So, you wouldn't expect a cat-brawl to take place at a charity horse race for a children's hospital, but it happens. Focus: What are your good fight stories? Where were you when some random, wild-ass brawl broke out? Alt Focus: Sun dresses. Underwear? No underwear? Is there a protocol?
I don't know if this thread will have legs, but the Outkick The Coverage page and commentary is awesome. You guys must have better monitors than I do, though, because boot/sundress girl looks like she has on underwear to me. Alt Focus: I thought the only reason girls wore short sundresses was so all the guys that see them would wonder if they were wearing underwear. If more than 50% don't wear underwear, I feel like the sundress community is just being dishonest with me. Shouldn't the Alt Alt Focus be "Why in the HELL can't people rotate their phones when shooting video?"
I may be crazy, but in regards to the underwear situation, I really don't care. I know the appeal is something carnal like "ooh, easier access for public sex stuff, SO HAWT", but to me its just eh. I know too many girls that go without underwear because they feel constricted or some nonsense, and that reasoning is not hot at all. But hey, I'm just a salmon swimming upstream I guess. FOCUS: There was this college bar I went to that seemed to have a fight every night...oh wait that's not random or crazy at all.
I've been caught up in a few bar/party brawls, but they are never as cool as they are on TV. No bottles or cue sticks breaking, no awesome roundhouse kicks, no wardrobe malfunctions involving blondes with huge racks. They typically involve lots of pushing and slurred threats, with maybe a wild punch or two. The only bar fight I've been directly involved in would sound like I was e-posing, so I'm not going to bother posting it. Spoiler What the hell. I was at a bar with a few friends, including one of my sister's friends who is a girl about 5'2" and 100 lbs. Everyone but me and this girl had left, and as she was walking out to her car, a couple of guys followed her out and one of them started drunkenly hitting on her. When she didn't respond to them they started cursing at her and jumping on her car. This was happening as I walked out the door to say goodbye to her, and I went from 0 to pissed off in about 2 seconds and confronted them - essentially calling them out on picking on a small woman, when I was right there and ready for their bullshit. After more yelling at each other the one guy rushed me, and I grabbed his arm and swung him into the side of the limo waiting for him. Yes, the limo. It turns out the guy I was grappling with was there with 9 other guys - all rugby players- who had booked a limo to NYC from Buffalo to see the Bill/Jets game the next day. They just happened to stop at the bar i was in. The guy I was dealing with was hammered, and I could handle him. Nine other dudes? Van Damme I am not. Luckily, eight of them were still in the bar, and the second dude outside was fairly sober and tried to break things up - although all this did was allow the first guy to reach over his shoulder and pop me in the face a few minutes before the bouncers came running out. The bouncers crammed him in the limo and apologized to me, and that ended it. To this day i still despise Bills fans.
I'm not much of a fighter. I think I have been in three in my life. I'd far rather walk away than get involved, or go to jail. That being said, I was punched in the face at a wedding shower once. The girlfriend and I were in Greenville, MS at the Yacht Club (steel building on the MS River) to celebrate one of her girlfriends getting married. I was relatively new to Delta folk and tried to put my best foot forward when meeting these people. I'd shake hands, strike up conversation, laugh, etc. Turns out Delta folk hate you and unless you hate them right back, you aren't going to get anywhere. Anyway, I mentioned to my girlfriend that the kid with dark hair and the unibrow resembled Mr. Bean. He must have superhuman hearing because he overheard me and started yelling and screaming. Folks tried to calm him down and got him inside. I commented that the whole deal was weird and he ran out and punched me in the face. We said our goodbyes to the bride and groom to be in the parking lot. They were both crying and apologizing. Then, the kid's parents come outside and start apologizing and insisted that their son come out and shake hands and let bygones be bygones. I told them that it wasn't necessary and someone was going to wind up killing their boy. Turns out, he was either in medical school or applying for medical school. Either way, an assault charge would have made his future much more cloudy and the parents were pretty concerned about this. Had I known that was their motive, I would have asked for $5k to not call the cops.
