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Fuck that the sex is too good to soil it with a relationship

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nettdata, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    If you answered this, and are legit, PM me. Not only do I have a stag I want you to work at, I also think it'd make a great "Ask A ___" thread. We haven't done one of those in quite a while. What better way to bring it back with a bang?
     
  2. JWags

    JWags
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    1) Male
    2) Yes
    3) Yes
    4) Attractive; at least one alluring physical quality; can hold a conversation for awhile; some semblance of sanity that won't make me immediately regret it; a vagina
    5) Attractive; can make me laugh consistently; intelligent and conversational; kind of quirky or eccentric in some way/ways; overall appealing body

    I guess I will explain a few points. In terms of the "physical quality" for a one-night stand, its that mentality where you meet a girl in a bar/club/etc and that flat stomach/great ass/conversational rack just becomes a focus. Thats not enough to make me even care tomorrow, but for tonite, damn that ass has a gravitational pull. And I guess I'm unique, but I can't even bring myself to hook up with airheads. Ive tried, but I run out of gas before I lock it up.

    For girls I'm dating, I have an annoying habit of getting bored in a relationship. Its a pretty solid barometer of if I rushed into the relationship. So girls that can make me laugh or have a quirky personality get their claws into me a bit more. A girl I dated recently was a pop culture reference machine and had one of the most clever and off the wall funny Twitter feeds I'd ever read. It sounds cheesy, but that went a long ways in my attraction. And finally, I'm a guy, I have superficiality hard wired. I need to be attracted to you, and when we're in our 20s like I am now, I want to be excited everytime I see your body.
     
  3. AlmostGaunt

    AlmostGaunt
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    For casual sex - moderately attractive and not Dahmer-level crazy? Game on. For every potentially negative characteristic, e.g. trouble forming coherent sentences, doesn't believe in reading, only listens to Christina and Ke$ha, etc, there is an equal and opposite number of bourbons I can use to address the issue. I cast a pretty wide net when I'm trawling for NSA sex, and I don't even have to like them, let alone love them. (Side note: sex with people you don't actually like can be remarkably liberating.)

    For girlfriends, I don't feel like I'm especially picky, but I probably am. Intelligence comes first, then vicious sense of humour, fun to hang out with, and physical characteristics. I am continually astonished at how hard it is to find someone that possesses these characteristics. It's not even that I find them but they don't like me, which would be fine - I am just not meeting these women, by and large.
     
  4. scootah

    scootah
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    New mod

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    1. Your gender: Male
    2. Have you ever had sex? Yes
    3. Have you ever been in love? Yes
    4. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would consider having sex with her or him: Physical chemistry, Something to talk about, Mutually viable kinks, A legal adult, heartbeat
    5. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would be able to fall in love with him or her: Physical chemistry, Something to talk about, mutually viable kinks, twisted sense of humour, extreme patience

    Physical chemistry for me is different to being attractive. I know insanely hot girls who just don't push my buttons on a physical level. I know some girls who are physically mediocre but are still hot. The physical chemistry thing is weird for me like that. There's something about the combination of some physical baselines (not fugly) and pheromones or body language or something.

    Something to talk about is somehting like an interesting personality. I don't really care what it is, but someone has to have an interest, or a passion, or an opinion, or something worth talking about before I can spend enough time in their company to enjoy fucking them, much less fall in love. I can't deal with boring people.

    Mutually viable kinks doesn't mean that they have to match mine or anything - but they need to at least be able to cope with my kinks, and their kinks need to be something I can cope with. I mean a monogamous person isn't going to be able to put up with my shit. And there are lines that I'm just not interested in crossing... or coming into physical contact with someone who's recently crossed them.

    The right to legally view pornography is a polite way of saying they have to be 18 where I currently live. If I was somewhere else, that number might change - but I have basically no interests or hobbies that don't require an ID check on entry. If someone was legal to fuck but not old enough for drinking or clubbing or something, I can't see myself fucking them. I generally want to do something else with the people I fuck as well, at least hang out a little.

    Heartbeat was just me reaching - fundamentally, I'm pretty flexible in terms of characteristics. It's more about some kind of individual interaction thing than any particular shopping list of must haves.

    For falling in love, my sense of humour is fucked, so anyone I fall in love with needs to be kind of fucked up themselves, or it's not going to work. And I'm so fucking disorganized that anyone who doesn't have epic amounts of patience will never work out in any kind of love dynamic. Requiring those things is just a basic self preservation instinct.
     
