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Friday the 13th Drunk Thread NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by The Village Idiot, Mar 13, 2015.

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  1. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I totally hear you. Unfortunately, I'm the same way. I can completely suspend disbelief for things like Star Wars and Back to the Future.

    But people simultaneously breaking into song? Can't do it. Seriously, I love music, I love movies, but I just can't stand musicals. It just fundamentally offends my understanding of the space time continuum in such a way that they're unwatchable to me.
     
  2. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    I can tell by the trail it isn't good storytelling. It's bad.

    I'm not caring about plausibility. I'm caring about shitting all over a classic formula that works. That doesn't mean anybody has to care, but if you grew up liking Indiana Jones movies (Temple of Doom doesn't count) and they made a sequel where he teams up with the Nazis to fight time-travelling robots, would you like it?

    Edit: okay, maybe a few people might still find that cool, but most would rather watch Indy throw wood into a nazi's spokes rather than join forces. Just look at the Tim Burton Batmans and then put them next to the Schumacher Batmans. They're all comic book movies based around the same story, but the first two were moody, artistic and well-done and Schumacher's films were ridiculous, candy coloured uber-faggotry scraped off the bottom of boots.
     
  3. CanisDirus

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    You should have seen the trench-warfare resulting from the first couple of "JP4" announcements on certain forums and websites. People on one end were praising it like it was the second coming of Christ, other grew enraged at the prospect of having to see "raptors being basically attack Dobermans" and people even more hilariously kept bitching about how the dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals looked "wrong". Yes, yes I know Velociraptor isn't that big, and that it had feathers. But then I sort of glance at JP2 and JP3 and I go, "Hopefully Jurassic World is better than Jurassic Park 3."
     
  4. CanisDirus

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    [​IMG]

    Also, never forget that Jurassic Park 3 gave the role of main monster to what was essentially in behavior an enormous otter-heron-duck-alligator from Africa.
     
  5. Crown Royal

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    I think Jurassic Park perhaps should not have had any sequels. This was the movie that TRULY showed us what CGI could do, and 22 years later the effects are still virtually flawless. Every time they made a sequel it seemed to taint the brand, although personally I thought the third one was better than the second. It just lacked a character as awesome as Ian Malcolm.

    And the first one had Badass Outback Hunter and Hold on to your butts.. You can't top that.
     
  6. Crown Royal

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    The Spinosaurus was a legit Hunter-killer dinosaur, the largest and most powerful known predator ever to roam the earth. Albeit much like Newfies, it preferred to eat fish. The issue is it didn't look badass like a T-Rex or Allosaur. It looked like Chris Robinson from The Black Crowes.
     
  7. Rush-O-Matic

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    Shake Your Money Maker

    Before or after he married Kate Hudson?
     
  8. Crown Royal

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    Why, did he somehow get more or less ugly? I only paid attention to him with my ears and the kick-ass Rock and Roll he/they put out.
     
  9. CharlesJohnson

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    Crown, they just released a new still from Jurassic World:

    [​IMG]

    Because that's where the franchise is headed: people making friends with good guy dinosaurs and riding them into battles to fight bad guy dinosaurs. It will make 6 billion dollars and win 5 Oscars. Liam Neeson will win the final fight by uppercutting a T-rex.

    It looks like a pile of shit. Completely unnecessary sequel. Just like the third one. Kids can run away from big bird-lizards only so much before that magic is lost. For me, that magic of the first movie was gone for good when that peckerwood nerd flew under a pterodactyl.

    Once again the only movie I'm interested in so far is the Bond flick, Spectre. Funny enough, the 25th sequel to a 50 year old franchise.
     
  10. Crown Royal

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    I am thirsting for Bond. Mendes directing again, Chris Waltz as the bad guy, Drax the Destroyer as the henchman. Shot in AUSTRIA. I can't imagine how beautiful it's going to be.

    Surely it will be better than Ken Hamm's Jurassic Park.
     
  11. Kubla Kahn

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    Yeah taking a decent concept and executing a fun ass movie around it seems so simple yet they fuck it up every time.