There is nothing that makes me happier than white people behaving badly. This is almost better than that runway fight where that fat black chick caught a folding chair one handed, then threw a table like the Hulk. Almost. I haven't been in a fight since high school. I really haven't seen any too good in person, except for one cat fight at this place called Mad River. Pretty sure I saw a 5'3" blonde punch a glass window and not flinch one time there, good times.
Not my story, but rather that of a friend of a friends. The carnival was in town, and so my mate and his friend Rick decided to avail themselves of the many delights available to them. Much fun was being had, until an incident occurred that saw Rick being declined a ride on the Ferris wheel. Apparently, this was racially motivated (Rick is black), and this greatly displeased our young hero. Much choice and fruity language was employed in a back and forth manner, and more and more carnival types started to gather. Now, Rick is huge and not to be fucked with. He is utterly fearless and will fucking ruin your shit if you are stupid enough to enter into fisticuffs (nicest bloke in the world otherwise). The carnival workers were milling around, not wanting to be the first to take on this very loud, very angry behemoth, instead choosing to taunt him further. It was at this point that the biggest Tea-cup spinning, dodgems riding slab of muscle and hate you have ever seen stormed over from one of the employee only areas. He was roughly six-six, built like a brick shit house, shaven headed and covered in tattoos. "This" thought young Richard "Is how I die". He weighed up his options: 1:Run (not likely due to the throng of meat-slabs fellow workers surrounding him. 2:Beg for his life (no chance-pride wouldn't allow it) 3:Take a beating and hope to not spend the rest of his days dribbling into his own crotch. 4:Fight. He chose 4. Closed his eyes, and threw the punchiest punch he had ever punched. He felt the connect, and the pain of finger bones vs jaw bone. And then he waited for the reply. Which never came. He opened his eyes, and the guy is sparked out on the floor. Not long after, the police arrived, cuffed Rick and put him in the back of the patrol car, all the while laughing their asses off. As they were driving off, one of them stopped laughing long enough to say "Look mate-we have to take you in, but you'll be let off with a caution. We always get trouble from this lot, but this is the only time they've ever called us for protection." So endeth the tale, as it was related to me. May want to take it with a shaker of salt.
I was at a day-long music fest in a fair grounds parking lot a few years ago. A very young, hipster-y crowd. Docile stoners, mostly. Absolutely no one looking to fight. Except for these two, muscle-y, shaved head dudes. Looked like they were only two guys out of thousands who'd ever even thrown a punch in their lives, and they found each other in the beer gardens, at the table behind my group of friends. We could hear them arguing, and eventually they went at it. The crazy thing was how long it went without bouncers showing up. No exaggeration, it was damn near a minute of boxing and grappling, before one got the upper hand, pushing the other one down, cracking his head on the concrete and landing a few more blows before getting off of him (and credit to him, because there were still no bouncers in sight). So the winner gets up, and then the loser does, and they're both kinda standing there stunned, adrenaline pumping through both and blood pouring out of each side of the loser's head, when this girl, who was involved somehow, starts SCREAMING inches from the loser's face, calling him names and stuff. No idea what the guy did, or if he deserved an ass kicking, but regardless, he got one, and this chick was definitely going over the top. You could see he was dazed, and no one was helping him, so even though he absolutely should not have done it, it wasn't a surprise when he let a left fly and bopped her right in the mouth. So then everyone's attention goes from the loser, straight back to the winner. His eyes widen, like everyone else's, at what he just saw, and it takes him about a second to launch back at the loser, taking him down and pummeling him more until finally some bouncers show up and take them away. Then we saw Bad Religion and Weezer. It was awesome.
