I don't understand the fucking deal with jager. I've delayed trying some until I was at costco and a fifth of it was on sale with four shot glasses for like $10. I felt like an idiot for walking away. Ok, so it doesn't taste like complete shit. But it is a LONG distance away from anything I'd sip on a regular basis. You've gotta be in the mood for syrupy black licorice with an alcoholic burn. Plus it just tastes like killer hangover in the morning. I can't even imagine having the morning pukes after a night with that shit. Anyone want to enlighten me on why fratty douchebags swear by this shit?
What, jager? Fratty douchebags? We're planning a massive new years ski trip and my cousin said that he carries a flask of that shit with him on the mountain. He swore by it, followed by a rather unconvincing "duuuude, you jus gotta try it man!" If I want to stay warm on the mountain, I'd rather not pound something that makes me think of gay bro porn. Give me a flask of nothing less than Makers Mark. You drink your jager while your faggy bro ass is bombing down the ski slopes; I'll stick to my Crown Black.
Fill a half empty 20 oz. can of Red Bull with that shit and you're Iron Man for about three hours. No promises about what happens after that, but it's a good three hours. Just don't get caught dropping the shot into the energy drink like a fucking asshole. You hide your shame like men are supposed to. In other news, 'Gavin & Stacey' is on Netflix Instant Watch. Normally, I don't give two drops of piss for a shit about britcoms, but this one is solid. Check it out.
Jager is not for sipping, its a shot. 53 herbs, tastes like anise. fucking delicious. It was originally a digestif. Ugh, i refuse to figure out how to spell that correctly. Also, it is a form of bitters, and is just all in all a super booze. I'm also babbling because of it.
Because crazy shit happens with jager. It's like trashcan punch. Every night that involves jager is one that turns into a complete clusterfuck of epic proportions. "Hey, how'd we end up in this house? Wait. Whose house is this? Oh well. Who gives a fuck? There's more alcohol and we're going skinnydipping!" kind of night. It's not for sipping; it's for partying and making some questionable decisions.
I was drinking Captain and coke last night - I think I had just the right number, since I avoided the horrendous Rum Dump (the worst of any post-alcohol-drinking shit, bar none) and was feeling pretty good most of the night - unusual for me. Tonight it's Guinness and then Bushmills. I'll be watching No Country For Old Men. I'm again pretty certain I won't get the 300th post - time difference, again.
Because other fratty douchebags swear by that shit. What, you thought that over-priveleged white kids drank natty ice because it tastes good? Jägermeister happened to get lucky that it got paired well with Red Bull just as Red Bull started to soar in popularity.
I have to DJ a wedding tonight is some podunk town called Atwood (hopefully not named after the bitch that wrote The Handmaid's Tale). These things are ALWAYS cash bars and filled with assholes that request country music "so people have a reason to dance". Buy one bullet, and rent a gun.
Being sick sucks. I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to fart. I let it go, there was no release of air feeling, but I somehow still felt relieved... Then my leg started feeling kind of warm... Then I looked down at the BROWN ASS JUICE DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG AND ALL OVER THE FLOOR. WTF? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? Sorry ladies, I'm spoken for.
The worst thing in the world is having a jager hangover when you didn't have any jager the night before.
Well, body paint is fine and all, but you can't lick it off. (Well, you can, but . . .) Icing, on the other hand, is suitable for decorating naked women AND consumption.