    Same thing is happening with The Terminator. I have no hope for Gynesyz or what ever the fuck.
     
  12. Crown Royal

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    I had hope for Terminator 5, yet Jason Clarke was the only good casting and they turned the original two classics into a fucking Shaggy Dog Joke. Right there, in the trailer! You cast the most frail-looking actress as Sarah Connor, what the fuck were they thinking?
     
  13. CharlesJohnson

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    That looks so bad. "We made a movie entirely around catch phrases, then shoe-horned an aging robot protagonist because fuck you, you'll pay to see it." I'm taking a peek at the summer schedule. Sequel, remakes, and reboots. Mission Impossible 5.

    They're rebooting the fucking Transporter and... POLTERGEIST? Christ just re-release the original.

    I can't wait for them to remake The Godfather with Channing Tatum as Don Corleone and Jonah Hill as Fredo. Actually, fuck it, I'd pay to see that.
     
  14. Kubla Kahn

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    I think it is HI-Larious that people had a melt down about the all Femme Ghostbuster reboot ruining their childhood dreams or some shit. With nary a peep when less than a month later the film studios announce a second all male reboot starring Channing Tatum. The reaction to the whole all female thing was stupid in the internet misogynist sort of way. I wasn't thrilled at the cash grab all female Ghostbuster's announcement because the studios said fuck Dan Aykroyd's vision of the series we can make some money here! Then they go the extra step further and announce yet another reboot which seems to be in the similar vain of recent reboots, namely starring Channing Tatum. At least an all female team of ghostbusters is a novel fucking idea....
     
  15. Juice

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    Speaking of remakes, they cast the guy that plays Richard Harrow in Boardwalk as the Crow.

    The original is fantastic, and I dont know if he can top Brandon Lee, but the original was pretty ahead of its time as far as R-rated superhero movies.
     
  16. Crown Royal

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    The original had a lot going for it: good performances, amazing urban hell production design, the ability to stretch a tiny budget and make the film exciting but I think why I loved the film was its crushingly powerful aura of tragic melancholy. The director Alex Proyas really made you feel the pain and loss the main character. It's nowhere NEAR as dark or violent as J. O'Barr's graphic novel (and only superficially faithful) but I think it's just as good, if not better. A fantastic soundtrack and music score also added to its good vibes.
     
  17. Kubla Kahn

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    Ive read the original, like Star Wars, was basically saved in editing when they decided to go with a darker tone for the film. It had originally been much different script wise.
     
  18. CharlesJohnson

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    Jack Huston is a bad ass. His uncle was the sax player on American Horror Story and his grandfather was the immortal drunk asshole, John Huston. Yeah, the guy that did Treasure of The Sierra Madre. Same Guy that almost tanked a big Hollywood production so he could hunt and drink.

    There was this little Hemingway adaptation nobody saw, "Garden of Eden." Jack Huston was the bomb, yo. He played a better young Hemingway than butthole Chris O'Donell.

    Goddammit, they don't make stars like that anymore. Someone work on the Re-Animator serum, we need O'Toole and Harris back. Hell's bar must look fucking FAN-TASTIC.
     
  19. Crown Royal

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    After Lee was killed (unwillingly killed by the actor playing "Fun Boy" during the home invasion scene) they didn't know whether or not to complete the film. It had a dark look but what added to that was its sadness of art imitating life thanks to Lee's death. Basically the actors and filmmakers utilized the tragedy to give it its super-somber mood while completing the film. They also had to spend an additional $8 million using studio magic to put Lee back in the film for the scenes he didn't shoot, much of the time superimposing his face on his stunt double.

    And boy, did it WORK.

    Edit: If you liked The Crow, check out Alex Proyas' next film Dark City which is also an amazing film.
     
  20. Juice

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    Dark City is such a weird movie, its one of those mid-late 90s dark sci-fi movies like Strange Days and 12 Monkeys. Strange Days, if you havent seen it, is really good. They're all clearly influenced by Blade Runner, but definitely worth checking out.
     
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