  5. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    This seems like a nitpick but it actually makes a difference: trans isn't a gender so the survey was kinda off to include it as such. It would basically be like saying “describe your background: American/Canadian/black.”
     
  6. Frank

    Frank
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    - Male
    - Yes
    - Yes
    - STD free, that's pretty much it, history has proven 'attractive' and 'sane' are desired but aren't necessary traits for me for one night stands, no matter how much I like to think they are.
    - STD free, attractive, sane, have sense of humor, high sex drive*

    *Didn't realize how much a high sex drive mattered until my last relationship when we only did it once a week, it's amazing how easily irritable you get about minute things when you try and fail at having sex with someone you're in a relationship with 6 out of 7 times.
     
  7. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Welcome to marriage.

    Male
    Yes
    Yes
    ONS: reasonably attractive, not super crazy. That's it.
    LTR: reasonably attractive, not super crazy, smart, funny, high sex drive.

    I once read somewhere that "Nothing fucks like the crazy and nothing fights like the retarded" so two of my requirements under LTR may well be diametrically opposed.
     
  8. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    I don't see that the survey asked for the qualities you look for in a one night stand.

    Looks more like they're asking for the qualities you're looking for in order to have sex with someone after the third date, rather than after the third song at the club.

    The other explanation for the findings is that they should have asked people how successful their long-term relationships have been, and compared that to the similarity of their responses.
     
  9. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    1. Your gender: Male / Female / Trans
    2. Have you ever had sex? Yes / No
    3. Have you ever been in love? Yes / No
    4. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would consider having sex with him: Witty, bordering on mouthy; funny; nice hands; smell good; sadly, I prefer men who are already in a relationship or are not willing to become committed. Almost all my sexual relationships fall into this category.
    5. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would be able to fall in love with him. Jesus, I don't know. Driven and goal-oriented, career-wise; smell good; nice hands; calm; have that instantaneous spark where you think, "Yeah, this could be it."

    This topic is interesting to me; I've discussed it in some previous posts, but I'm trying to overcome my habit of keeping sex and intimacy rigidly separated. It's not easy. My brain is almost hardwired to be drawn to unavailable men. Conversely, when someone I consider a friend (i.e. someone that I care for) starts hinting that the relationship could turn sexual, I withdrawn and fast. It's almost a panicked feeling - it makes me intensely uncomfortable and it will actually keep me awake at night worrying about how I can avoid letting the person down.

    I have no idea why I'm like this. My parents divorced, but not until I was an adult. I wasn't raped or beaten as a child. If this is a result of some deep trauma I haven't a clue what happened or when.

    Some days I'm almost okay with it. Most days it makes me sad that I seem to be incapable of the simplest thing on the Earth that everyone else does with ease. When I was younger it worked great; easy sex with no commitments. Now it just feels empty.
     
  10. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    1. Your gender: Male / Female / Trans
    2. Have you ever had sex? Yes / No
    3. Have you ever been in love? Yes / No... Unsure
    4. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would consider having sex with her or him: physical attraction, STI free, attracted to me physically, not a virgin, willingness to get me off, personal hygiene
    5. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would be able to fall in love with him or her: treats wait staff and others in the service industry like human being, physical attraction, job stability, mutual interests, behaves as if cheating on me is not an option.
     
  11. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    1) Male

    2) Yes

    3) Yes

    4) Medium to skinny build, white or hispanic (not racist, just that's what I'm attracted to), funny/interesting, 20's-lower 30s, STD-free

    5) makes me a better person, family-oriented or accepting that I am, personality that meshes with mine, intelligent, attractive

    With the exception of my last qualification, which is somewhat of a catch-all (though I intended it to be very broad and not as specific as #4, so I think it counts), I really don't see much overlap. If I'm falling in love with someone, sex is just a part of that. If I'm just having sex with someone, love is a very small part of that (and it'd make it easier if it was no part of that, actually).
     
  12. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    1. Male
    2. Yes
    3. No (I'm not counting teenaged "love")
    4. Trust, chemistry, attraction, STI free.
    5. Trust, friendship, respect, chemistry, attraction.

    I've never been in a relationship before or in love as an adult, so the fifth question's answers are mostly speculation. On another board I wrote this about my lack of love and partners:

    So, I've done a lot of self-reflection and determined that my obstacles are due to the fact that I'm looking for contridictory qualities in a potential mate and relationship. I'm attracted to crazy, certain harmless displays of crazy turn me on, but I don't have any patience for the drama that crazy brings to a relationship. So there's a big hurdle there. Second, when I actually think about what I want in a relationship right now, I really just want a fuck budddy or FWB type situation, but the problem with that is that psychologically I'm not wired for casual sex; I want to be very emotionally intimate with my partner.

