Focus: What fictional characters would be an awesome match-up in a duel or an alliance? Why? Alt-Focus: What match-ups would be the most lopsided?
I'm in the mood to nerd out, so let's do this. It belongs here though. The most lopsided battle? Magneto vs a Terminator. It wouldn't even be a battle. Magneto would crush it like a ball of aluminum foil or make it dance around like a marionette puppet. I don't know if there's anything a Terminator or an entire army of them could possibly do. The only possibility is if they are like the future Sentinels in Days of Future Past that we're made of a plastic alloy.
Frank (Once Upon a Time in the West) vs. Johan Liebert (Monster) here you have the two coldest characters, ever. Just the evil aura alone would kill them both from being in the same room together. Darryl Revok (Scanners) vs. Scrappy-Doo. Because I want to see Scrappy's head explode in a disgustingly gory mess and then piss on his grave afterwards after eating a bushel of asparagus. Worst cartoon character ever. Fucking EVER. Agent Bob Smecker (The Boondocks Saints) vs. Mickey Milkovick (Shameless). The two both funniest AND angriest gay characters in history. No matter what happens, it would be story-worthy.
Tom Hanks' character in Philadelphia VS. Jared Leto's in Dallas Buyer's Club. The tag lines: "Whoever wins, just don't get any on me." "This Christmas... AIDS Harder." Rain Man VS. Leonard Lowe from Awakenings. I'm not sure how exactly they could do battle, much less team up for anything, but I'd pay to see it. Zed from Police Academy and Fenster from Usual Suspects. It could be a buddy comedy/crime heist. It would also be the most incomprehensible film ever made. The only American language flick subtitled for Americans. Steven Segal VS. Predator. Not even one of Segal's characters. I just want to see his dumb fucking face explode and his spine kept as a trophy. In all honesty the one I was thinking about earlier is Dirty Harry and Bullitt. Mainly because Bullitt is this dull, unaffected chunk of wood and Clint was way fucking cooler. How the fuck does anyone think different? Fuck you. I'd like to see Clint pump a few rounds into that tool. Battle of the face moles.
Sydney Bristow from Alias is on assignment to find any clones from Orphan Black that are AWOL and bring them to the Dyad Institute. Arvin Sloane set up the assignment as a favor to Rachel because of course those two slimy little shits would somehow know each other. There is a clone that has developed mutant genes and is at the Xavier Institute. Sydney breaks into the school and encounters Sarah Manning, who is also there to find the mutant clone. They scuffle and their fight is broken up by Jean Grey, who they both inadvertently punch right in her stupid face before they realize she's come in between them. She recovers and fills Sydney in on what's really going on and they go to meet the mutant clone, who at that moment is having torrid sex with Wolverine. Meanwhile Magneto shows up at Dyad interested in their cloning research. Dr. Leekie shits kittens when he finds out that mutants exists and practically falls prostrate before Mystique when he sees her transform before his very eyes. Rachel gets pissed that there are people more specialer than her and calls up Arvin Sloane. He is convinced that all this has something to do with Rambaldi and calls together the Alliance to take down all the mutants (good and bad). Meanwhile Sydney and the Clone Club (with Felix!) join Professor X to fight off both Magneto and the Alliance. (yes I know that this doesn't jibe with last couple of episodes of OB, but work with me here)
His character from Ghost Dad. Motherfucker is a ghost. What beats a ghost? Winston Zedmore? Hell naw. I love Cliff Huxtable but homie ain't got nothing on Ghost Dad.
Leonard Part 6, DUDE. He throws corrosive hamburger patties at henchmen and rides a flying ostrich. It's also the worst fucking movie ever made so don't watch it.
Han Solo v Captain Kirk. Han has his blaster, Kirk his phaser. I'm getting a nerd-boner just thinking about it. They're both super resourceful, but Kirk would win if it came down to fists. Gandalf v Optimus Prime. Who even knows how this fight would go down? Whatever, it would be awesome. Snake Plisken v Jason Bourne v James Bond (Daniel Craig). Any Bond other than the Daniel Craig version would be the first to go out. Roger Moore's Bond v Jason Bourne? That would be hilarious. Bourne would bloody those cream bell-bottoms up nice and good.
I would love to see an alliance between Lady Olenna... and Lady Grantham They would probably just run the entire fucking world.
Harry Dresden teams up with Razor Eddie punk god of the straight razor. The amazing, inventive, and frankly horrible ways in which evil doers would die would make for an enjoyable read. Most lopsided battle...I'll say Spiderman vs. Green Arrow.