Reminds me at Bonnaroo once I saw a dirty dirty fucking hippy start an argument with a guy selling booze out of a cooler. The booze seller looked like he might have been in the military which I think added to his uncrunchyness to the dirty hippy. The scraggly unshaved hippy accused army looking dude of selling watered down bottles of booze at super inflated prices. There was a shoving match and some scrapping. The army looking guy honestly did not want to fight one bit and started backing off and eventually running around a car repeatedly as the hippy tried to follow. In the middle of running the hippies blanket dress thing came off and he was running around completely nude. Eventually he tired and just walked off yelling about how the guy was a narc and a scam artist. The biggest and best brawl I ever saw was at a friend's house at Ohio U during the famous Halloween party. I had just got back from the bars, which my friend's house was right off High Street. I walk through his back yard to the front to see all of my friends in drag out brawl with the neighbors that lived in the adjoining apartment. Someone had sprayed one of my more fightenin' friends with a fire extinguisher as a goof. Who immediately started beating his fucking ass. The rest of the neighbors' friends joined in and it was a rumble. I think I arrived about mid way through. I'm not and have never been a huge fighter so I was just trying to separate my friends from the fight. I started dragging my roommate off a guy when this black kid who had been standing around the edges of the fight ran in and punched me in the eye and ran off again (something he was doing the whole fight). Once I got my roommate off the guy he was pummeling one of the neighbors drilled him from the porch with a un opened beer. My roommate started chucking every beer he had at him from a case of beer laying next to the street. My roommates girlfriend then tackled and beat the shit out this girl in the middle of the yard who had been threatening her. I had never seen such a beat down delivered by a girl before. All of this while everyone was in outrageous Halloween costumes. Fucking looney.
When I was about 12, my little brother and I were pretend dance fighting in my sister's backyard. I got too close with my windmill arms, freaked him out, and got punched in the mouth. That is the only fight I've ever been in.
I was at UFC 101. Durring the walkin Anderson Silva was booed and Forest Griffin was cheered like a hero. I think at that moment Silva decided to clown Forest, and it was magical. That same night walking out of the Wells Fargo Center, some bros were talking shit to a guy stopped on his motorcycle. Guy gets off his motorcycle (which is still running), walks up to the guy talking shit, gets hip tossed, eats a handful of punches, gets back up and takes off on his motorcycle. Cops were sitting a hundred feet away watching it with us. That was a crazy night.
Focus: I've only been in one fight and barely anything happened. It was Halloween weekend a few years ago and I was visiting my friends in Boston. Unbeknownst to me, the plan was to go to a Halloween party shortly after I arrived and I wasn't prepared with my costume. I'm pretty sure the fact that I wasn't in costume drew the attention of one of Those Girls who just decided she hated me the moment I stepped into the party. She kept bumping into me and "accidentally" spilling her drink on me and talking shit about me. It wasn't exactly the Best of Times for me back then, and I've managed to pick the right social situations where I've mostly managed to avoid these kinds of girls for most of my life and it was pissing me off that I had to deal with one, and I was drinking whiskey, so at one point when she pushed past me I hit her. She lunged at me and I blocked it somehow and then someone held her back and I left the party. I wish I could remember what her costume was - I remember it added a whole other layer of strange. Alt-Focus: I absolutely wear underwear with dresses, and it has to be cute underwear too because every fucking time I go outside in a wrap dress or a dress where the skirt has a bit of volume it suddenly gets really windy and I have to battle my dress from flying open or my skirt flying up above my head. It's embarrassing enough without everyone seeing my whole ass and poon or, worse, my weird end-of-laundry-cycle underwear. Sometimes I won't wear underwear when I'm wearing a maxi dress, because who cares? Being sans underwear in pants is uncomfortable and kind of gross, and being sans underwear in dresses is risky. But it really ain't no thang in maxi dresses. This usually only happens when I'm feeling sad, though. For some reason I have a huge aversion to underwear when I'm feeling sad.
Focus: I tend to avoid altercations if at all possible. However, a couple weeks ago my roommate knocked a guy out cold in the middle of the street outside the bar. The dude had been talking shit to him constantly so my roommate called his girlfriend a whore and they went at it in the bar. Bouncers threw them out, roommate tried to walk away and the guy came after him. It was one of those beautiful knockouts where you can see them completely lose control of their body and just crumple. Alternate focus: I was at this: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e9f_1368172048 (NSFW) and there was a slip in slide. After girls in sundresses took a few runs down the slip n slide it became clear thongs were the order of the day for under-sundress apparel. We sat at the bottom of the slide with my friend's golden and talked to wet girls for hours.