    So, basically I need to find a woman who's as independent as I am that's at least a little crazy but not psycho with whom I have a ton of chemistry that I can have a passionate sexual relationship and strong emotional attactment but otherwise have separate lives.

    This is why I'm going to be single forever.


    I haven't figured out the crazy part, but the relationship part is directly as a result of my parents' marriage. My parents foolishly got married because my mom got knocked up and they wanted to do the right thing by me. We all know how these things go. My parents were in love and had a lot of chemistry and friendship, but they couldn't live together without eventually being at each others' throats. They separated several times before finally getting a divorce when I was 14. So due to that poor example of a relationship I'm inclined to be very wary of them.
     
  13. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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  14. hooker

    hooker
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    Five characteristics a partner must have before I bang him:

    1) The ability to disconnect sex and love.
    2) The ability to fuck me properly.
    3) The ability to know when to leave after he's done fucking me.
    4) The time and energy to fuck me often.
    5) Charming good looks.

    Five characteristics a partner must have before I love him:

    1) A sense of humour.
    2) The potential to be a good father one day.
    3) The motivation to succeed in his working life (regardless of what it is he does).
    4) Intelligence.
    5) Charming good looks.
     
  15. sartirious

    sartirious
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    Disturbed

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    * The opposite of love isn't hate; it's apathy. I don't really care what she's passionate about, as long as there is something driving her actions other than "...sure, I guess so."

    **I had a workplace crush on a former coworker, and it shriveled up into nothing once I found out we had completely different political views. She's an absolute stunner - but the thought of her just doesn't get it up for me after that.
     
  16. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Female.
    Yes.
    Yes.
    Tall. Broad. Strong. Clean. Good hands.
    " " + observant, honest, patient, fair, genuine, athletic, competitive, funny, clever, intelligent, vocal, attentive, able to take charge without being a total cockmuncher, realistic...There are more but the characteristics blend together so much it's hard to articulate.
     
  17. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    1. Gender: Female

    2. Yes

    3. Yes

    4. Intelligent, Attractive, Attentive, Honest, Confident

    5. Honest, Intelligent, Confident, Genuine, Compatible

    The only time I have ever fallen in love with someone was when I did NOT have sex with him before falling hard for him. I have never had a sexual relationship ever evolve into any type of "love" for me, despite numerous attempts to make sexual chemistry equal more.
     
  18. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
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    1. Your gender: Male
    2. Have you ever had sex? Yes
    3. Have you ever been in love? No
    4. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would consider having sex with her or him:
    • A nice pair of titties: I once fucked a girl that had missing nipples due to a breast reduction surgery that went sour. In her defense, they looked fantastic until she took her bra off. I fucked her once and it was doggy style.
    • An ability to laugh at my jokes: This makes me feel more attracted to you and will guarantee that I'll at least try to get you off.
    • Not retarded: So I don't feel like I'm a rapist.
    • Not crazy (at least on the surface). Speaks for itself.
    • Not a bitch: As soon as I see a girl acting bitchy, you couldn't get my dick hard with liquid nitrogen.

    5. List at least five characteristics a partner must have before you would be able to fall in love with him or her.
    • A nice pair of titties: See above. If I'm going to be with someone, there needs to be physical attraction. I'm attracted to titties.
    • A sense of humor: She's got to make me laugh, in addition to laughing with/at me.
    • Smarter or as smart as me: I'm going to want to have a thought provoking conversation from time to time. I would also appreciate it if she didn't use her brains for evil.
    • Avoids drama: I hate drama queens more than I hate stupid people. At least stupid people you can ignore for the most part. Drama queens are selfish and demand to the center of attention all the time.
    • A geek of some kind: I would really like it if we share some kind of interests. A slant toward the geeky/nerdy would be awesome.
     
  19. Roxanne

    Roxanne
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    I'm a girl. I've had sex. I've been in love.

    The only qualities I've ever asked for in a sexual partner or romantic partner was 'be interesting' and 'don't be needy.'

    It covers pretty much all my bases. I've never put good looks on the list because I'm attracted to pretty much anything if it's interesting.
     
  20. lust4life

    lust4life
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    They're referring to transgender, not transexual. There's a difference.

    1. Male
    2. Yes
    3. Yes
    4. a)Female, b)adult, c)STD-free, d)willing, e)mute
    5. Cooks and cleans, plus a, c, e from #4.