretty crazy thing about all this is apparently my mom has experienced the same thing. A few years ago I was involved in a car accident that totaled her car. She was backpacking in the woods at the time and had no contact with outside society—but the night of that event she had a dream about the accident, so she hiked into town to call me and make sure I was okay, even asking about how her car was doing (no prompting on my part). When she got back from the trip, she told me that this would often happen to her when she went backpacking and was secluded from society.

    I have no explanation for any of this, like I said I don't believe in any of the mystical bullshit answers espoused to explain it, and I can't chalk it up to confirmation bias/selection bias/deja vu because I have documented proof of it and it's happened way too many times to chalk up to coincidence. I haven't done lucid dreaming in years, so this kind of stuff doesn't really happen to me anymore.

    TL;DR I'm a goddamn psychic.
     
  17. audreymonroe

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    I grew up in a town full of gays that was put on the map when our mayor honored a bunch of gay marriages illegally, went to a school full of gays that the Duck Tour guides would call "The Fruit Basket" while driving past, live in a borough full of gays and know very few people (male or female) who have not had at least one experimental night. My problem is now I basically assume that everyone is at least a little gay. A man has to be flaunting some serious masculinity for me to not question if he's gay upon first meeting him, and even then I usually wonder if maybe he's just a bear.

    I'm exaggerating a little bit, but not much.

    As for other stupid human tricks, I have a lot of New Age-y spiritual beliefs that I tend to keep quiet. Most of it breaks down to being really sensitive to energies. I think it's the realistic version of what people refer to as a sixth sense, but not in the Hollywood way where I think I can see or hear dead people. It's more in the way of being really good at reading people and creating a really strong connection with them ("ESP") and getting a sense of the spirit of a place, and all that it implies. I've been thinking of moonlighting as a fortune teller, not because I think I can predict the future, but I think the people who do it are like me in that they can pick up on what a person is saying without speaking, and I think I would be able to tell them what they want to hear. (Plus, I keep being told that I look like a gypsy.) That being said, I too have had those dreams that have predicted the future, and I can just get these feelings sometimes where I know something is wrong and it often turns out to be true. I also believe in past lives, and the idea of old and new souls, and I think I'm good at being able to tell who's an old and new soul. And I definitely believe in signs and intuition. Although all of these mystical powers aren't helping to know whether or not I'm even on topic anymore, so I'll just trail off now.
     
  18. $100T2

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    I wake up every morning with a hard cock, and my wife sleeps in the nude, so....

    Anyway, since humans use something like 5% of the brain, and there is some sort of insane/ridiculous research that says humans 10,000 years ago had ESP, I'll go on the record as saying, "Fuck if I know."

    There was a time once (that I've never fucking duplicated, goddammit) that I went to Foxwoods Casino and (at $5 a pop) called five numbers right in a row on the roulette wheel. I made a shitload of money that night. The problem with sixth senses or whatever is that since people think it's such a crock of horseshit, you don't know when you're right and when you're just wishing. Feel me, dawg?
     
  19. Crown Royal

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    It scares the piss out of me. It's as if they're all commanded by some central, super-powered hive mind.

    ...named VAGINOR!!! And her deep, horrifying voice will bellow through the cosmos:

    "BAH HA HA HA HA!!!! I NOW COMMAND YOU, MY MINIONS!!! BLEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!! BAH HA HA HA!!!!!"

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Harry Coolahan

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    At the risk of getting off-topic, my girlfriend lived with girls for the last four years (throughout college). A couple months ago she moved in with me, in a townhouse with 3 guys and no other girls. Her menstrual cycle the first month was fucking haywire, and I though this was the most amazing and creepiest thing to witness.