We were playing at a bar in bum fuck Montana one night and this one sketchy looking, very intoxicated dude with a pony tail kept fucking with a table of people. I have no idea what was being said, but I saw Mr. Ponytail grope one of the girls at the table. One of the guys at the table started to stand up and all his buddies quickly jumped up, sat him back down, and presumably told Ponytail to fuck off. Two minutes later, I saw Ponytail sneak up behind the guy that had been held down and poured a pitcher of beer on his head. "Oh shit" I thought to myself. Once again his buddies restrained him. By this time I'm starting to wonder what the fuck? Because, what the fuck? A few minutes later the guy that had been restrained went towards the restroom and Ponytail broke a pool stick across his back. The dude didn't miss a beat, he spun around, grabbed the guy by his ponytail and drug him out the door. He returned a few minutes later looking none the worse for wear. Ponytail never returned. On our next break I went over to their table and asked what the hell had happened. It turns out that the guy they kept restraining was the town's martial arts instructor, he was something like an 8th degree black belt. Ponytail was some drunk dipshit that was feeling froggy. The story I was told is that Blackbelt drug Ponytail out into the parking lot by his hair, stood him up, and gave him a spinning roundhouse kick to the head. Game over. Also, I don't know if this is actually a fight story, but it involves a couple who were having a very heated argument. It was the middle of the week and we were playing to an empty bar. There was a crowd of two who were clearly having a very animated conversation. Hands were waving, fists were banging on the table, veins were bulging. We just kept playing. After a while you start to feel a bit self conscience putting on a show for no one. I didn't put on eye liner, mousse my hair, and get all jacked up for this shit. I went over and grabbed the mic from our singer and asked "Hey! Do you want us to turn it down so you can hear each other or what?" Shit like that is exactly why the rest of the guys didn't allow me to have my own mic. The guy threw a glass at me and they left. And then we played for a crowd of none.
The worst fight I've ever seen was at a nightclub a while back. Some drunk tweaker got kicked out of the club and kept trying to fight the bouncer. The bouncer was a 5ft tall Japanese man with the sort of ridiculous physique that says powerlifting and roids. He was basically a rectangle shape, not unlike a bar fridge. Anyway, he is calm as calm can be, until this guy starts calling him 'nip' this and 'slant eye' that. Bouncer shrugs reluctantly, directs Douchebag to a spot outside the camera's field of view, and says 'let's go'. He let's douchebag swing first, which is a massive sloppy overhand right that gets dodged before it's even halfway through the swing. Bouncer hits him with a straight right which knocks the guy down, but he immediately pops back up, swearing all the while. Bouncer knocks him down again, then kicks him in the head. The guy gets back up, yelling about how no yellow slant eye gook is going to beat him. The next part has stayed with me really vividly. The bouncer knocks him down again, and then just starts stomping on his head, asking him if he's had enough between every stomp. "You done?" "Fuck you you nip cunt" *Stomp*. "You done?" "Fucking gook fuck you". *Stomp* "Finished?" "Suck my dick slant eye". *Stomp*. I've never seen anything like it. The bouncer sounded like he was enquiring about the weather, and the guy was curled up trying to protect his head, offering no offense at all, but still spouting off this ridiculous shit as if he wasn't getting the asskicking of a lifetime. This went on for what seemed like a very long time, until another bouncer grabbed bouncer 1 and hustled him downstairs. Douchebag got right back up, apparently none the worse for wear for his beating, and started screaming about how he was coming back with his boys and his guns. Shockingly, he never did. Alternatively, I watch a lot of awesome fights among the local Muay Thai community. There's some really high level striking going on here, despite the fact I live in bumfuck nowhere. $30 for a ringside seat in the local high school, 12+ fights, it's awesome.