I was hoping the movie where Mila Kunis fucks Natalie Portman would be out by Valentine's Day so I could make hateful self-love in an empty movie theater and then cry. It's not. I don't really have a Plan B.
The night before valentines day, I'll be Dungeon Monitoring at a fetish club that's doing a pirate theme for the birthday of one of the regulars. That will run until about 5 in the morning. After that, my wife and I will probably crash at a friends place or something and then spend the better part of the day at the beach being soppy. We're already booked in for a Steak and Blowjob day party that should be a shitload of fun.
I don't know the exact history of Valentine's Day, but if its origin is anything like that of the engagement ring then it is a fucking scam. Exhibit A: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/198202/diamond" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/198202/diamond</a>
Say what you want about the commercial spectacle that is valentines day, but it is a spectacular day to go out to the bars. You've got two types of people - the couples where the guy just blew $100 on dinner/chocolate/diamonds/unicorns and the girl is wrapped up in arms, and the girls that hate the holiday and are out blowing steam. Blowing steam in the very vulnerable, come and agree with me, drink with me, and see what happens kind of way. There could be a few others mixed in - those who had terrible dates and are out to blow steam, or couples that didn't find the perfect unicorn and are out to see what other options there are. I could be biased because I met my girlfriend on valentines day talking about how much we hate it. It's funny now because we have a reason to celebrate it, but we agree to celebrate it the day after or the other most convenient day. Half full I'm telling you, half full.
And if any of you guys are looking to stick it to the man or save a few bucks, why not just pull a Larry David and swing by your local cemetery or car wreck memorial instead of those overpriced flower shops. Though it might be a little more work removing all those "I love you grandpa" cards.
Not only does Valentines day suck in the regular way for me, it's also my fucking birthday. I've never gotten laid on my birthday, which is Valentines Day. I've been dumped, TWICE, on my birthday, WHICH IS VALENTINES DAY. Cold hearted bitches. Everyone always has plans to hang with their significant others, so I've rarely even had people to hang out with on my birthday. In 05, while on deployment, I broke my ankle boarding a suspected drug runner by getting it caught between boats, bad enough that I almost lost my foot, on my fucking birthday. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't care much for it. Not because it's commercial, or meaningless, or anything like that. Oh no, my reason is a tad more bitter I would like to think. I've worked every Valentine's Day for the last 11 years. I bust my ass on this "wonderful" day to help give those who want to celebrate it a nice meal should they choose to come to my restaurant. It would feel great if the restaurants I've worked for weren't such penny-pinching, money-grubbing shit-holes. Nothing feels better than knowing that the good folks you're trying to serve are almost getting shoved out the door the moment the last bite of food drops into their mouths because the place is way overbooked and the owner wants to suck every last dime he can from this oh-so glorious day. I'm all for making money, but this shit really has to stop...or I need to find a worthwhile restaurant to work for. One of the two. For those of you who want to celebrate it by taking your sweetheart out for a nice candlelit dinner, do so on the 15th, or the 16th, or book a table in March. You'll get better food, service, and probably a better price*. Oh yes, and there won't be extra tables all over the fucking place so you might have a little extra elbow room, and enough of a buffer to have a conversation with your date without everyone else hearing it all. In short, fuck Valentine's Day. However, I'd like to give thanks for having a kickass girlfriend who understands that my profession doesn't lend itself willingly to getting these days off, and who gives blowjobs not only on special occasions, but also many, many times throughout the year, each and every year thus far. It just goes to show that you don't need a holiday to enjoy yourselves, and you can do it anytime of the year. *The exception being Denny's, which should get you a roundhouse kick to the noggin instead of a blowjob should you decide to take your date there and you're not over 50. Fuck Denny's too.
I'm single, so I'm indifferent right now. Honestly, if I were dating someone right now I think I'd welcome the chance to be creative and get her a thoughtful gift. Then again, the last time I did that the girl thanked me for the thoughtful gift and dumped me a week later so maybe I should rethink this.
