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Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Jimmy James, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
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    Utah man uses his obituary to confess his sins.

    Focus: Now's the time to own up. Everybody has something they've done that they either want forgiveness for or bragging rights. Let's keep it light.

    Alt Focus: Discuss the article. Clearly he led a pretty amazing life. How do you get banned from Disneyland and Sea World short of calling in a bomb threat or something?
     
  2. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Bump.
     
  3. Dmix3

    Dmix3
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    Whip your dick out to Ariel in front of a tour group?
     
  4. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Focus: You know those mattress tags that say, "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!"?

    Alt. Focus: Better late than never I suppose.
     
  5. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Like you've never seen a blowhole and thought, "what if?"
     
  6. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Somethings are surprisingly easy.

    For instance. Canada banned me. The whole fucking country.
     
  7. lhprop1

    lhprop1
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    I didn't even bother clicking on this thread until I saw either you or Dixie Bandit had posted.

    Please share your experience of the Great White North.
     
  8. Veovis

    Veovis
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    Well if you look at toytoys avatar. Yeah, that snowman was Canada's. He can come back if he returns Pete, but he to this day refuses to return our frozen cultural icon.

    It's why we have thanksgiving early now.
     
  9. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    As I said, it's surprisingly easy.

    I had a DUI 23 years ago. I'm not allowed in Canada without filling out reams of paperwork and waiting 2-3 years for them to decide I'm not a menace to their way of life.

    I found this out while trying to cross the border into Canada. They took everyone in the car's information and informed me they don't like folks of my ilk and I was not allowed in their glorious country.

    We backtracked a few miles and took an old logging road into the country, just because fuck mounties.
     
  10. Hoosiermess

    Hoosiermess
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    Is this a thing? And if so is it felony DUI's only or any DUI?
     
  11. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Things to confess... I'm really gonna have to rack my brain for this one....

    Oh yeah! There was the time I pissed in a drinking fountain at a Catholic Shrine. I was 16, drunk, and it seemed like a good idea at the time because the bathrooms were locked.

    I forced my ex-wife to abort her then-boyfriend's baby because I didn't want that asshole or his demon spawn around Li'l Bandit. My plan worked.

    EDIT: When I was in rehab, I pissed in a guy's mouthwash for blabbing about the chewing tobacco distribution operation I had going on.

    I also pissed in another guy's shampoo because he was a total douche. That still makes me laugh.
     
  12. JWags

    JWags
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    MURDERER!
     
  13. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
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    #1 Internet Boo

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    Hrm...let's see.

    Really bad? I once slept with the wife and daughter of a casual acquaintance. They didn't know about each other. I should look that guy up and send him a gift certificate or something. A couple of times I slept with the daughters of single older women I was seeing. That's not as bad I guess? Although I guess technically the daughters would be in on the secret also (since they knew I was seeing their mom) so I don't know if that counts.

    I was the one who put Icy Hot on all the offensive linemen's jockstraps back in junior year. Those fat bastards made everyone have to do up downs one summer. Oh, at a house party once I was absolutely shitfaced and I ducked in a bedroom and puked in my friend's laundry hamper. He never did figure out who did it.
     
  14. RCGT

    RCGT
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    Let's see here... lots of public urination while drunk. If you own a Lexus, Mercedes, or other luxury car in the West Georgetown neighborhood, I apologize. I blame peer pressure. And being drunk.

    I used to piss in the shower even though my roommate hated it, because 1) he pissed in the sink, and 2) fuck him. I brush my teeth in there, dude. What the fuck.

    To the girl who hasn't talked to me since high school, but randomly Facebook messages me every couple of months to talk about her newest boyfriend and how he's better than me (He's a Harvard-educated attorney! He's a physicist at CERN! He has a six-figure salary! He bought me tickets to Switzerland for spring break!) - I usually show those messages to a friend of mine, and we have a good laugh about it. Sorry about that.
     
  15. lhprop1

    lhprop1
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    Not anymore, Toytoy. Canuckistan loosened their laws earlier this year. They were losing out on too much money from all the hunters and fishermen who were turned away at the border because of DUIs. If you only have one, they now welcome you into their country.
     
  16. dewercs

    dewercs
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    Really, you don't like your car and you want me to make it go away and when it is recovered you want it to be unsalvageable? And you are going to pay me to do it,after I have been hopped up on meth for a few days?
    I believe it is called insurance fraud, but you have not lived until you have unloaded 200 rounds from an AK-47 into a perfectly good car, something very cathartic about walking the bullets from the front bumper all the way up the hood and watching little puffs of seat filler float away with the freon into the morning sky.
     
  17. JWags

    JWags
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    Multiple times!? How does that even work/happen? Once I could see, but multiple times? There are that many daughters out there banging their mom's bfs?
     
  18. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    You sound like a man who has never watched an episode of Maury.
     
  19. Parker

    Parker
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    FreeCorps never said they were hot...or had all their teeth.

    My confession father, I'm confessing being a hypocrite. I slept with a girl my friend had a one night stand with 6 months before. For the longest amount of time I'd preach that it was disgusting hooking up with the same girl one of your friends has. Its like you're hooking up with them. Then I did it. But I became more friends with her than I ever did with him. And had sex with her more than i've had sex with him. I hate hypocrisy and avoid much of it. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
     
  20. Noland

    Noland
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    Note to Self: Keep wife, daughter, and, for good measure, mother away from FreeCorps.