I've found that 99% of a successful Valentine's Day was doing something that would impress the "better" half's friends or co-workers. When my ex was working, I made sure to send something to the shop, nice and early, that she would be able to show off to all of her friends and customers. Things like 3 separate deliveries of a dozen long-stem red roses, each with a one-word card. First had "I", then "LOVE", then "YOU". At that point, all of her friends wished they were her, and that their men were that romantic. After all, women are VERY competitive. She felt like the Queen, and THAT is how YOU win. (If she's not happy, you're not happy) Yes, I was "that guy" that all the other guys hated.
Valentine's Day is just another day as far as I am concerned. I feel that way about most holidays. Three years ago, my ex was lovely enough to introduce me to his wife (which I didn't know he had) on Valentine's Day. For that, I will always remember February 14, 2007. Other than that, I am not the type of woman who gets all pissy about flowers, cards, and BS like that.
I don't think I've ever been in a relationship during Valentine's Day, but also it has never really bothered me as a holiday. Sure, people SHOULD be nice to their other half all year round, but that's not always going to happen. I feel like Valentine's is to a relationship what Christmas is to families, it's a little forced but it's a good reminder that you still like each other. That said, I was casually seeing a guy one year during Valentine's. Because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, I refused adamantly to see him on Valentine's, which crushed this poor guy who just wanted to be sentimental and buy me a present. I showed up at his place 12:01am on Feb. 15th for sex. Ah, emotional issues, you are my only friends... Although we did celebrate steak and BJ day that year with gusto, so I suppose he won in the end anyway.
The people who make a point of how miserable Valentine's Day is are usually the type who are miserable to be around every other day of the year, too.
Quick question: I'm not dating anyone, but I am fucking my friend with benefits. Is it out of line to get him a card? Nothing sappy, It says " Thanks for the extra effort during Oral." I usually get everyone cards like that this time of year. So I didn't want to leave him out, but also don't want to cross any lines..... Thoughts? As for my own feeling on VD. I think its a good excuse to show people you care, but not just the person you're fucking. I get all my close friends a card at least. If I'm willing to tell you I love you, be it in a relationship, or as a friend, you're getting something from me on VD.
This had to be intentional. Just had to. As for getting the FWB a card, you know him way better than any of us. If he'd laugh and not misinterpret it somehow, go for it. Personally, I'd laugh my ass off at a card like that as long as I didn't have reason to think there were any underlying romantic feelings going on.
I am not a fan of Valentine's because I'm not a fan of chocolates and pink teddy bears. Really? What the fuck am I supposed to do with a stuffed animal that sings "Wild Thing?" I don't have a place in my decor to feature it, it is clutter. I don't eat many sweets, that big box of cheap chocolate is getting tossed or donated to someone else. However, a small gesture is appreciated, the more original (personal) the better. In the end, random acts of sentiment are far more appreciated. Roses, wine, any small gift for no reason? You're getting lucky for sure.
I'm neutral on the whole Valentine's thing. Yeah, it's a made up bullshit holiday. Yeah, you're supposed to buy stupid shit for your significant other, but on the other hand, it may not be a bad idea to remember your significant other for one day. Frankly, it's the other 364 days a year I have trouble remembering my wife. Now if I could get those down, I'd be on easy street.
Fixed that for you. If you want to really impress her, and put the "rocket" back in "crotch rocket", all you have to do is strap an M-80 to the end of your love-launcher, light the fuse, and go to town. She'll love the increased girth and intensity and once that baby's fuse hits powder she'll practically glow with pleasure as she lights up like some sort of firey christmas tree of sexual ecstasy, and her cozy sex nook turns into an enraged fire-queefing dragon that burns tiny villagers, unexpecting dicks, and the carpet, ceiling, and walls. Also there might be some sort of internal smoke damage, so this should not be attempted by pregnant women or their babies might be born addicted to cigarettes and with lung cancer. Also this should not be attempted by fat people, because fuck fat people. I may be slightly drunk. Focus: Being single means the only point I see in Valentines day is all the 70% off chocolate in the grocery stores on the 14th.